Should I Let My Kids Play Video Games?

It’s a concern most parents can relate to. Will my child’s mind turn to mush with too many video games? Or, what if they play video games that inspire them toward violence? Or gratuitous behavior? Or, at a minimum, influence their language vocabulary in ways that would make a sailor blush?

Let’s face it. Video games are not going away. They are more prevalent and easily accessible than they were even ten years ago. Even great ones are downloadable for free on many platforms, and with leagues, shared “worlds,” and so forth, they become not just an imaginary space for kids to play, but they are socially inspired as well—shared experiences in a virtual world.

As a parent, I’ve been well-immersed into the world of video games. That doesn’t mean I understand how to play all of them, but with three video game consoles, cell phones, and tablets, the world of the virtual is all around me on a daily basis.

I have found some pros to video games—while identifying all the cons along the way. A few of the pros have taken me by surprise. Let me break them down for you:

1. A world of pure imagination.

There is one game my son plays consistently. This one is Minecraft, and while I have my concerns about him socializing in various worlds where there are people I don’t know, I also enjoy the fact that he can literally spend hours creating, exploring, and using his imagination to craft worlds with his best friend. With a little bit of research, we came up with some rules and safeguards, so he only plays online with people he knows, and I cannot tell you how much his world has erupted into a fantastical one of creative exploration.

Video games are not all mindless, brain cell-sucking activities. In fact, on vacation recently, my son identified the rock structure and layer simply because of the geological exposure he’d gleaned from building worlds in Minecraft. Even my husband looked at me and shrugged, saying, “guess they’re not all bad after all.”

2. Shared experiences.

My son and I are big Clash Royale fans. Granted, it’s a game we play on our phones, and there are a gazillion things you can dump money into to make it an even crazier experience. However, we’ve connected our accounts on this game and have random battles with our pixelated characters. The “violence” isn’t much worse than a game of Chess, and in a lot of ways, this video game is one of learning what characters can squelch the oppositions. We earn gold coins, epic characters, and more. But the best part is that my son and I share these experiences. In fact, I’ve found playing this game not to be much different than if we pulled out a board game and played that together.

Spending time with linked accounts is a great way to stay engaged as a parent while meeting your kid where they’re at. And games like Clash Royale are mostly safe environments where your child isn’t being introduced to adult-level gaming or content.

3. Opportunity for discussion.

Outright banning video games sends me into a cautionary wince. While I will admit there are many drawbacks to them, we’ve found they have opened great avenues for discussion with our kids. My youngest has learned about the game rating system. He’s discovered the differences between them, and we’ve had some very good conversations about why we may be okay with some games, but a solid M for Mature is going to be met with concern.

What has this done for my kids that’s positive? It has been a tool to teach them discretion. To teach them how to make wise decisions with what they put into their minds and what they allow themselves to see. In a great way, it’s given us the opportunity to teach them that while everything is permissible, not everything is beneficial. Including them in this decision-making process also helps them to accept the end result, plus it encourages them to use the same process of discretion in other areas of their life. Let’s face it. We’re not always going to be there to filter out these things for them. Having them be involved in the discussion is huge in helping prepare them to make choices when we can’t have input.

4. Unexpected family time.

So, during the height of the pandemic, we were some of those folks who invested in a gaming console. I was concerned about the idea because I felt there were plenty of other constructive things my kids could be doing with their time. However, I acquiesced and, within a few days, discovered a treasure.

This console became the new dinner table for us as a family! For real. Okay, it sounds outlandish but bear with me. My husband did a fabulous job of researching games that could include four or more players. This meant, as a family, we could gather together and play racing games, strategy games, word games, and more while laughing, teasing, and participating in some friendly trash talk.

I’m not sure we expected how much of the conversations around the games would evolve into a retelling of the day’s events, a funny story that happened with one of their friends, and so on. It also brought us as parents into a part of their world that we otherwise would have been estranged from. When my son tells his buddies that his mom is wicked at Mario Cart racing, there’s instantly a reaction of awe, of disbelief, and I have heard some semi-envious “my mom would NEVER play a video game with me.” My son is proud of his mom’s video go-cart talents—or, let’s be honest—lack of talents. He is pleased that his family plays with him, not in opposition to the hobby he loves, but can often be frowned on as harmful and therefore abolished in entire bias.

Are video games harmful? Sure. Many can be. There’s an intense world of gaming that goes far beyond family games into a world of violence, pornography, obscenities, and more. I would never make an argument for a parent to offer up permission for gaming in their homes flippantly. However, I would make a solid argument that not all gaming is bad. There are benefits to it—even healthy educational experiences within gaming. My son has been toying with coding, graphics, and even planning out a game he’d like to build one day. Planning it out with a pencil and a notebook and lots of notes.

Gaming can be seen as another form of creativity. It can be an outlet for family fun. It can be a chance to unite with your kid at a level they can relate to and understand.

So, in the end, should you let your kids play video games? My answer would be, don’t discount a “yes.” Research it. Do your due diligence as a parent and weigh the pros and cons. Be cautious of assuming video games instantly equals a laundry list of cons.

You may be surprised that, yes, you should let your kids play video games. And maybe, you should play them too!

Jaime Jo Wright is an ECPA and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author. Her novel “The House on Foster Hill” won the prestigious Christy Award and she continues to publish Gothic thrillers for the inspirational market. Jaime Jo resides in the woods of Wisconsin, lives in dreamland, exists in reality, and invites you to join her adventures at jaimewrightbooks.com and at her podcast madlitmusings.com where she discusses the deeper issues of story and faith with fellow authors.