Six Things I Want My Daughters to Know
- Alicia Searl Contributing Writer
- Updated Jul 03, 2023
Having three daughters of various ages, all with their own unique make-up, personality, and set of skills, the emotional energy in our home is high and rather colorful. But don’t get me wrong. I love being a “girl mom.” God has slowly been working on my heart, giving me a fresh perspective with each new and emerging season. Thankfully, in time, I’ve not only grown in this role and learned to embrace it, but I can say that I truly appreciate it as well.
Even still, I must admit I have much more to learn. Especially when my words fall short, my actions don’t always demonstrate my love for them, creating distance and tension. Sigh. Longing to have a special bond with them but knowing our relationship is naturally fragile, it often encounters a tidal wave of highs and lows.
As I scroll through endless pictures on my phone and relive the past, I also notice they are growing up right before my eyes. When I glance at my oldest, I realize just how quickly time gets away from us, and I wonder how to seize these moments. I find myself asking, how can I etch truth in their hearts before they leave and make an imprint on this world?
Maybe you also find yourself wishing you could freeze time and place precious truths into the pockets of your daughter’s heart. Oh, friend, you are not alone. Maybe together, we speak truths over our darling daughter’s hearts while slowly (and tearfully) releasing them into a world that desperately needs their shining and radiant light!
So, when you are sitting on her bed at night, and she wants to spill the tea on her day, share your heart too. When you are traveling in the car, and she is catching up on her social life, casually work truths in. When you are eating dinner, shopping for a new dress, curling her hair, or have a spontaneous moment when she is receptive and listening, let her know, and tell her…
1. You are SO Loved
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” - John 15:9
Sweet girl, you will come into dark seasons where you may forget your worth. You may even feel unlovable. People will hurt or disappoint you, leaving you to feel used or forgotten. Please know that where people will fail you, Jesus never ever will! His love for you is indescribable; you can always depend on Him! There is nothing you can do to make Him stop loving you! And just so you know, the same goes for me, dear daughter. I will always love you, no matter what.
2. You Have a Purpose
“’ For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” - Jeremiah 29:11
Unfortunately, our plans don’t always pan out. We can pray about them, talk about them ad nauseum, hope, and dream about our heart’s desires, but sometimes that isn’t what God wants for us. Just remember God’s plans are always better. They may not make sense or even come with disappointment or pain, but His will and ways are always for our own good. Remember, His timing is perfect. His way is perfect, and His will for you is what you need to pray for. Let God lead your dreams, hopes, and desires, and watch what He does!
3. Your Choices Matter
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
Every choice you make (big or small) will have some sort of impact on your life. You choose to play from the friends you allow in your life to the sports. Sometimes you will make good choices, and unfortunately, there will be times that you do not. Guilt and shame will be wrapped in those decisions. Eventually, they can lead you to believe things that aren’t true. This is where you must get in tune with discerning the pull of the Holy Spirit. Think and pause before you make a decision. Most importantly, allow God to lead you to the right paths and trust Him with every decision you make.
4. You Will Fail…And That’s Okay
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
This may be hard to hear, but you will fail and mess up. You will make a decision that goes against the foundation set before you. You will know and feel it, yet may still choose to do it. This will break my heart. I may even grow angry or upset. But the truth is, you may fall and even fail, but that is not where you have to stay! You always have the choice to get back up and take ownership of your choice with grace and dignity. The point is you may fail, but you don’t have to be defeated. Grace, forgiveness, and freedom come with letting go and giving it to God.
5. Your Beauty Will Radiant from Within
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30
It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the world’s standard of beauty, especially as it is plastered everywhere and easily found by scrolling your phone. Not to mention quickly falling into the comparison trap as you notice pretty girls at school or take notice of celebrities and their traits, wondering if you can somehow achieve the same. Pinterest may offer a slew of information on enhancing your eyes or clearing your skin, but it’s not the form of beauty you should be chasing after. It will never be enough at some point, so please don’t fall for it! Beauty is found in the girl that takes care of her heart. The one that shows compassion and gentleness to others. The one that embraces her femininity and honors her body with modesty. The one that takes care of herself from the inside out. You are so beautiful, sweet girl, always remember that!
6. You Are Meant to Stand Apart
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
The world is so loud! Many lies will come after your fragile heart. It will declare things that go against God and His Word. If you are unsure of right or wrong, stay tuned in by getting involved in a Bible study, seek fellowship, and search out mentors who can walk beside you and lead and guide you. You were not meant to be a part of this world or conform to its radical ways. Rather, you were made to be set apart! You were bought with a price and therefore serve a valuable purpose. So, your life will look and feel different, and it’s supposed to. Don’t fear standing alone or standing up for what is noble, true, good, and righteous. Seek God first and His will; from that, let your love for Him shine through as you love others.
A Prayer for My Daughters
Faithful Father,
Thank you for the precious gift of each of my daughters. Please come alongside each of us as we grow in our relationship with You and bond with one another. Help lead and guide me as their mom to offer sound wisdom with strong conviction and carry that out with gentleness and compassion.
Lord, I ask that You be with my daughters as they grow into the women You call them to be. Etch in their heart the unwavering love You have for them. Help them seek Your will and way, offer discernment, and remind them who they are in You alone. Give them a passion to live boldly for You, and always to remember who they are as Your beloved daughter. Amen.
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Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/IvanJekic
