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How to Talk to Your Teen about Breaking News
- Alicia Searl Contributing Writer
- Published Aug 23, 2022
Breaking news seems to be streaming every minute of every day through every media outlet. Back in the day, it used to be just the television that bared all the information, closing with the National Anthem, and then white noise at midnight. It was as if to signal, it's late, America, no more news – go to bed.
Fast forward to today. Now you can binge-watch movies 'til 4 am. There are no filters, no breaks, no boundaries. While there are benefits to technology, information overload has earned its way to making everyone enlightened and well-informed; supposedly. We have become experts just by watching a YouTube video. Influencers are everywhere. And the news, while in question of its validity, is making everyone believe "their" viewpoint is the correct one.
If you search, you will find just about anything, all with a quick swipe of your finger. Now thanks to the dopamine hits we get from that infamous like button to the mindless scroll that seems to waste hours of our time, the algorithms have picked up on our patterns, placing hot topics right in front of us just to get a rouse. We all know this, yet, we keep coming back for more!
So, how do we talk to our teens about these issues while placing boundaries around their hearts and mind? Better yet, how do we do this while instilling a little self-control in a matter that seems to be only intensifying and growing worse? Is there a way to open up a line of communication to discuss such issues without sounding too "preachy" or "cringy?"
As parents, we may feel like we need to say the right things or have all the right answers. But you and I both know that those conversations don't always go as planned. It's okay to say you don't understand why things are happening, but you are available to listen to how they feel, pray with them, and seek Truth together.
Here are a few things I am learning on this journey regarding talking to my teens about the endless and sometimes awful headlines.
Tap into Their Understanding
Each child will take the information they have and digest it a little differently. Depending on your child's personality and if they internalize or externalize their feelings, you'll have a better idea of how to approach certain topics. Therefore offering a pathway on how to respond.
If your teen tends to close off their feelings, it may be difficult to open up a line of dialogue. You may even be left wondering if they are growing numb to the news or being ruled by fear and anxiety. Here are a few tips to keep in mind with your teen struggles to share their feelings.
- Give them space but let them know you are available to talk whenever they are ready.
- Seize moments you do have and make time to listen.
- Offer to use other forms of communication. Often they will share more via text than face-to-face.
If your teen readily shares their heart and displays all their feelings, communication may come a little easier. However, many times, the wide range of emotions could catch you off guard, leaving you lost on how to react. As they search for sympathy, here are a few ways you can gently respond to your teen.
- Try to remain neutral and calm as they share their feelings.
- Remain positive and seek the good news wrapped up in all the bad.
- Validate their feelings and share your personal struggles.
Be Patient and Listen
James 1:19 tells us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I've had to cling to this Bible verse quite a lot while raising teenagers. It may be easy to listen at times, but my, oh my, is it ever so easy to interject my feelings and try to "fix it" with my motherly wisdom. Let me just say that usually never goes over too well.
When we are attentive listeners, we are slow to speak. It allows us to escape our world for a minute and step into theirs, providing the opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level. Let your teen openly talk, share and ask questions while you sit and just listen. There is no need to have the answers; just knowing you support them is enough.
Patience is key here. Stay focused on what they are saying and acknowledge you are paying attention by using follow-up questions. If there are too many distractions, or they begin talking in the middle of your toddler having a full-on melt-down, assure them that you want to hear them out and will make the time to check in when you can provide your full attention. Then follow up and do so.
Ask for Discernment
With all the misuse of media and the blatant lies being thrown around, it's no wonder our society can't disseminate what are facts and what are falsehoods. We are in desperate need of discernment. But teaching our teens to see and do what is right and wrong isn't enough. It isn't too hard to see that our world is shifting its pattern, and what was once deemed as wrong appears to be right. We need to lead our teens to discover spiritual discernment.
Ask your teens some of these questions to get them thinking about current headlines:
What is the message? Is it true?
Does this event glorify God?
What is wrong? How do you know?
How do you feel you can help?
It may be an initial response to shield our teens from all the world's injustices, but Scripture tells us otherwise. God has a plan to use our teens and a purpose for their lives. We need to allow them to be in the world to discover it while teaching them not to be caught up in its sinful ways (Romans 12:2). They were made to shine and be a light, so we must give them opportunities to shine and spread the Truth (Matthew 5:14-16). Yes, it is scary, but it's part of letting go and trusting God. We must believe they are capable because God is faithful.
Show Empathy
It may feel like you are riding a tidal wave of emotional ups and downs during these adolescent years, and in the middle of it all emerges your self-centered teen. The one that doesn't even know what the word empathy means. Well, guess what? I hear it's normal. Phew. That's a relief, right?
Naturally, in this stage of their life, they will be absorbed with themselves, their friends, and their current stations. It's not to say that outside factors don't play a part; they obviously do, but as mentioned before, they will all respond a little differently. So, how do we get to a place where they actually take a step back and look at the bigger picture, prompting them to see a world outside the comforts of their own homes? That is the question.
Make it personal. Remind them of what they have overcome. Letting them share their experiences and trials, in time, opens the doors to take notice of others. Lead them to seek after what they are passionate about and line up opportunities to let them serve. For instance, if they are an animal lover and see inhumane things happening in their neighborhood, ask how they want to help.
Spread Joy
Joy is one of those words that just brings a smile to my face. I love ending on this note because it's something we need to offer our teens and let spread throughout our homes. Did you know that the word joy (and similar words) is mentioned 430 times in the Bible? That's because, as believers, we need to exude it! Believing that we are spreaders of the most amazing joy there is found in Jesus!
As we encounter trials and heartbreaking news at a rapidly growing pace, express joy over your teen. Make the heart of your home a safe haven from the destructive noise of the world outside. Spreading joy can be simple and sweet. Here are three ways you can spread joy over your teen every day.
-Smile
-Tell them you love them
-Express gratitude
Some days it may be easier than others to smile and tell them you love them but strive to do it anyways. When you spread joy, just remember it is truly contagious. You spread joy, they will spread joy! And we all know the world could use a little more of that.
