3 Things to Consider Before Letting Your Kids Use TikTok

This was a question posed by a fellow parent this week on my Facebook. It was interesting to read the responses. They varied from absolute alarm and the ringing of bells to a cavalier approach. Interestingly enough, the answers were all pretty dogmatic no matter which approach they came from, and they were also all-encompassing.

First and foremost, there are a few things to consider when making this decision, and believe it or not, your child’s age doesn’t have a lot to do with it. No magic age suddenly makes a child ready for TikTok.

Think about these elements first:

1. Do you know what TikTok is?

This is sort of critical. You’ll lose clout with your child really fast if you ban them from something you’ve never tried or don’t understand. You need to educate yourself on what TikTok is and its value or lack thereof.

2. Are there security risks to TikTok?

Outside of the blaring international security risks that have some states considering banning TikTok altogether, it will be important for you to drill down on the risks to your child.

-Are there security risks posed by other users/strangers in the form of potential grooming?

-Is the content filtered, or is it a free-for-all?

-Can your child browse TikTok without interacting, or does it require them to interact?

-What are TikTok LIVES, and how does that affect your child?

-Can your child’s location be identified if they post to TikTok?

-What elements of security are given to avoid predators?

3. Is TikTok potentially addictive and/or harmful to your child?

Read the reports, the science, and the research. It’s all out there online. You need to be an informed parent and make sure you understand the nuances of the media and your children.

Once you’ve processed those elements, you’re probably already well on your way to making an informed decision as to whether TikTok is right for your child. But let’s look at this a little deeper:

Is TikTok a One For All? In other words, is it a dogmatic yes for all children or a no for all children? The answer is no. It’s not. You need to know your child's maturity level, trustworthiness, and ability to process materials coming at them. Keep in mind that their brains are also still developing, so even the most mature middle school-aged kid may still be affected by the continued scrolling, repeated 30-second increments, and the dopamine spurts being created by this app.

That being said, some kids can handle TikTok better than others. For example, I know one teenager whose TikTok feed is 90% cat videos and the other 10% horses. The algorithm feeds to her interests, and since she’s spent little to no time on the more divisive and harmful content, her feed is pretty ambiguous when it comes to dangerous.

On the other hand, there’s another teenager I’m acquainted with who is fascinated by self-image and social perception. Her feed is filled with makeup tutorials, bikini modeling sessions, hair and nail suggestions, name-brand fetishes, and super cute high-school guys. There’s an image being projected to her daily of what is popular, pretty, and necessary for personal value. A makeup tutorial in and of itself? Probably harmless. But the constant feeding of that type of content turns the attitude of this teen right from being a fun-loving teenager to being a teenager who is discontent with their life, looks, and belongings.

So, in short, what’s fine for one may not be healthy for the other. You need to know your kid.

TikTok is becoming the most popular app among kids. It’s not going away anytime soon. Statistics show that TikTok is outperforming YouTube when it comes to a kid’s most used app. Is this a problem? Maybe. There once was a deep concern about children building their spare time around screen time. Now, it’s how long each screen time session lasts that is becoming a question of concern.

For example, my son used to watch a specific YouTube channel with an individual who produced science-based videos for kids. My son watched it so much that he began naming various species of wasps I’d never heard of to lizards I didn’t know existed. So, while I was concerned about how much time he was watching YouTube, the content was not necessarily negative, and it did contribute—oddly enough—to his education! (shhh, don’t tell him that!).

TikTok, on the other hand, are very short blips of time. Some reels are as short as 15 seconds, with others lasting closer to a minute. There are a few concerns that immediately come to mind with this.

1. It teaches short attention spans and a lack of focused concentration, which can exacerbate learning disabilities, the ability to problem solve and use logic, and so on. It also means the information comes in almost as quickly as it goes out.

In other words, survey a child on the last thirty minutes of TikTok they watched, and very few will be able to give you a solid summary of all the videos they saw. Often, many, if not all, are quickly forgotten. They’re quick-hit fixes for the brain. Electrical spurts, so to speak, with the engine never actually starting.

2. Very little can be communicated in that short amount of time. Granted, I’ve seen some very poignant reels that are a testament to important issues. But in the end, they aren’t long enough or in-depth enough to contribute to any lesson, argument, or quality of concept. They are an advertisement for a larger concept. This means TikTok is an ad channel. We buy streaming services and pay for the upgrades to avoid the 30-second advertisements. Now, we switch to our phones and spend 90 minutes watching 30 seconds of non-impactful information. Ironic?

So. Should you let your kids use TikTok? Only you can answer that. There are scientific concerns for health, mental health, and developmental health you’ll want to take into consideration. There are concerns over content and what is being shown to your kids. There are also the elements of positivity, in that some reels are just ridiculously funny, there’s a myriad of harmless entertainment to be had, and yes, it’s just a part of culture now.

As you approach the big question, approach it with your kid too. Involve them in the decision-making process. Allow them to make their arguments as to why they find it important. You may bite your tongue the entire time, but allowing them to voice their concerns is good, too. It shows them that you consider their opinions valuable in the decision-making process. Include them in the research on the harms and benefits of TikTok. Then come to a decision together.

Ultimately, there isn’t a right or wrong answer to the question. It’s not black and white. A dogmatic “yes” can’t be given any more than a dogmatic “no.” This is why, as parents, we must always stay informed and involved. Parenting in this digital age? It’s a maze we will all have to flounder our way through.

Jaime Jo Wright is an ECPA and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author. Her novel “The House on Foster Hill” won the prestigious Christy Award and she continues to publish Gothic thrillers for the inspirational market. Jaime Jo resides in the woods of Wisconsin, lives in dreamland, exists in reality, and invites you to join her adventures at jaimewrightbooks.com and at her podcast madlitmusings.com where she discusses the deeper issues of story and faith with fellow authors.