What Role Do Parents Play in Their Child's Faith?

As I write this, there is a bunch of teen girls giggling and probably doing TikTok dances upstairs in the game room. The snacks in my pantry have been depleted, backpacks litter the foyer, and the sounds of life fill the once-quiet home. As crazy as it may be, I welcome the noise. Well, mostly.

We’ve entered a new season of parenting. College fliers are gradually streaming in, my nails have been bitten down to nubs as my teen slides behind the steering wheel of my car, and I have to fight the urge to ugly cry every time she gives me “the look” – the look that reminds me she is growing up before my eyes. I get it now. I am living out the “short years.”

However, still having a six-year-old in the house, I don’t easily forget those long, tedious, and physically exhausting days. Strapping a baby to my hip and hauling her to softball games, diffusing toddler temper tantrums, getting startled awake before the crack of dawn, and wiping up spilled milk are all reminders that each season brings forth a bounty of blessings and countless challenges. Parenting is not for the faint of heart.

Even still, with each ever-changing season, my ability as a parent comes into question. Will all the sleepless nights, boo-boo kissing, cuddling, and reminding them that they are adored be worth it? Will they remember the foundation that was clumsily laid before them? Did we do enough as parents to etch the Word of God in their hearts?

Train up your child in the way they should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 is a well-known and beloved verse that many cling to and strive to live out with their children. Yet, as comforting as this verse may be, it isn’t a promise indicating that if we raise our children the right way and teach them about God, they will carry that love and faith into adulthood. Or on the contrary, if we don’t teach them to yearn for Truth and seek God’s will, they won’t eventually find Him on their own.

While our role as parents in the development of our children’s faith is a sacred task and immense responsibility, we must understand that we aren’t in complete control of their spiritual life. We lead them to Christ and then trust God’s plan and purpose. Our children may easily embrace the Christian faith. Then again, at some point, they may turn away from it. But their faith and walk with Christ is a personal journey, not a reflection of our parenting skills.

The truth of the matter is that our children may be part of us, being our heritage and holding our hearts, but they ultimately belong to the Lord. He will direct their paths, lead them back when they stray away, and be in constant pursuit of their heart (Proverbs 3:5-6). We need only to trust the Lord and entirely rely on Him. We do that by meeting with Him on the pages of His Word and opening up our hearts in prayer.

As our roles and the degree in which we train our children may shift and change throughout the years, our God is our constant source and is ever faithful. He extends His infinite and unconditional love to us so we, in turn, can share that love with our precious children. Let’s see how that may look at various stages.

Younger Years - Set a Foundation

It’s easy to instill the Word of God into a young child. They are like little sponges, ready and willing to soak in whatever they can. Their minds are open to ideas and can easily be shaped and formed. Parents set the stage for who God is and His infinite love for them in the early ages of their life. However, it is also wise to be aware of what they are exposed to and protect and guard their hearts and minds against dangerous worldviews.

Our role as parents at this vital and young age:

- Teach them God is love and has a plan and purpose for their lives (Jeremiah 29:11).

- God is authority over their lives, and the Bible is Truth (John 1:1).

- God knows everything and sees all (Proverbs 15:3).

- They must respect their mother and father (Exodus 20:12).

- Share the story of Jesus through Christmas and Easter (Luke 2:8-12 and Matthew 26:17-30).

Middle Years - Be an Example

Once our children reach middle school, their focus shifts from family beliefs to beginning to grovel with an understanding of who God is, who they are, and how He shapes their future. Faith starts to get personal at this age. They are trying to make sense of the world and the foundation that was set for them as a young child. However, that being said, at this stage, they are still in need of direction and looking for examples of how to live this life.

Our role as parents at this age of personal discovery of faith:

- Openly talk about your faith and ways you read the Word and connect with Jesus.

- Remind them of their true identity in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:5, Jeremiah 1:5, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

- Explain to them that God has a plan for their lives (Ephesians 2:10 and Jeremiah 29:11).

- Let them know that God is a just God, but full of grace, mercy, and forgiveness (Deuteronomy 32:4 and Psalms 89:14).

- The parable of the lost sheep is a good lesson for them to understand that God is in constant pursuit of their hearts. (Luke 15)

Older Years - Pray and Let God

As they reach high school and early adulthood, they may have grown in their faith and have a better understanding of the Bible, but this is often where the rubber meets the road as they tackle real-life issues. Many may dabble in worldly desires or become concerned and confused when bad things happen. Some question God or fall to the ways of the flesh. This is where we trust the training God gave us to instill and etch in their hearts and pray God is covering them with His love and protection, leading them back to Truth and His love.

Our role as parents at this age of faith being tested:

- Pray. And pray some more. Pray for your heart, too; you’ll need the courage to accept that you are gradually stepping back and letting them make decisions for their own life.

- Lead them to their gifts and talents that you see that they may not see (Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Peter 4:10).

- Remind them that God is sovereign (Romans 8:28).

- Discuss the difference between the world and the Biblical point of view (Romans 12:2).

- Share stories of times you struggled in your faith and how God pulled you through.

- Remind them that you are always their source of safety and a place to call home. They will need to feel that when they fail.

Our goal as parents is to lead our children to Christ and pray for their salvation. When they finally decide to follow Christ and walk in obedience, may we be a part of that joyous and blessed occasion.

However, the Holy Spirit may move in their heart later in life, prompting them to make an emotional decision and pledge their faith without all their family and friends present to witness such a monumental and beautiful commitment. While it may be discouraging and disheartening not to share this proclamation of their faith, know that you were a huge part of that emotional and “on the spot” decision as a believing and prayerful parent. That is worth rejoicing!

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father,

We thank you for the gift of our children. We consider it an honor and a great privilege to be an integral part of their lives. We ask that You come alongside us in raising them to be the men and women You are calling them to be. Lord, we place their lives in Your loving hands and ask for their faith to grow and that they yearn for Truth. We pray for their protection. O God, please guard their hearts and minds. Give them a clear vision of the purpose and plan You have for them, and may they be zealous to live a life that glorifies You.

We ask all these things in Your precious name.

Amen.