3 Types of Friends You Need

Is there anything sweeter than a soul-refreshing friendship? You know the one you can randomly meet up with at a coffee shop, spill your guts, and then receive a warm and understanding hug. Then you have the mom who gives you encouragement and helpful advice when you’re in the trenches of a truly disheartening and difficult season of motherhood. 

Ahh, sweet friendships. We all need them, right? And yes, we need to be those friends as well. But maybe questions flood your heart. Questions like: What kinds of friend should I truly be searching for? Are there different kinds of friends for various seasons of my life? Does that essentially mean I must change as well?

Well, my sweet friend, is it okay that I call you that? I know we haven’t officially met, but I have a keen feeling that if I met you over a warm cup of coffee we’d somehow just click. That’s because if you are here (at iBelieve), you are my kind of gal. All that aside, let’s be honest for just a minute, shall we?

I have had all those questions mentioned above about friendships as well, and more. That’s because relationships with other women aren’t always so cut and dry. Friendships can be tricky and not so easy to navigate. Our emotions and hearts get invested, and we can spend a lot of time with these girls. And sadly, sometimes hurt happens. 

While people move, some change, and others just aren’t your cup of tea (and that’s okay), there are those who bring on friction, cause confusion, and may bring you to question if they are the “right” kind of friend.

So, how do we find and keep friends who truly are what the Bible calls "sweet friendships" (Proverbs 27:9)? You know, the sweet friend who doesn’t just “get you” but comes alongside you to love, encourage, and hold you accountable. Not only that but she leads you to grow in your faith and love the Lord with all your heart! 

Sis, no matter what season you are in, whether you are a single girlie or a mom of college kiddos, there are three types of friends you need (and need to be), starting right now!

1. The Mentor Friend

Think the Titus 2 woman. Every woman needs an older (and wiser) faith-filled woman to lean on. The one who has “been there and done that” and can share her pearls of wisdom all while encouraging you to be the woman, wife, and mother God is calling you to be. 

In Titus 2, 1 Timothy, and 2 Timothy, Paul is giving instructions to the church leaders on how to “train” a younger group of men and women. His message is still loud and clear today, as it is to insinuate that elderly God-fearing women in the church need to lay out an example for the next generation of women.

These lovely ladies can provide valuable insight on how to stay faithful, be of sober-mind, and remain steadfast under trials while showing characteristics of dignity, self-resect, and godly submission in every aspect of our lives.

Who wouldn’t want a friend like this? Better yet, who wouldn’t want to be this kind of friend to another?

As faithful women, we are all called to seek wise counsel in the form of a mentor, as well as be mentors, especially within the Body of Christ (1 Timothy 4:12, 2 Timothy 2:2). As we seek to hold one another up in Christ, with a mindset to shape the next generation, we have the ability to gain some of the sweetest friendships we will ever know all while growing more and more like Christ. 

2. The Memory-Maker Friend

Oh, the simply sweet memory-maker friend. As the name implies, a memory-making friend is the one you meet up with and “make memories.” This is your peer, the one who is in the thick of the season you are in, right beside you, cheering you on as if also trying to motivate herself (1 Thessalonians 5:11). You can laugh, cry, scream, vent, and overshare with this girl. She gets it because she is living it too!

Text this girl to meet at the park in five minutes, she’s there. Chat on the phone in the closet during nap time, she’ll listen. She’s got your back and you’ve got hers. You can go out to the movies and giggle over the cheesy plot or get away for a weekend and have the time of your life. This friend is pretty amazing!

The truth is that God created us to be relational beings and to be able to do this life together in a relatable and special way. He made friendship for us to commune and fellowship, so when we get together with these dear friends, we reap the benefits tenfold (1 John 1:7, Acts 2:42). Praise God for that!

That said, these friendships must be built on mutual trust and respect, otherwise tension can ensue, and negative feelings can unravel, creating devastating consequences (Proverbs 16:28). While these friends sadly can come and go in and out of our lives for various reasons, we must treasure the time we have with these dear sisters. All in all, just be the kind of friend you seek and treat these beauties like the real gems that they truly are (Luke 6:31)!

3. The Meaningful Friend

This is the well-meaning friend who ever so sweetly tells it like it is. This friend will see your blind spots and be sure to let you know. However, behind her words is a heart of pure gold as she strives to serve and love others through servanthood.

Need a meal after the new little bundle arrives, she’s got you covered. Have a prayer request, she’s on it! She’ll basically be the one to drop everything she is doing and graciously serve you with an open mind and soft heart. She’s there, always dependable, and her love for Jesus is outwardly evident. 

A meaningful friend will encourage you by using her own gifts and talents all while supporting and pointing out your beautiful gifts, talents, and attributes. In other words, she wants you to be the best version of yourself and deeply cares about your heart. What a rare thing these days!

Meanwhile, the most beautiful thing about this friend is her ability to use compassion as a base to develop a relationship. She is quick to show vulnerability, invests time and energy, and is genuine in her approach. This friend is simply lovely inside and out and is intentional, often befriending the lonely and lost.

So, what type of friends are in your life? Better yet, what type of friend are you?

A Prayer for Your Friendship

Lord, thank you for the gift of friendship. Help us look to You and model the example in which You lay out for us in Your Word on how to be a good friend. We want to be a friend who is trustworthy and shows respect and honor to our fellow sisters in Christ. Allow us to find wise friends to learn and grow from while also sharing wisdom when prompted. Give us those dear friends to make memories with and help us be meaningful friends who choose to see the needs of others, serving them with a heart of compassion. We are so thankful that you created us for fellowship and that we can come to You first with a raw and real heart, sharing what we need. Give us hearts to be the kind of friend You want and need us to be. Amen.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Lyndon Stratford

Alicia Searl is a devotional author, blogger, and speaker that is passionate about pouring out her heart and pointing ladies of all ages back to Jesus. She has an education background and master’s in literacy.  Her favorite people call her Mom, which is why much of her time is spent cheering them on at a softball game or dance class. She is married to her heartthrob (a tall, spiky-haired blond) who can whip up a mean latte. She sips that goodness while writing her heart on a page while her puppy licks her feet. Visit her website at aliciasearl.com and connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.