Can I Be Happy as a Single Christian?
- Vivian Bricker Contributing Writer
- Published Feb 05, 2024
There are disagreements within the Christian community over the matter of which is better—being married or being single. The Bible tells us that each is a good option (1 Corinthians 7:1-40). Those who are married should not condemn those who are not married, and those who are single should not condemn those who are married. With that being said, many individuals are still concerned if they can be happy as single Christians. While it is true the Bible says both are good, holy, and pleasing to the Lord, there is still the question of whether a Christian can be happy if they never get married.
More Time in Undivided Devotion to the Lord
If you are a single Christian, know that this gives you the opportunity to be completely devoted to the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). Being completely devoted to the Lord is a beautiful thing because it means you have your eyes fully set upon Christ. This will allow you to grow and mature in your faith in ways that others cannot. Married couples are concerned about pleasing each other; however, single Christians are most concerned about serving the Lord.
Serving the Lord brings an individual much joy and happiness. By worshiping and serving the Lord, you are doing what God created you to do. There is a misnomer circulating the world that you are somehow less of a person if you are not married. This could not be further from the truth. The seminary I attended briefly taught this incorrect view and it left a lasting impact on individuals. If you have been told this or made to feel this way, know it is not true.
Being a single Christian does not make you any less of a person. You are completely loved and cherished by God. He says you are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-16). Nowhere in the Bible are we told that marriage is superior to singleness. While it is true God says that it is not good for man to be alone, a single Christian is never really alone. There are many other trusted Christian individuals one can lean on and receive help from in their time of need.
Leaning on Other Single Friends
This is why it is important for you to lean on other single Christian friends when you are feeling down. This is not to say all single Christians feel this way because many do not. Singleness is a gift and something that should be cherished; however, it is not unrealistic to say many Christians do not want to stay single forever. Remember the truth that whether this is a season of singleness or if you will stay single for your entire life, it is all working out for your good (Romans 8:28).
This can be hard for the single Christian woman who sees all of her friends getting married while she hasn’t ever dated or for the single Christian man who feels as though there is something wrong with him whenever he asks a woman out on a date and the woman says no. If you are going through one of these things, know that singleness is nothing to be ashamed of. You might feel like the odd one out, but remember the truth that God doesn't make mistakes, and you will be able to have a more devoted relationship with Him through your singleness.
Talking with your single Christian friends can also help if you have a strong desire to date or get married. They will be able to help you process these feelings and desires. It would be especially helpful if these individuals were older Christians who are seasoned in knowing what it means to be single and committed to someone. By talking to them, you will be able to see the joy in their eyes and feel the happiness that they radiate, whether married or not.
Your Worth Is Not Tied to Your Relationship Status
It is also worthwhile to mention that to be happy as a single Christian, you have to stop tying your worth to your relationship status. It doesn’t matter if you are single or married—you are seen as beloved in the eyes of God. God does not think more highly of people who are married compared to those who are single and vice versa. The idea that your worth is tied to your relationship status comes from unbiblical teachings.
Your worth is found in Christ alone. This is reason enough to rejoice. You do not have to prove yourself to anyone nor do you have to explain yourself to anyone. As a single Christian, you are 100% worthy. You are worthy because of Jesus. In the same way, married couples are 100% worthy because of Jesus. A person’s worth is not tied to their relationship status, but rather, it is found in Christ.
Joy in Singleness
With all of these facts in mind, there is no reason not to be happy as a single Christian. Just because you are single does not mean you are missing out on anything. There is a beauty in singleness and a blessing to behold. You will be able to spend devoted time with the Lord and allow Him to lead every step of your life. Do not let others look down on you or view you as “incomplete” if you are not married. You are complete in Christ just as you are.
Whether you are single for a few years before God brings the right person into your life or you are single for the rest of your life, know that there is nothing wrong with singleness. The idea that there is something “bad” or “wrong” with being single doesn't come from God. Instead, it comes from the idea that everyone has to be married. Not every individual Christian will get married in their lifetime, and that is okay.
There will be many single Christians who never marry, and we need to normalize it. It is completely okay and biblical to remain unmarried. You could choose to remain single because you want to devote yourself to serving God, or you could find yourself to be single because this is what God has planned for your life. The important thing to remember is that you are worthy, loved, and cherished by God. Even if you may never marry does not mean you will be miserable.
Consider this: many people who are married are miserable. Their spouses leave them, cheat on them, or are abusive to them. As we can see, a life of singleness is nothing to be afraid of. Both singleness and marriage pose their own problems. Regardless, by being single, your entire focus is on the Lord, and He will never leave.
Marriage is difficult, and it is not for every person. Films, television shows, and music all try to make it out to be a walk in the park, but it isn’t. If you ask any married couple, they probably have their own issues. Just because someone is married doesn’t mean they are happy all the time. In the same way, just because you are single doesn't mean you will be miserable all the time. Within marriage and singleness, there will both be times of despair and happiness.
Therefore, yes, you can be happy as a single Christian. There is nothing wrong with being a single Christian. You will be able to serve God more fully and faithfully. Being single is a gift and nothing to be ashamed of. There will be times of sorrow, grief, and despair, but there will also be times of happiness, joy, and smiles. The same goes for married individuals. As we can see, you can be happy whether you are married or single—it’s all about focusing on Jesus.
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