How to Avoid the Winter Blues of Singleness
Seasons are different times of the year when the atmosphere experiences several changes in preparation for the next season. In nature, there are four seasons that we are all too familiar with. Each represents the end of something old and the beginning of something new. They are marked with specific weather conditions we look forward to and others we may desire to avoid. Each has specific celebrations communities participate in that bring everyone together in sorrow or celebration. With every season, God shows us how each season is connected and why changes in seasons are necessary. Moreover, each season represents a unique time in nature, showing us the process by which each season develops through planting, tilling, harvesting, growth, and rest.
It is evident that God intentionally and distinctly created each season for a continuous cycle of growth and renewal that we should pattern our lives after. Singleness is often looked upon as a linear season of life simply because the primary focus for many is linear, meaning get married. However, just as nature experiences seasons, so do singles. Many dwell in the spring, summer, and autumn seasons of singleness, where the focus is dating, fellowship, personal development, and times of harvest for themselves in different ways. However, there are a number of singles who don't spend much time dwelling in the winter season of their singleness. This is because, for most singles, it typically represents a negative shift in their atmosphere.
The end of a loving relationship, a period of healing from a broken heart, or a transition into a period of desperation for a romantic relationship. However, many singles often fail to realize that their winter season of singleness is about rest and restoration. Every year during the winter season, nature transitions into a period of stillness while recovering. Nature opens up in many ways in spring, summer, and autumn. Ground breaking, tree branches sprouting leaves, soil tilling during harvest. While all of this is a part of nature's process, to open up or be opened in any way reveals a special type of vulnerability that requires space for growth and rest. The winter represents a time of stillness, comfort, and, yes, rest.
Singles, if you have a negative point of view regarding your singleness during the winter season, it's time to change that narrative and learn how to rest and restore yourself and your singleness during this season. Here's how.
Rest and Restore in the Winter of Your Singleness
Pray without ceasing.
In any season, you must pray without ceasing, humbly asking God to restore your mind, body, and spirit during your single winter season. Your prayers can consist of requests to rest and disconnect from day-to-day stress. They can consist of prayers to restore trust and to rest in God's goodness. As you pray during this season, thank God for bringing you to a state of rest and restoration.
Take time away from dating.
For many singles, dating with the intent of marriage or companionship is the primary focus for every season of singleness. However, during the winter season, singles take some time to step away from dating intentionally. Meeting new potential mates, blind dates, rekindling old flames, or spending time on dating apps should be avoided at all costs during this time to avoid dating fatigue, so you can reflect and make changes to your dating patterns, but most importantly so you can calm and restore your emotions.
Rest in the Word of God.
Resting in the Word of God is one of the best ways to restore your identity in Christ and in singleness. Create a vision board of your favorite Scriptures that affirm God's love for you as His Divine Creation. Take some time to study and meditate on them at the beginning and end of your day, and allow them to become a part of your mind, body, and spirit.
Fast from social media.
Social media has shifted the meaning of socializing. While it's useful for keeping in touch with family and friends, it can also be harmful to one's mental health. During your time of rest, unplug from social media for short periods of time until you can release it for longer periods. Remove social apps from your devices and replace them with mindful apps that are good for your spirit.
Engage in creative rest.
There are so many ways to rest. Of course, the first thing that comes to mind is everyone's favorite: sleep. However, during your winter season, find creative ways to take your mind off of your relationship status other than to sleep your thoughts away. You can journal your thoughts and feelings. Listen to music. Read relaxing books, or create a space in your home that is designated specifically for rest and restoration. No matter what you do, be sure your creative rest quiets your mind, body, and spirit as you see fit.
Schedule quiet time with God.
This is so important. Quiet time with God is something every believer must do for themselves. It is essential to building their relationship with God, and it quiets the spirit. During your rest, set a time to have quiet time with God daily. This is a time when you can meditate on Scripture, pray, take in daily devotionals, or listen to your favorite praise and worship songs. Lastly, you can quiet your mind to hear God's voice.
Establish healthy boundaries.
While you're in a state of rest and restoration, make sure you have set healthy boundaries to ensure your time of rest is about meeting your needs. The best way to do this is to assess your needs, intentionally plan your reset, and effectively communicate your boundaries. You can set time frames to take phone calls, limit social media interactions, or schedule intentional solo activities that bring you joy. Whatever you decide to do, ensure it's within your boundaries.
Beat negative thinking patterns about your singleness.
Take some time to learn to rest your old thoughts of singleness and restore your mind to think about it as the gift God created it to be. This can begin with you taking inventory of your old thoughts, reflecting on how they came to be, and taking practical steps to change them. This can start as a monthly practice; as time continues, it can become a daily habit. Putting old thoughts to rest and renewing your mind with new ones about singleness is one of the best ways to rest and restore your singleness.
Singles, during the winter season of your singleness, your minds, bodies, and spirits should be in a state of rest and restoration. Following the steps listed will not only help you gain a new perspective on singleness and allow you to rest, but it will also help you avoid the winter blues of singleness. Yes, there is such a thing as the winter blues of singleness that can occur at any time in a single believer's life. However, if you are intentional with your plan of rest and restoration, you will not only be ready to blossom, but you will also avoid the winter blues.
Avoiding the Winter Blues of Singleness
If you don't know where to begin avoiding the winter blues of singleness, look at the list below.
-Plan fun activities with your family and friends.
-Plan solo, fun activities.
-Manage your stress
-Pray often.
-Create a Winter Wonder Board filled with goals, Scriptures, and positive affirmations.
Singleness is not a linear time of life. It is filled with seasons that change with every breath God allows us to take. Singles, during the season when it seems as though you're all alone, take some time to rest and embrace the season; restore yourself as God intended. Every season of your singleness is a blessing, but it's up to you to embrace them as such.
Originally published January 06, 2025.
