How to Find Biblical Joy When Your Heart Is Broken

"God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better. A broken heart is a reminder of our only source of power." Elisabeth Elliot 

If you are alive, you have more than likely experienced rejection, betrayal, or heartbreak. It doesn't take long for that to happen, does it? It can begin in early childhood, follow you through middle and high school, and happen throughout your adult life. You might experience a friend walking away from your relationship without explanation, or someone you loved did not feel towards you in the same way. Maybe someone has given you the "silent treatment" or influenced others negatively, and they believe something about you that is not true. The heartache that comes with any of these scenarios is intense and can feel as if your heart is breaking. I've faced my own times of heartbreak, and I know that it can feel overwhelming and leave you wondering if you will ever get over the pain. It can make you wonder if you ever want to trust again. Unfortunately, when we open ourselves up to one of God's greatest gifts, loving another person, we also put ourselves at risk. When we love, we risk being hurt because there is always a possibility of eventual loss. We can't have one without the other. 

Verses to Help You When Your Heart Is Broken 

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

The Lord is near. The Lord saves. Those realities won't take the pain of heartbreak away, but they will comfort you when you realize you aren't alone in it. God sees what is happening and wants us to pour out our hearts to him. He wants to pull you onto his lap and comfort you, as a Father does for his own child. If you are hurt, he is hurting too. He wants to comfort you.

Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

I have often said that I don't know how people make it through this life without a relationship with God. It is my relationship with God that keeps me persevering in this life. It gives me the strength to keep going when everything inside me wants to quit. He truly wants to be the strength of your heart and your portion (your security and your hope) forever.

Revelation 2:14 "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

This verse gives us hope that our heartbreak will not last forever. Yes, it will fade while we are still living, but we have a greater hope! We know there is a day coming when there will be no more tears, death, mourning, crying, pain, or heartbreak. All those things will have passed away. We can persevere, even when our heart is breaking because we know there is an end and that he will walk us through it all until we reach eternity.

What Good Comes When Your Heart Is Broken 

• What good did the person bring to the table? You can reflect on the lost relationship and ask God to show you the good that was there, what you learned from the season you spent with that person, and what you can take away from the relationship that might benefit you in the future. You might even end up feeling grateful that this person was in your life because of the positive things they brought with them or the things you learned.
• Grow from the experience. As you process your heartbreak, in light of Scripture, you can get to the other side with a stronger faith and a knowledge that God is able to heal your heart and that he enables you to move forward in hope, even when there are times that you feel you may never get over the heartbreak. You can then use your heartbreak experience to better understand another person's suffering, point them to God, and share all that God did for you during your heartbreak.
• Learn from the heartbreak. Ask God to show you what he wants you to learn from the ended relationship. What good things did you experience and learn from? What negative things did you experience and learn from? Was there some weakness in your character revealed when the relationship ended? How will it impact your future relationships? You can come away from this experience a stronger, more sensitive to the Spirit person and with a hope that you will be better equipped to be used by God in whatever relationships he brings to you in the future. 

Find Biblical Joy by Focusing on God 

Thank Him for Who He Is

Father, thank you for being Yahweh-Rapha, "The Lord Who Heals." You heal both body and soul and comfort and heal my heart when it breaks. You tell me you understand because you have also had your heart broken. You hold me up, and you make me new. You use all that I go through for my good and your glory. Thank you. 

Thank Him for His Faithfulness

Father, thank you for being a faithful God. I am so thankful that you are there, and I can count on you to walk me through even the hardest of times and that you will bring healing to my heart. Thank you that I now have something else to share with others about your faithfulness. Please use my experience to help another member of your body to know you better and to be comforted in their season of heartbreak. 

Thank Him for His Promises

Father, thank you for your promises that inform me of who you are and all you have for me here and in eternity. Those promises enable me to persevere, knowing there is healing and rejoicing in my future. Thank you for your promise that tells me that there will be a day when there will be no more tears or pain. No more heartbreak! 

Thank Him for His Provisions

Thank you for providing me with friendships and enabling me to love others. Even when those relationships don't turn out how I wish they would have, I know you are in control. Help me to learn all that you want me to learn from this situation. And enable me to praise you for all you are doing in and through me because of it. Thank you that, even when my heart is breaking, you provide the strength I need to not give up and be open to future relationships.

To learn more about how to choose biblical joy, check out my book “Everyday Prayers for Joy”! 

For weekly encouragement on how to choose biblical joy in all circumstances, subscribe to “Choose Biblical Joy Today”

This article is part of a series by Gina Smith on biblical joy. Here are more of her articles:

How to Find Biblical Joy When You Battle Depression

Finding Biblical Joy in Loneliness

How to Find Biblical Joy When Life Doesn’t Look the Way You Thought it Would

How to Find Biblical Joy When the Church Disappoints You

How to Find Biblical Joy When God Does Not Provide the Way You Want Him To