How to Know Who to Have in Your Inner Circle

At first thought, an inner circle can be considered those you consider to be top of your list as friends, but an inner circle is an integral part of life that impacts more than you realize. Those you include in such a sacred place ought to be chosen with good discernment, wisdom, and consideration. Knowing who to reserve a seat for at your table can help or hinder much in your life, so choose wisely.

Goals, Ethics, and Morals

Having a wide range of friends with differing opinions, outlooks, and views can be beneficial and a gift when you are given a different perspective on issues. Still, ensuring that all those in your inner circle are of good character is vital. 1 Corinthians 15:33 offers, "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." Bad company is rooted in those who are not seeking after the heart of the Lord; rather, they are running after the ways of the world or Satan. It is vital to use good discernment when choosing your inner circle, and asking God for His clarity regarding character is key. God sees man's heart far more than we can see, so ask God to help the character be evident and known by your spirit. 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, "But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."

This is why inviting God into giving you a proper understanding of those around you must be done so that the hidden and inner things you do not see can be brought forward and given solely by His Holy Spirit. Pay attention to how your friends handle situations in their own lives, how they operate even in the small things, and if their integrity is that of someone of good character. This does not mean said person is to be held to a standard of perfection, but it is to say that the level at which you allow them in your inner world is with clarity that they earnestly seek to do what is right even when no one is watching. Remember, this goes beyond friends; it can extend to romantic relationships as well. Paul touches on this in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?" This is why it is not just a good idea but necessary to ask God if someone (whether a friend or more) is for you or not.

They Are for You

Choosing friends who earnestly are for you in this life is important. Someone being for you has a double meaning in that they are genuinely rooting for you, supporting you as a person, and hoping to see your success, but it also means that they are someone God has intended for you in your life. When it comes to relationships, God will often bring someone in for a reason or a season, and that is why we must allow all relationships in our lives to be surrendered to His hand and guidance. Someone who has walked with you in your life for several years may be seated further down the table, and you question why this is, but know God often moves people for a purpose in season. Connect with God and be intentional in each and every one of these relationships so that you are not clenching on to something He does not want you to, or that you are not letting someone slip away that He has more in the future for you to journey with them. Also, note if those around you lift you up, speak life into you, and offer you rebuke in love. Psalm 141:5 reminds us that the rebuke of a righteous man is a gift, "Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don't let me refuse it."

Of course, we hope that such rebuke will be given with consideration and in a kind way, but those who are for you will not enable you to continue on a bad path. Those who are for you will offer godly rebuke when they feel necessary, which is something to consider. Ask God to make it clear who He has for you in your life for this season; it may surprise you.

Ask God for His Best

God wants the best for His children, but at times we have not because we ask not. Sincerely ask the Lord to surround you with friends and companions who are of His heart for you in this season. Be sure to check in with Him periodically that you are investing in the right people, relationships, and seeking out the counsel of those He would desire. Proverbs 13:20 reminds us, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm." We should seek wisdom in this world so that we may live a good life, not a life that does not come without trial or storm, but one where such storms are navigated well. God often uses His children to encourage, offer wisdom, or assist in navigating life's storms and sunny days, and that is why it is imperative that those who you surround yourself with are those with the caliber of wisdom, good discernment, and integrity. Ask God who He intends and who His best is, and be ready for Him to set the table before you with such friends.

A common phrase that often is tossed around regarding inner circles is, "Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future." It means that your friends have more of an impact than you realize on your life. If you are surrounded by those who will encourage you in ways counter to God's ways, you could find yourself tempted to run after the ways of the world, but if you are surrounded by those who are earnestly seeking after God and have your best in mind, you will have a different experience. You may experience a loving rebuke that can sting, but in time you may find that ultimately God is using them as a mouthpiece for Him to help you in your time of decision. Remember that you should obey God's command to you first and foremost but consider that He often uses His children to speak His heart, message, or Word as well. Let God bring you an inner circle that is of value, of His heart, and one that will serve you well in due time.

Cally Logan is an author and US History teacher from Richmond, Virginia. Her works have been featured on "The 700 Club Interactive," “Jesus Calling Blog,” and “Coffee and Bible Time,” among several notable outlets. She served as a mentor for young women for several years and enjoys challenging women to develop deeper relationships with God and to live fearlessly and authentically. She received her B.A. Degree from Regent University. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time in nature, having genuine chats over coffee, and woodworking. Her new book, The Wallflower That Bloomed, is available everywhere now. Connect with Cally: @CallyLogan Instagram CallyLogan.com