Patiently and Impatiently Waiting for Love: Why Both Are Okay
- Liz Lampkin Contributing Writer
- Published Aug 03, 2023
Dating and waiting on the one God has created for you to spend the remainder of your natural born days with is the running theme for singles everywhere. Singles in and out of the church constantly hear that it's best to wait on God when anticipating meeting the love of their lives. Not only do they hear that it's best to wait on God, but singles are advised to wait in so many ways. Position yourself to be found, join Christian dating apps, journal, don't wait to be in a relationship to achieve your goals, and much more. While these bits of knowledge and others are sound advice, doing these and other productive things to fill the days of singleness is easier said than done. Many singles grapple with this season of their lives because of what they see around them or from personal experience with relationships that did not end the way they expected. This causes them to become impatient with the process of waiting for their soulmate. For some, it may even cause them to question if they are worthy or capable of having a soul mate. It can also bring doubt about whether God hears their prayers or knows the desires of their hearts.
A waiting heart can become weary and impatient when it comes to matters of the heart, which is completely normal. Singles are often told how to wait and why it's important. However, the periods of an impatient heart often go unaddressed, which shouldn't be so. Impatience is a feeling that comes about for many reasons. Many believe that it is rooted in frustration. While this is often true, some feelings or experiences can stem from anticipating something positive happening. If you are a single Christian and you are patiently and impatiently waiting on the one God has for you, it's important to understand that your feelings of impatience are valid. Here's why.
Impatience causes you to move and take action toward something you desire. While it brings about an array of what are known as negative emotions, it can allow those emotions to manifest. Still, it's up to you to decide how they will display, negatively or positively. It's important to acknowledge those feelings in the moment rather than suppress them. Here's three ways how:
1. When you begin to feel anxious or impatient, take some time to find out why.
You can do this by going to a quiet place and asking yourself why you are so anxious/impatient at this moment. What is causing you to feel this way? Take some time to genuinely think about what's causing your impatience. Try your best to get to the root of your impatience. Be honest with yourself and take steps toward working on the issue that's causing you to
2. Pray for understanding and guidance through these moments.
Ask God to reveal the root of your impatience to you. Listen to what is revealed to you and begin taking steps towards finding peace.
3. Read, study, and meditate on Scriptures that discuss the blessings of being patient.
This will ease your mind and spirit when feelings of impatience arise.
Many times singles become anxious, frustrated, or lonely because of their relationship status. They mask those feelings of impatience and start taking desperate measures to fulfill those needs because they failed to acknowledge and work on them. Being impatient has its ups and downs, as everything in life does. While it may not seem like it, exercising and acknowledging your impatience can help you during your waiting time. Not only this, but it's important to view your moments of impatience positively because of the benefits of doing so.
1. Impatience can motivate you to go out and engage in new experiences, which brings about opportunities to meet new people.
Many times singles get stuck in the box of partaking in the same activities they deem as things Christians do. While this is okay, stepping out of your Christian comfort zone, engaging in new activities, and meeting new people is also okay.
2. Impatience can help you discover your love language as a single individual.
As you partake in dating, you learn about your personal needs and desires for yourself, your lifelong partner, and the ideal relationship you will have together. As the relationships you engage in come and go, they are both hurtful and helpful. While this cycle becomes tiresome, it's essential to go through each stage of beginnings and endings of relationships to learn what mistakes you made, discover what went wrong and right, and also know what you want.
3. Impatience forces you to create new goals for your single life.
Often, singles spend most of their lives searching, preparing for, or desiring marriage. While there is nothing wrong with this, there is more to the single life than wanting marriage. When this desire is delayed, that's where impatience kicks in. When this happens, it's important to begin creating new goals for your season of singleness. You can begin this journey by taking some time each day to decide how you want to live each aspect of your life as an unmarried individual. If your desire is a relationship, then actively date. If you desire to advance in your career, begin taking the proper steps to do so. Whatever you want your single life to look like, use your moments of impatience to fuel your desires into wanting something different.
4. Impatience can provide a sense of hope.
When you are impatient, that means you are anticipating something. Anticipation creates a sense of urgency, bringing about hope and confident expectations of what God has for you. When you are hopeful, you look forward to what is on the horizon. Hope doesn't cause you to look back. It helps you prepare differently for what's to come. And believe it or not, hope can stem from impatience.
5. Impatience can teach you to learn how to wait differently.
Many times believers think that waiting on God to bless them with their mate looks a certain way. However, waiting patiently and impatiently can look many different ways as long as the process makes you a better person for God and His purpose for your life. Waiting doesn't necessarily mean immersing yourself in "church work," but it means discovering your Spiritual Gifts and using them in and out of the church. Waiting doesn't mean limiting yourself to certain people, places, or things. It's also okay to change up the things you do while you wait. Waiting looks different for everyone. However, it's up to you to decide what your wait time will look like.
It's often said that patience is a virtue, which means that it is a blessing to remain calm in all things and that there is a blessing on the other side. While this is true, we have to realize that there are blessings in being impatient as well. After all, we couldn't understand the value of patience without impatience.
