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The Abundant Christian Single Life: More Than Biding Your Time
- Cally Logan Author of The Wallflower That Bloomed
- Updated Mar 01, 2019
The gift of singleness more often than not has been one that many have wanted to return. The modern world is full of vanities that make being in a relationship seem like the be all end all of earthly joys. From Instagram to Valentine’s Day ads, it can seem like not being in a relationship is almost like an illness or that there is something wrong if you are not in a relationship. Little value or concern is even thought upon that perhaps God has something He is doing in a season of singleness, and that an abundant life is attainable without a spouse.
There Is a Season for All Things
Being single is not a problem, and it is certainly not a season meant to spend in vain. Ecclesiastes 3 shares that, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” God has a purpose and a reason for each and every season-including a season of singleness. This season is meant for developing a deeper foundation in your relationship with God, without distraction. It is also a season in which to work to produce fruit of an abundant life. Singleness is more than merely biding time until marriage.
Being intentional is a way of life. It puts the One you serve first, and it makes an effort to in every way mold your life to focus on Christ, with every action. James 5:12 calls to, “let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no” This means intentionally living in such a way that you make the choice to let the major and minor decisions of your life reflect and honor God in every way. Living with intention will always yield abundant fruit, for even if we make mistakes God is working with that spirit, that heart, and those intentions to bless the Kingdom, and in turn He will bless you. James 5:16 shares, “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” God is able to look past our masks, look past the walls we put up, and look into the deep intentions of our spirits. When we live in such an intentional way as to bless Him, He supplies where we lack, He guides, He blesses. Fostering an intentional relationship with the Lord during a single season is vital. The seeds planted during a single season will only grow for a harvest later in life, single or married.
Growing Roots before Producing Fruit
The root determines the fruit; the deeper the root, the more abundant the fruit will be. Jesus speaks of it in the Parable of the Scattering Seeds in Matthew 13, “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died. Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”
The seeds with the deep roots produced an exponential crop. This is what waiting and enduring will also do when intentionally done right. When you intentionally seek to wait actively, the roots will deepen and the fruit will be far more abundant. While planting the seed for my garden last year I was reminded of a story a dear friend shared with me. She told how last year she planted some seeds, making sure they weren't too close to the surface and had plenty of opportunity for sun and water. Week after week, nothing sprouted up. She kept tending to it every day with sun and water, but it seemed to no avail. One day she had the thought to brush some of the dirt when she saw that the plant had actually been growing the entire time. Not only had it been growing, but its roots went very, very deep. The plant didn't show on the surface, but the roots were ensuring that it would last for years to come. It had such deep roots that even the strongest of storms would not overtake the plant. It's the same way with our lives, we may pray about something for even years on end and feel we have nothing on the outside to show for it, but take into consideration that God is planting some seed and growing roots. He is growing the roots in the situation, and He is growing your roots in Him.
Prayer Is the Gateway to God
Prayer is the strongest gateway into a deeper relationship with God. Because of what Christ did on the cross, we can enter into prayer and sit at the throne in communication to the Almighty. You can dive into the Word and come to see more of His faithfulness and character throughout every stitch of the Scriptures. Moreover, you can submit your will to Him. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” What this means is that when you submit, delight, and allow Him to take over your heart something revolutionary happens. The Holy Spirit begins to move in you, stretch you, do heart surgery in you to bring your will into His will. He is a faithful and loving God Who wants the best for you, and in time will bring His will to pass in your life, and because of you letting Him have that control in your heart, His will and your desires align in perfect harmony. What you will come to find in this process is that God is the ultimate glory and joy of our souls, not another person, and He is worth more than anyone or anything. After that, a spouse would merely be icing on the cake. Also remember that God always rewards faithfulness and character, just not always in our timing, so don’t fret if He has you waiting.
This time is can be used to bless others. Your life and impact matters and there is always something or someone you can have an influence on. Get involved in your church, or working with youth. Young girls especially are in desperate need of good Christian role models who will pour into them and be a mature person they can rely on. Reflecting a life of patience and trust in God will encourage those around you as well, you never know who is watching or observing and how you can have an impact on how they choose to live out their own lives. Use this time to pour into others, knowing the work you do will only plant seeds that blossom in time.
Cultivating your career or profession is important. Dreams and ambitions should be chased after, most truly if God is fueling that desire. It is not selfish or wrong to have a successful career, if God is calling you to the workforce, it is for His glory and your responsibility to carry it out well.
Community Is a Key Factor of an Abundant Life
This is true for singles arguably more than alone. A group of friends fosters a team of individuals to lean on, grow with, and support one another in life. This lives out the unity of the body of Christ and provides a support system for the storms of life.
A vital and beautiful aspect of this time is the opportunity to pray for your future spouse. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you specific aspects to pray for him or her. You will marry a flawed human who needs Christ just as much as you, and truly the greatest gift you can give him or her now is interceding in prayer for your future love. Pray that God deepens a relationship with Him, and molds your future spouse into a strong Christian leader. Pray God moves in them so that they will love you as Christ loves the church. Pray for their heart, mind, soul, and purity. Even write letters or write out prayers to share one day that in the time leading up to your two souls connecting, they were already on your heart, in your mind, and in your prayers.
Living an abundant life does not require a spouse, though a spouse is desired by many. God has mapped each day to have something to praise for. Cultivating and tending to the place in which you are planted will bless the glorious garden being grown of your life.
Related article: What Does the Bible Say about Dating?
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