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Why Do We Not Feel ‘Good Enough’?
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- Published Aug 22, 2024
Not feeling good enough is a common feeling we can experience throughout our lives. With the major influence of social media, diet culture, and an emphasis placed on success, it is all too common to feel not good enough.
If you have struggled with feelings of not feeling good enough, first, know that you are not alone, and second, know you are enough because of Christ. Colossians 2:10 tells us this truth, “and in Christ, you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority.”
Feelings and Facts
We can often misinterpret our feelings as being facts. Feelings are not the same as facts. Facts are things we know to be true. Feelings can waver and change. We should not place all of our energy into feelings because they can change, and often, they are false feelings.
In other words, just because we have a feeling doesn’t make it true, such as feeling not good enough. You are enough because Christ is enough.
Whenever our feelings try to tell us that we are not good enough, we need to remind ourselves of the truth in the Bible — we are given fullness in Christ (Colossians 2:10).
Since we are given fullness in Christ, we are good enough. This can be hard to accept, but it’s the truth. We cannot rely solely on our feelings and emotions. We have to meditate on the truth of what God says in the Bible — we are enough in Christ.
Remind yourself of this vital truth each day. Write Colossians 2:10 in places you can easily see, such as your mirror, on the door, or in your Bible. By consistently reminding yourself of this truth, the more you will accept it in your heart.
I have personally struggled with not feeling good enough, and I continue to struggle with these feelings daily. Simply because you are struggling doesn’t mean you have failed in any way.
Struggling shows you are trying. Just keep trying and meditating on the truths of the Bible. Whenever you feel the emotions are becoming overwhelming, pour your heart out to God and tell Him how you feel. He will lift you up and hold you in the presence of His love.
Feeling not good enough and bad about ourselves can lead to a variety of problems, such as anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.
As someone who struggles with all three of these illnesses, I cannot encourage you more to seek out your worth in Christ and remind yourself daily of His great love for you.
While not feeling good enough is not the ultimate cause of various mental illnesses, it can be a catalyst for these illnesses to start growing.
Eating disorders especially thrive off feeling not good enough. In the attempt to feel good enough, eating disorders cause you to starve, restrict, and over-exercise. Even if one loses weight and gets smaller, it is never good enough.
The eating disorder will ensure that you never feel good enough. A distorted perception and mind cause us, as individuals, to see ourselves differently from what we truly are. This is better known as body dysmorphia.
The best way to explain body dysmorphia is that those with body dysmorphia see their bodies in a distorted way rather than what they truly look like. It is like seeing green when everyone else sees red.
Feeling not good enough affects us in different ways, yet none of us enjoy feeling not good enough. In order to feel better about ourselves, many of us can go to extreme measures.
You Are Good Enough
As a fellow Christian and a friend, I urge you to know that you are good enough in Christ. No matter what people have said or what you have thought about yourself — you are good enough, you are loved, and you matter.
Many of us grew up in homes where we did not feel good enough. Often our parents can hold us to unattainable standards, which can make us feel not good enough. As the youngest of three girls, I was constantly being compared to my siblings.
Not as smart, not as pretty, and not as talented were always thoughts at the top of my mind. My sisters were much more talented in the arts than I was, though I always enjoyed playing instruments, drawing, and painting.
One of my older sisters is fantastic at playing the piano, yet I don’t have the same talent. During homeschooling, my sister and I used to learn, practice, and perform different piano pieces.
My sister did exceptionally well in each performance as she didn’t miss one note. I, on the other hand, was never the best at the piano.
No matter how hard I tried, I could never get it down to an art. Looking simply on the surface of things, my mom would praise my sister, while I was met with looks of disappointment. I had tried my best, but it wasn’t good enough.
Throughout childhood and my teen years, various events occurred that made me feel not good enough within my family. Maybe you felt the same way growing up, or maybe you feel the same way now. “Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not good enough” rings through our minds.
Even after leaving home and moving out, we can still be met with these feelings about ourselves. A simple scroll through social media is enough to send us into a tailspin of self-doubt and self-hate.
We scroll through social media and see models setting unreasonable goals, individuals who appear to have the “perfect” life, and random strangers going on summer-long vacations. All of this can make us feel bad about ourselves.
It’s important to remember that social media is simply a highlight reel. Individuals are not going to post the difficult times, the hard times, or the time they locked themselves out of the car. It is not good to weigh our reality against a perfectly planned-out, detailed post.
Each of our lives is beautiful, unique, and important to the Lord. You are enough because Christ is enough. Never doubt that truth for a second. God loves you, and you are His dearly loved child (John 3:16-17).
Despite the teachings of the world, you are enough in Christ. You don’t have to look a certain way, act a certain way, or make a certain amount of money in order to be good enough. You are already enough as you are.
God tells us we are all fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-26). He also created each of us in His image (Genesis 1:27). If you ever doubt your worth, remember your worth is in Christ. Let this truth encourage your heart and bring your soul peace.
What Does This Mean?
While it is normal to struggle with feelings of not being good enough, always try to remind yourself that you are enough and you are worthy because of Christ. Don’t measure yourself by any other standard or gauge.
The Bible tells us we are God’s chosen people. The Apostle Peter tells us, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9).
You are chosen and dearly loved by the Creator of the universe, and He says you are good enough.
In Christ, we are given forgiveness of sins, a relationship with Christ, and eternal life. With these sure promises, we can look forward to the day when all feelings of not feeling good enough will be eradicated.
For further reading:
What Does it Mean That We Are Worth More Than Sparrows?
Where Should Believers Find Their Self-Worth?
What Does the Bible Say about the Value of Men and Women?
Related: Listen to our FREE podcast, Get Your Brave On with Amanda Carroll! You can find all of our episodes at LifeAudio.com.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/PeopleImages
