Pastor Mike Todd Unveils '90-Day Rule' to Help Christians Date with Purpose
Mike Todd, pastor of Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, recently discussed his intentional dating framework, also known as "The 90-Day Rule," as a means to help couples form lasting connections and avoid unhealthy patterns.
"We keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result," Todd told RELEVANT. "That's literally the definition of insanity. So why not try something different?"
The 90-Day Rule was created by Todd and his wife, Natalie, as a means to help couples get to know each other in order to determine whether they would want to commit to a serious relationship, especially marriage.
"Take 90 days to just get to know each other — without pressure," he says. "You're not promising forever. You're not dragging your friends into it. You're just building a friendship and figuring out if this is someone you actually want to build with."
Todd stressed that waiting 90 days is not too long of a time for anyone who may be impatient.
"It's just three months," he laughs. "Less than a football season. If you're serious about having a relationship that honors God and protects your heart, that's not too much to ask."
The pastor also discussed the importance of couples being able to set boundaries with one another.
"When you put guardrails on your relationship, it's not because you're scared," he explains. "It's because you're trying to get somewhere on purpose — and without crashing on the way."
A final tip Todd recommends is the red flags that are typically ignored, including asking, "What are your biggest fears in a relationship?"
"Maybe it's the fear of being pressured physically. Maybe it's the fear of being lied to or not being treated like you're valuable," Todd says. "Whatever it is — put it on the table. It builds trust. It lets you protect each other's hearts. And it gives you accountability."
Although the plan isn't perfect, the 90-Day Rule is intended to provide clarification into the relationship.
"When you date on purpose, you don't just protect your body," he says. "You protect your heart, your future, your calling. And that changes everything."
Even if the relationship does not work out, Todd says there is a lesson to be learned rather than seeing it as a failure.
"You learned about yourself. You got some new tools. And you didn't trash your heart in the process," he says. "That's a win."
Photo Credit: ©Facebook/Ryan Visconti
Originally published April 08, 2025.
