Can You Speak Your Mate’s Language?

"I have been trying to make you see," exclaimed Judith to her husband Roy. I have run out of words and I am feeling totally unheard.

Judith needed Roy to allow her more participation in their financial life.  Roy wanted to take care of Judith and didn’t realize how excluded he had kept her; he only wanted to protect her from boring details. Judith needed to try a different tactic.

Judith decided to speak in a language familiar to Roy – Golf! “What if you were going to play 18 holes of golf and you had only been taught how to use a putting iron? You wanted to perfect your game and make it a source of enjoyment, but the golf pros wouldn’t teach you how to use any other club.” Roy said he would be very frustrated and angry.  Bingo!

(Matthew 22:1-2) Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son.’

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life, 90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and Twitter. Dr. Hawkins offers a free, 20 minute consultation, with requests sent to his email address at drdavid@marriagerecoverycenter.com. Also, remember his guarantee at The Marriage Recovery Center: 3 Days To A New Marriage, Guaranteed! He is also excited to continue offering his special eBook, A Love Life of Your Dreams free for you to download.

Originally published April 13, 2021.