Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Robin Weidner's new book, Secure in Heart: Overcoming Insecurity in a Woman’s Life (Discipleship Publications International, 2007).
When fears and doubts gnaw at your soul, you may feel like shrinking back from living the way God leads you to live. But when you understand who God is – and who you are in Him – you can find the security that will empower you to live a bold and fulfilling life.
Here’s how you can overcome insecurity:
Look in the right place.
Stop wasting time and energy looking for security from your money, your health, your husband or boyfriend, your friends, your job, your beauty, or anyone or anything else that’s not God Himself, who is the only true source of security. Recognize that you won’t find security by chasing it down through circumstances (such as by thinking that you’ll feel better about yourself once you just lose some weight, find a boyfriend, get a better job, buy a newer car, etc.). Understand that security can only be found in the peace God offers you through Jesus. Embrace your identity as God’s beloved child and be assured that, through your relationship with Jesus, you have all the power you need to do God’s will in every situation.
Discover God’s goodness to overcome perfectionism.
When you ask the question, “Am I enough?” realize that you are, thanks to God’s goodness that gives you grace when you fall short and empowers you to grow. Don’t compare yourself to other women, give into envy or jealousy, insist on following your own agenda rather than God’s good plans for you, take credit for your strengths instead of recognizing that they’re God-given gifts, or give up when you fail rather than relying on the confidence God wants to give you. You don’t have to earn God’s love; He already loves you completely and unconditionally. His favor is based on His mercy, not on your desire or efforts. He has already made it possible for you to do whatever He calls you to do, simply by trusting Him and relying on His strength working through you. Even when you can’t see Him, remember that God is always at work bringing good outcomes out of even the worst circumstances in your life. Every day, make time to thank God for specific ways He has helped you in the past and is helping you now. Trust Him to continue to act according to what’s best for you in the future. Instead of trying to force situations to work out the way you want, surrender frustrating situations to God, telling Him that you trust Him to work them out in the right way at the right time. Celebrate God’s goodness to you by praising Him and picking up or buying a special memento that commemorates a specific answered prayer.
Discover God as your rock to overcome self-reliance.
When you ask the question, “Who can I count on?” realize that you can always depend on God. Make decisions based on God’s faithfulness, rather than just your own strengths and weaknesses. Look beyond your own limited resources to God’s unlimited power to provide for you. Turn your worries into prayers by refusing to dwell on anxieties and choosing to pray about them instead. Make a habit of praying about your concerns as soon as they come into your mind. Don’t forge ahead with your own plans in situations where you don’t yet see what God is doing; wait for His guidance to become clear to you before acting. Listen to advice from faithful people you respect and trust. Read and meditate on God’s promises from Scripture that apply to the challenges you’re currently facing. Trust God to help you in every area of your life rather than withholding certain parts from Him. Thank God for the many ways He has delivered you in the past, and trust Him to continue to do so.
Discover God as your anchor to overcome dependence.
When you ask, “Will I be rescued?”, realize that God has already rescued you from sin and its consequences through Jesus’ work on the cross. Decide to tap into the power that God has already made available to you. Look to God to complete you – not another person. Instead of bemoaning frustrating circumstances, focus on the state of your heart, asking God to give you the internal peace that will fulfill you despite your circumstances. Consider what your life would look like without your relationship with Jesus, and let Him know how grateful you are for all He has done for you. Trust God’s strength to help you in your weakness. Make a daily habit of relying on God’s power instead of your own, so you can face whatever situations you encounter with confidence.
Discover God as your guide to overcome worldliness.
When you ask, “Will I be successful?” realize that you don’t need to worry about that when you follow where God leads you. The ultimate success is fulfilling God’s great purposes for your life, so make that your goal – whether or not other people happen to view you as successful. Each day, ask God to guide your decisions in every area of your life (from your relationships with family and friends to your career and volunteer work). Learn from your mistakes and failures so you can grow. Share your dreams with a few trusted friends, and ask them to pray with you about them. Be willing to let go of dreams that don’t align with God’s will for you, and to take the risks necessary to pursue the dreams God has placed in your heart. Remember that God’s view of success is far different from our culture’s view. True success isn’t about what you’ve accomplished or what you possess; it’s about the quality of your relationship with God through Jesus. As long as you’re doing your best to follow where God leads you, you’re successful.
Discover God as your guard to overcome self-protection.
When you ask, “Who will protect me?” realize that God is the only One who truly can protect you – and He will if you invite Him to do so. Don’t try to escape the reality of our fallen world through fantasies (like escaping into books or movies), by numbing yourself (such as by consuming alcohol or drugs), or through isolating yourself from meaningful relationships with other people. Instead, be honest about your struggles and willing to be vulnerable about them with God and other people you trust. Remember how God has answered your prayers in the past, and trust Him to continue to do so as you present your struggles to Him and ask Him to intervene. Every day, put on the full armor of God mentioned in the Bible – truth, righteousness, readiness, faith, salvation, and the Word of God – to guard against evil. Pray for your enemies and be willing to forgive, with God’s help. Remember that God will use even the worst circumstances in your life to accomplish good purposes if you trust Him.
Discover God as your advocate to overcome approval seeking.
When you ask, “What do others think of me?” realize that, no matter what they think, God loves you fully, just as you are. He cares about your deepest needs. He will uphold your cause. He sees who you really are, and He loves you anyway. Let go of anxiety over what other people think of you (from your appearance to your performance). Don’t compare yourself with others; embrace the unique person that God created you to be. Don’t let harsh judgment from other people bother you, because God’s opinion is the only one that ultimately matters. Pray for the courage you need to make decisions that please God, no matter how others might react. Give other people grace when you disagree with them, trusting God to judge them however He sees fit. Read Scripture passages about God’s love for you, and trust that all of His actions toward you are motivated by His great love.
Discover God as your comforter to overcome fears of being alone.
When you ask, “Will I be alone?” realize that God will never leave you or forsake you. Ask Him to help you be aware of His constant presence with you. Resist entering into a romantic relationship with the wrong person just because you don’t want to be alone. Don’t look to another person – whether a romantic partner, a close friend or a family member – to meet needs that only God can meet for you. Understand that you can be alone without being lonely. Whenever you feel lonely, pray about your feelings, and God will comfort you. Read comforting Scripture verses when you’re going through any type of struggle, and apply them to your situation. When you sense a void in your life, turn to God instead of romance or a co-dependent relationship to fill the void. Ask God to help you be sexually pure, and to build intimacy in healthy ways with Him and other people. Rest assured that God will always be there for you whenever you need Him.
Learn more from out articles on Ways to Handle Irrational Fear and Overcoming Anxiety
Adapted from Secure in Heart: Overcoming Insecurity in a Woman’s Life by Robin Weidner, copyright 2006 by Discipleship Publications International. Published by Discipleship Publications International, Waltham, Mass., http://www.dpibooks.org/.
Robin Weidner has spent the last several years writing full time for corporate clients. She came from a background ranging from full-time ministry to graphic design. Robin also serves as an inspirational speaker for Christian women’s groups and women business owners. She lives in the Chicago area with her husband of 25 years, Dave, and three children (all in their twenties). You can read more about Robin on her website at http://www.rwcopywriting.com/.