The human need for friendship is well-established both within Christianity and beyond. We all likely have experienced the desire to connect with others on a level of shared interests, mutual respect, and care.
At the age of ten, after a long day of moving, I found myself standing in my new, cluttered room, realizing the impact of the move. I could no longer walk to my friends' houses down the block and could barely see the neighbors' homes through the trees and land that separated us. The excitement of the move had obscured the difficulty of leaving my friends behind, who were now over four hours away. Even at ten, I felt a profound ache in my heart throughout that year, yearning for the connection I had with my old friends.
God created us with a need to share our lives with others. Leilani Mueller, in an article for Christianity Today’s Hermeneutics titled “True Friends Will Change You,” explains that God uses friendship “not just to change us, but to make us like him.” When we engage in shared interests with a friend, it offers an opportunity to grow and learn from one another. Even disagreements can be chances to expand our perspectives within a relationship based on respect, care, and love.
The Bible says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). In a Christian context, God gifts us with friendship not only to bring joy but to edify and help us grow. As Mueller notes, “As Christians, we are called to love our neighbors.” In friendship, this principle becomes tangible—it’s about supporting a friend through a breakup or celebrating their new job.
This concept of sharing life extends to the church as well. Mueller highlights that small group models in churches are excellent for cultivating friendships. Even if we feel that the people in our small group aren’t those we would typically choose as friends, we must remember that we all share the most important bond—belonging to Christ and being part of His family.
Cliff Young, writing for Crosswalk.com, outlines key aspects of friendship based on the biblical story of David and Jonathan. According to Young, true and deep friendships include “common values and experience,” “trust and encouragement,” and “commitment and loyalty,” as detailed in his article “The Making of a Friendship.”
Cultivating friendships can be challenging, especially as adults, requiring time and commitment. However, it is a valuable endeavor because friendship is one of the ways God sanctifies us and allows us to experience more of Him through shared lives.
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Veronica Neffinger is the editor of ChristianHeadlines.com