What Does the Bible Say about Marriage? Why is it So Important?

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Question: I have been dating a wonderful man for two years. We are both very serious and involved with our relationship and have spoken about marriage favorable. However, today’s view of marriage seems to teach that marriage is based on your happiness and can be temporary. I’m worried that I’m not prepared for how God wants me to view marriage. What does the Bible say about marriage?

Answer: Scripture emphasizes the sanctity and significance of marriage, portraying it as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman.

In the book of Genesis, we read, "a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, NKJV). This powerful verse speaks to the unity and intimacy that marriage is meant to embody. It's a call for us to become one with our spouse, sharing our lives in a deeply connected and harmonious way.

The Bible also guides us on how we should treat each other in marriage. It’s not just about roles but about a beautiful dance of mutual love, respect, and support. Ephesians 5:22-33 paints a vivid picture of this dynamic, urging husbands to love their wives sacrificially, just as Christ loves the Church, and encouraging wives to submit to their husbands with love and respect.

Moreover, the Bible stands firm against practices like adultery and divorce, emphasizing the importance of lifelong commitment. It’s a reminder that our marriages should reflect the unwavering love and faithfulness that Christ has for His Church.

Throughout both the Old and New Testaments, marriage is more than just a social contract; it’s a profound reflection of the divine relationship between Christ and the Church. This underscores its immense spiritual significance in our Christian walk. 

God's Plan and Design for Biblical Marriage

God's design for a Biblical marital relationship is heterosexual, not homosexual, and monogamous, not polygamous. This relational aspect of God's image in marriage has analogs portrayed in Yahweh's relation with Israel (Isaiah 54:5, Jeremiah 31:32, Ezekiel 16:8-14, Hosea 2:14-20) as well as in Christ's relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:21-33,  1 Corinthians 11:1-3, 2 Corinthians 11:2;  Revelation 19:7-9). Israel is portrayed as Yahweh's wife. Her idolatrous unfaithfulness and disobedience to Yahweh are frequently depicted as spiritual "adultery."

Human reproduction comes through an intimate sexual union designed only for the marriage relationship. Cohabitation abuses the procreative nature of the marriage relationship. While reproduction is a divine purpose of marriage, some couples are unable to have children for various physical reasons. This does not make their marriage second-rate or inferior. However, a married couple should desire to obey the divine injunction of procreation if possible. Children are one manifestation of the "one flesh" of marriage. The procreative injunction obviously precludes homosexual "marriages."

Let's dive into 10 common questions and answers about marriage that are commonly discussed among Christians today:

What is the purpose of marriage? 

The relationship is to reflect the image of God - Genesis 1:26-27 - "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them."

What does the Bible say about the marriage relationship?

 God uses the word "helper" to identify Eve - Genesis 2:20. The original Hebrew word used for "helper" is "ezer." In this context, "ezer" conveys the idea of a helper or companion who provides support, assistance, and complementarity. It is important to note that in the Bible, the term "helper" does not imply inferiority or subordination but rather signifies a partner who comes alongside to fulfill a vital role in a relationship. In the case of Genesis 2:20, Eve was created as Adam's "ezer" or helper, to complement him and fulfill an essential role in their partnership.

Does God want all marriages to have children?

The marriage relationship is fruitful. Genesis 1:28 - God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground." 

Are Biblical marriages one man and one woman?

Monogamous relationship between husband and wife as stated in the original law. Matthew 19:5 - "and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?" and - 1 Corinthians 6:16 - "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."

Are husband and wife equal?

Husband and wife are equal before God. Ephesians 5:29-31 - "After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church - for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." and - 1 Peter 3:7 - "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

Is sexual immorality forgivable? 

Marriage is an indissoluble relationship except on the highest grounds. Matthew 19:9 - "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

What does the Bible say about submission in marriage?

Husband is the loving head of the relationship, and wife is subordinate. 1 Corinthians 11:8-9 - "For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." - Ephesians 5:21-33 - "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." - Colossians 3:19 - "Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."

In summary, we can see that Scripture tells us that Biblical marriage is an intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically throughout life. God's purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of the Godhead and to serve him. Although the fall has marred the divine purpose and function of marriage, this definition reflects the God-ordained ideal for marriage from the beginning.

What does "two become one" mean in marriage?

"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." - Genesis 2:4

The relational aspect of God's image is reflected in the bringing together of male and female in "one flesh."

This oneness with sexual differences portrays various aspects of God's image: same nature and essence, equal members, intimate relationship, shared purpose, and distinct personalities with different roles, including authority and submission. In the Trinity, the Father leads, the Son submits to the Father, and the Holy Spirit submits to both the Father and the Son. However, all three are fully and equally deity. Likewise, males and females in the marriage relationship are of the same nature and essence, equal as persons intimate in a relationship, common in purpose, but distinct personalities with different roles: the husband leads and the wife submits to his leadership.

The importance and meaning of the biblical teaching of 'two become one' in marriage, t can be understood in several ways:

1. Spiritual Unity: In Christian marriage, the union of two individuals goes beyond mere physical and emotional connection; it reflects a spiritual bond ordained by God. The idea of "two becoming one" suggests a profound merging of souls, where husband and wife share a common purpose, values, and faith in God. This spiritual unity is foundational to building a strong and lasting marriage.
2. Emotional Intimacy: The concept of "two becoming one" also underscores the deep emotional intimacy that develops between spouses in marriage. It involves sharing joys, sorrows, dreams, and aspirations, and supporting each other through life's challenges. This emotional connection fosters a sense of belonging and security within the marital relationship.
3. Physical Union: While spiritual and emotional aspects are crucial, the concept of "two becoming one" also acknowledges the physical intimacy between husband and wife within the bounds of marriage. This physical union is not merely about pleasure but serves as a symbol of the complete unity and commitment shared between spouses.
4. Mutual Submission and Sacrifice: The notion of "two becoming one" implies a mutual submission and sacrificial love between husband and wife, as instructed in Ephesians 5:21-33. Both partners are called to prioritize the well-being and growth of the other, laying aside their own interests for the sake of the relationship.
5. Reflecting Christ's Love for the Church: In Christian marriage, the union of husband and wife is intended to reflect the sacrificial love of Christ for the Church. As Christ laid down His life for the Church, husbands are called to love their wives selflessly, and wives are called to respect and submit to their husbands, creating a harmonious and Christ-centered union.

Do soulmates exist?

There is nothing in Scripture that suggests there is just one person we’re ‘supposed’ to marry. Proverbs 31 urges young men to be guided by a woman’s faith and character in making their choice—there is no mention of second-guessing some divine destiny. In 1 Corinthians 7, the apostle Paul tells women (widows, in particular) to seriously consider singleness but assures them the choice of whether to get married is up to them, and then specifically says women can marry “whomever they wish” as long as their potential husband is ‘in the Lord.’ (v. 39) 

If the Bible explicitly says, ‘it’s your call whether or not to get married’ (a sentiment Jesus echoes when he says some “choose” to become eunuchs—celibate—in Matthew 19:12, with emphasis on the word “choose”) and it’s entirely your choice as to who to marry, why should your subjective feelings and reasoning override living by the truth of Scripture?

There is, quite frankly, nothing in Scripture that ever tells us it is our sworn duty to marry one particular person. Whether we marry and who we marry are spoken of in Scripture as part of God’s “permissive will,” something he allows us to choose. (From No, God Didn’t Tell You To Marry Your Spouse)

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?

In this over-sexed and under-loved world, people are looking for the real deal, the secret to lasting love with a vibrant sex life. Because of this pursuit for a purer passion, the most asked question we get when it comes to Red Hot Monogamy is, “What is okay with God?”

First and foremost, sex is for marriage. Ephesians 5:31-32 (quoting Genesis): "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 reinforces this with the reminder, “It is God’s will that you keep away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him” (1 Thessalonians 4:3, GW).

For married couples, God gives only a few clear commands on what is and isn’t permissible with the gift of sex he created. Instead of a list of “no-nos,” let’s look at his guidelines in the affirmative:  

You can say YES if you:

Yield to one another. Everything done is agreed upon. The goal of intimacy is unity. In Red Hot Monogamy, we look at the 8 areas of intimacy and give tools to build intimacy in each area. Colossians 3:1 encourages, "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." If you love, you will want to talk through and agree on expressions of sexuality.

Extend it in love. No one should ever feel forced or coerced into sex. The sex acts should reflect love, not demean or inflict pain. Sex is a relationship to be protected, not a person to exploit. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, "Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled."

Secure it with privacy. Sex should only be you two alone. Your marriage bed is yours and yours alone (no other partners, no pornography, no mommy porn, no fake imitations of body parts). Why settle for anything fake when you can create the real thing live and in person? When it comes to grey areas, things not specifically forbidden, applying 1 Corinthians 6:12 is a smart choice:

"Everything is permissible (allowable and lawful) for me; but not all things are helpful (good for me to do, expedient and profitable when considered with other things). Everything is lawful for me, but I will not become the slave of anything or be brought under its power." (From: Married Sex - What’s OK with God?)

Key Bible Verses and Scriptures about Marriage

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Hebrews 13:4 - Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Proverbs 18:22 - He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

2 Corinthians 6:14 - Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Ephesians 5:21-27 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

1 Peter 3:7 - Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Proverbs 21:9 - It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 19:14 - House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Genesis 2:18 - Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Matthew 19:2-9 - Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Read More Bible Verses About Marriage at BibleStudyTools.com.

Biblical vs. Worldly View of Marriage

Lie 1: “If you’re not compatible, you may have married the wrong person.”

God’s truth says that marriage is a covenant relationship. Once you choose to marry, it’s no longer up for debate about whether your spouse is the “right one.” Marriage makes them the right one, for it’s a commitment before God. It’s never to be based on shifting feelings but a daily choice to love the spouse you’ve chosen to marry. In a world that often prefers to “trade in for an updated version,” this truth doesn’t make sense. But according to God’s Word, it’s very clear.

"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." (Mark 10:9)

Lie 2: “If you’re not happy, don’t stay in an unhappy situation. You deserve more.”

For many of us, marriage can tend to bring our selfishness out like nothing else. We want our way. We insist on our rights. We want our spouse to make us happy, and right now! In the midst of demands, we’ll never be free to truly love and serve one another. Our focus will tend to be one-sided – our side – and what we want. Yet God’s goal for marriage was not just to “make us happy.” The truest picture of a Biblical marriage is that it symbolizes the love of Christ for us. And His desire for us all is that we be made more into the image of Himself.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)

Lie 3: Marriage is a 50/50 relationship.”

Marriage takes two people, fully committed, choosing every day to love and cherish. 50/50 will never be enough to see you through the most challenging times. It’s only half effort, and it seeks to compare what we’re doing with the other, always needing to check to see if they’re keeping up with expectations. This isn’t what God intends. His plan is a covenant relationship centered in Christ, loving through Christ; that is what will carry us through both good times and bad. It will take the entire effort of 100/100 to have a strong relationship that will thrive over time.

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8)

(From 10 Lies the World Tells You About Marriage)

More FAQ About Marriage

Q: Why is marriage only between a man and woman?

Answers: Marriage is seen as a union between a man and a woman because it mirrors the creation story in the Bible. In Genesis, God made Adam and Eve as partners, saying, "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Jesus echoed this in Matthew 19:4-6, emphasizing that this union was God's original design, meant to bring two people together in a unique and complementary way in which children can be conceived.

Q: Should Christians only marry Christians?

Answer: In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul advises, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers," highlighting the importance of shared faith in a marriage. Marrying another Christian helps ensure that both partners share the same values and spiritual goals, making it easier to grow together in faith and support each other in their walk with God.

Q: Is sex outside of marriage a sin that's unforgivable?

While sex outside of marriage is considered a sin in the Bible, it is certianly not unforgivable. 1 Corinthians 6:18 advises against sexual immorality, but God's grace and forgiveness are available to all who repent. 1 John 1:9 assures us, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." So, while it's important to strive for purity, God's forgiveness is always there for those who seek it. 

Q: Is singleness a calling?

Yes, singleness can be a calling. The Apostle Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 7, where he explains that being single allows individuals to focus more on serving the Lord without the distractions of marital responsibilities. He describes singleness as a gift from God, just as marriage is, and encourages those who are single to embrace their situation and use it for God's glory. So, singleness can indeed be a purposeful and fulfilling calling for some.

As we continue to seek to understand what the Bible says about marriage, it’s clear that this covenant is a beautiful and profound reflection of God’s love and faithfulness. Whether you’re married, single, or seeking a deeper understanding, embracing God’s blueprint for marriage can bring immense joy and fulfillment to our lives.

By understanding and living out the roles and responsibilities outlined in Scripture, we can build relationships based on mutual love, respect, and commitment. When we face conflicts with a spirit of forgiveness and strive for spiritual growth together, we strengthen the bond between us. Honoring the purity and sanctity of marriage keeps us true to God’s design, fostering a partnership that glorifies Him.

As we reflect on these biblical teachings, let’s be encouraged to seek God’s guidance in our relationships. Trusting that His plans for our marriages are perfect and good can enrich our unions and serve as powerful testimonies to His unwavering love and faithfulness. May our marriages be living testimonies of His grace, shining as beacons of hope and joy in a world that deeply needs it. Together, let’s embrace God’s design and let our marriages reflect His incredible love.

Photo credit: ©Pexels/Alejandro Avila

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This article is part of our larger resource library of Christian questions important to the Christian faith. From core beliefs to what the Bible says about angels, we want to provide easy to read and understand articles that answer your questions about Christian living.

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