You may not be constantly reminded of your life’s brevity as I am. See, I am reminded hundreds, if not thousands, of times a day when I physically feel my heart flip-flop in my chest, when I become short of breath climbing a flight of stairs, and when I twice daily take the medications to support my heart function. Even with these reminders, I often wonder: Do I really get it?! Do we really get it?! What would our lives look like if we really did live with our life’s brevity at the forefront of our mind? Would we pursue the temporary, or would we pursue the eternal? I hope my answer is the latter. I have grown to be thankful for the racing heart and skipped heartbeats I feel, for this reminds me that this life is not my own. This life is not about Julie. This life is about living for the One who sacrificed it all on the cross. I owe Him my life, and it is for Him that I desire to live.
My perspective of this life has changed. Friends that knew me before all of this happened would say that I really do live differently. However, this does not mean I am any less prone to reverting back into my old habits or old ways of doing things . . . sinning. I relate to Robert Robinson who penned the words of the well-known hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” The hymn was written in 1757. Out of the overflow of Robert’s heart, at the young age of twenty-two, came, “Prone to wander Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love. Take my heart Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.” When fear creeps back in my mind or my hands reach out to take hold of control in some area of my life, I am prone to wander. I am prone to wander when I succumb to the tendency of depending on my own self and my own strength and my own abilities, to live out this life apart from the power and promises of God. Yet I am thankful for the Holy Spirit in my life who does not allow me to get that far lost in the forest before my mind and heart are reminded of God’s character and His promises that He is faithful to keep— thus, bringing me back to relying on Him for everything.
My diagnosis and my daily symptoms have caused me to be that much more sensitive to living a purposeful intentional life rather than a life of self-absorption and comparison. When my time does come for me to meet God Almighty, Abba Father, face-to-face, I hope He finds me on the floor reading books to my kids, playing chase in the backyard, or having an authentic and vulnerable conversation with my neighbor. I share this journey, my story with you, with the expectation that Jesus might just use it to impact your life. I earnestly pray for you as your eyes read these words and your heart and mind process what I share. I pray that Jesus will reawaken your soul, giving you the perspective that this place, this earth, is not our forever home. And, because this is not our home, we can face life’s circumstances with strength and courage, even grace and joy. Because Jesus is better and because Jesus is enough!
To my sweet boys!
My biggest prayer over your life is that Jesus will awaken you to faith. I pray you will recognize that you need a Savior, and through reading the Scriptures, your mind and heart will agree that Jesus is the true Messiah. The life we are given here on this earth is a vapor. Each day is given to you by the Lord, and it should not be wasted. I pray that you will authentically worship God the Father and Jesus the Son, and I pray the Holy Spirit will fall on you with power. I also pray that the Holy Spirit will help you keep perspective on this life here on the earth. I pray that you will know that this life is not about you, your career advancement, your friends, your athletic pursuits, or even making much of your own name. I pray you will serve others with your life rather than desiring to be served. I pray you will worship the one true God who fulfills rather than the fleeting things of this world that only leave behind a sense of emptiness. I pray that Jesus will persevere you in the faith until the day He brings you home. May your lives be lived with intentionality, purpose, and joy because of Christ. I love you. Boy, do I love you.
my heart, mommy
Content taken from the new book My Heart: Every Beat Surrendered to Our Unchanging God, written by Julie Manning. ©2017 by Julie Manning. Used by permission of B&H Publishing Group, bhpublishinggroup.com.
Julie Manning is a wife to her beloved husband, John, mother of three fun-loving boys, and pediatric nurse practitioner. At the age of twenty-five, Julie left her career in corporate America to pursue a degree in nursing. While in nursing school, the Lord birthed a passion within Julie to care for children with heart disease. Little did she know seven years later, she would learn that her own heart was sick. The Lord’s pursuit of Julie’s heart and soul through the valley of facing many uncertainties has developed a fire within her to live intentionally from moment to moment as it may be her last.
Image courtesy: Thinkstockphotos.com
Publication date: February 3, 2017