The phrase "unequally yoked" comes from the Bible and has a special meaning in Christianity. It's biblical advice not to team up closely with people with very different beliefs, especially about faith in Christ.
The idea comes from farming, where two similar animals are put together under one yoke, a kind of harness, to pull a heavy load. If the animals are a lot alike, they work better together. This idea is used to talk about human relationships, too. It means that if people in a relationship, like marriage or friendship, have very different core values or religious beliefs, they might face significant challenges and disagreements.
Unequally Yoked Bible Verse
The phrase "unequally yoked" comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, attributed to the Apostle Paul, where it states:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (King James Version)
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (NIV)
In this context, "yoked" metaphorically refers to the practice of yoking two animals together to pull a load. A yoke is a wooden crosspiece that is fastened over the necks of two animals and attached to the plow or cart that they are to pull. The idea behind the metaphor is that two similar animals would be more effective when yoked together than two dissimilar animals, as mismatched animals would pull unevenly, making the task harder and less efficient.
Unequally Yoked Meaning
In a spiritual or moral sense, being "unequally yoked" means being in a close relationship where there is a fundamental mismatch in core beliefs and values, particularly in the context of a Christian being in a partnership (such as marriage) with a non-believer. The implication is that such mismatches can lead to fundamental difficulties and conflicts, impairing one's spiritual journey and relationship with God.
The concept is often discussed in terms of romantic relationships, advising Christians to partner with those of similar faith commitments. However, it can also extend to business partnerships, friendships, and other forms of close personal or professional relationships.
What Does it Mean to be "Unequally Yoked"?
To be yoked refers to two oxen joined by a wooden bar to complete work together. Being unequally yoked means that the two oxen are not equal in strength - one being weaker. When oxen are not equally yoked, they can not complete a task together well. Using this imagery, Christians cannot be partnered with unbelievers, or they will not be able to live out the Christian life that God wants for them. The weaker unbeliever who lives according to the flesh will slow down and hinder the Christian. Our faith is not meant to associate with the darkness of the sinful world.
Many believers fail to see why this command from the Apostle Paul is so important. Others disregard it altogether.
Being equally yoked is not meant to inhibit our dating lives. Instead, it is a command designed for protection and honor. Being unequally yoked is more dangerous than you think – and waiting for someone with whom you share the same spiritual heritage is far more rewarding than many believe.
Sometimes, it helps to understand The meaning of Scripture by reading a verse in several translations. Let's take a look at 2 Corinthians 6:14 using different versions of Scripture:
- "Do not be mismatched with unbelievers. For what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?" - Holman Christian Standard Bible
- "Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That's not partnership; that's war. Is light best friends with dark?" - The Message Bible
- "Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?" - New American Standard Bible
- "Don't be tied up as equal partners with people who don't believe. What does righteousness share with that which is outside the Law? What relationship does light have with darkness?" - Common English Bible
Dating Someone Unequally Yoked is Disobedience
I once received an email in which a reader said she didn’t think God cared about who she dated or married – He had bigger things to worry about. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. God has always cared about the unions His people make – as evidenced by His relationship with Israel.
In Deuteronomy 7, Moses instructs the Israelites in their responsibilities as the people of God. They have been freed from slavery and are now free men, about to enter the Promised Land. But Moses gives a warning:
“You shall make no covenant with [the people of the land] and show no favor to them. Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them… for they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods…” (Deut. 7:3-4)
Fast forward several hundred years, and we find Israel in direct rebellion against God’s command:
“The sons of Israel lived among the Canaanites…; and they took their daughters for themselves as wives, and gave their own daughters to their sons, and served their gods.” (Judges 3:5-6)
It probably didn’t seem so harmful at first. Perhaps the Israelites felt like there weren’t enough women, or there weren’t enough men to go around. However they rationalized it, the Israelites formed covenants between themselves and people who neither knew nor served God. In so doing, they were led astray.
Over and over in Scripture, we see this theme repeated. Two are Samson, who repeatedly sought out unbelieving women, a choice which in the end destroyed him (Judges 14), and Solomon, the wisest man in the world – until his many wives led him to worship other gods (1 Kings 11).
Uniting ourselves to people who do not love, follow, or submit to Christ is direct disobedience
Intimacy is Impossible Without Spiritual Unity in Christ
If Christ is truly the King of our lives, our most intimate selves should be submitted to His influence. How can we unite a Spirit-led soul to one in rebellion against God?
This rubs people the wrong way because no matter how respectful, sweet, or “loving” an unbelieving partner is, he is at odds with Christ – he is in rebellion. But if we call ourselves Christians, we’re saying we believe the Bible is our final authority. The Bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that without Christ we are “[unresponsive] in our transgressions”, conformed to the world, “living by the cravings of our flesh” and “by nature, children of wrath”. (Eph. 2:1-3) This is who we are without Jesus. This is who everyone is apart from Christ.
Therefore, those of us in Christ cannot be in a harmonious, God-pleasing relationship with an unbeliever. There is no fellowship between light and darkness (2 Cor. 7:14)! The Greek word for “fellowship” in this passage literally means contact or intimacy. Through Paul’s inspired words, we learn that intimacy with unbelievers is not just discouraged – it’s impossible.
God knows this. It’s why he commanded the Israelites to marry within the household of faith, and it’s why He inspired Paul to issue the same command. This is for our spiritual protection! Righteousness has nothing in common with a person who believes they are good enough apart from God:
“For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?” (2 Cor. 6:14-15)
No relationship apart from Christ can be truly “good” (Mark 10:18). No “love” apart from Christ is true love (1 John 4:16-17). It may look like these things from the outside, but will never be unified within.
Your Body is a Sanctuary of Worship
Paul’s mandate to be “equally yoked” isn’t found in a list of commandments; it was written to the struggling church at Corinth, a group of people confused about how to live for Christ in a corrupt world. That’s why he took the time to explain why equal yoking is essential to the Christian walk:
“What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said:
“I will live with them
and walk among them,
and I will be their God,
and they will be My people.”
“Therefore come out from among them
and be separate, says the Lord.
Touch no unclean thing,
and I will receive you.” (2 Cor. 6:16-17)
Your body is the new Temple. As a follower of Christ, the Spirit of God dwells in you. This is why God calls us to “come out from among them, and separate.” He’s not telling us to be unloving – we are called to love unbelievers (1 Pet. 2:12). God is calling us to love Him more than we love our own desire for a relationship. He’s calling us to be a place of worship.
This is a call to reconsider your view of God and dating. God cares about our relationships because He cares about us. He cares about our purity because that is what keeps us in a relationship with Him! Our holiness preaches the gospel louder than our words. Unequal yoking hinders our walk with God – the one thing we need more than anything else.
If you are already married to an unbeliever, the Bible speaks to your next steps. Start by reading 1 Corinthians 7. Questions? Email Phylicia at phyliciadeltablog@gmail.com
Phylicia Masonheimer blogs at Phylicia Delta, where she teaches women how to preach the gospel with their lives: proclaiming Jesus in work, love, and home.
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