Family relationships can be hard. There are so many dynamics that go into our daily interactions with each other. It is normal to have disagreements with siblings, cousins, and even our parents. However, sometimes things can get out of hand and we say things we don’t really mean. After all, we are human. We all may say things to our parents in the heat of the moment in an argument. Still, there are some things you should never say to your parents.
If you ever say these following things in the heat of an argument, please pause and find it in your heart to apologize. No matter how bad a misunderstanding, your parents love you and want the best for you.
“For instance, God says, “Honor your father and mother.”, and “Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.”
1. I hate you.
These three words cut so deep. Hate is a very strong word. It is defined as to feel intense or passionate dislike for someone. You may be upset or disgusted but you should never tell your parents you hate them.
2. Why did you have me?
Your parents had you because they wanted you. No matter how your family dynamics change over the years or the occasional disagreements you have, you are still their child. You are still the apple of their eyes. Just like we are to Jesus. No matter how much we question him at times about different situations in our lives, He will always be glad He created us as the individuals that we are.
3. You never support me.
Chances are, if you are doing something and your parents don’t support it, they don’t agree with your choice. It’s not that they don’t support you, they just don’t agree with a particular choice you have made or are making. As long as they feel what you are doing is right, your parents will always support you. If you feel like you are in a season where they are not supporting you, take a step back and consider the choices you are making or the path your life is taking.
4. You never pray for me.
Sometimes when we are going through a hard time, it can feel like no one is praying for us. It seems like the hits keep coming and won’t stop. Don’t lash out and assume your parents aren’t praying for you. More than likely, their knees are glued to the floor at one time or another every day on your behalf.
5. You love my brother/sister more than me.
Once again we go back to those family dynamics. This is one that parents hear all the time. It is not an issue of your parents loving your sibling or siblings more. Don’t accuse them of this. Like Jesus loves us all uniquely, your parents love you and your siblings uniquely on an individual basis.
6. Why didn’t you teach me right from wrong?
Our parents teach us right from wrong at a very young age. They teach us to be obedient, be careful of what we say, and to be kind to others. It’s how we carry those things with us as we get older and the impact of our decisions as we get older as to what is right or wrong that matters.
7. I wish you weren’t my parents.
This is one of the most hurtful things you could ever say to your parents. They chose to bring you into this world and to love you and guide you. As a teenager, you may have thought this from time to time. However, as an adult, look around at your friends and their relationships with their parents and then assess your own situation. It is probably better than you think, especially if your parents are still married or, if divorced, both are still around.
8. You were a bad example to me growing up.
Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. Yours did the best they could at raising you and they probably did make mistakes. Find some forgiveness in your heart, none of us are perfect.
9. I’m tired of helping you.
As your parents age, they are going to need your help more and more. Pause a minute and think of all the times they have helped you. Everything from your first steps, learning to tie your shoes, helping in your college years, etc. It is only right that you step up to help them in their golden years.
10. I don’t want to spend time with you.
Granted, this may be very true for some people. Some of us have parents that just are not pleasant to be around. However, we are commanded to honor our mother and father so we should spend some time with them to some degree. The relationship I have with one of my parents that are like this, so I understand. Still, when I see this parent I spend some time and call them on the phone every few weeks. As much as I want to some days, I don’t tell them I don’t want to spend time with them, I do as I am expected. No matter your relationship with your parents, you should consider this too.
Do you still worry that you may either blow up and say one of these things or let it slip out accidentally? Let’s pray.
Dear Lord,
I know my relationship with my parents has its ups and downs. Please help me to see both sides when we have a disagreement. Help me to hold my tongue and not say anything I regret. Please help me remember all the ways they have helped me over the years and to forgive their mistakes. In Your name, I pray. Amen.
Carrie Lowrance is an author and freelance writer. She has been featured on Huffington Post, She Is Fierce, Bon Bon Break, Positive Fountain, etc. She is also the author of three books of poetry and one children’s book, Don’t Eat Your Boogers (You’ll Turn Green). She writes her own child care blog at carrielowrance.com.
Image courtesy: ©Thinkstock/gpointstudio
Publication date: August 22, 2017