Being single is a gift. It may not be one of the spiritual gifts listed in the Bible; however, it is indeed a gift. It’s the time where you discover who you are as an individual. It’s also the place in life where there are endless opportunities to develop a profound relationship with God. In I Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul encourages singles to remain single. In fact, he states that it is good to be single. The Bible has countless examples and reasons why unmarried Christians should walk proud and boldly during this season of their lives. However, the single life has a negative stigma on it. The world, and many members of the body of Christ, have made unmarried Christians believe that singleness is not the blessing God intends it to be. From constant questions about marriage to making singles believe a relationship will solve all of their troubles, it’s easy to understand why many have a negative perspective on their relationship status. If you’re grappling with being single, take a look at the list below to discover how you can become content with it.
1. Understand What the Bible Says About Singleness
God’s Holy Word has so many amazing ways to describe singles. Psalm 139: 13-15 reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Human beings are God’s highest form of creation. He created us in His image. He created us for Himself. He formed us in the womb and designed the perfect plan for our lives. As God’s children, we are all wonderful in His sight. You are loved (John 3:16), you are a friend of God (John 15:13-15), God knows your name (Isaiah 43:1). Scripture indicates God’s relationship with His creation, and none of them limit that relationship with Him based on marital status.
2. Don’t Focus on Having a Relationship
Many singles often daydream about relationships. They spend time fantasizing about their future spouse and what married life is like. Some even predict what they will and won’t do once they’re married. Many singles also diligently seek out relationships and tend to focus only on the glamorized aspects. As Christian singles, it’s essential to center the heart your attention on God, His will for your life, and developing yourself. If you’re unsure of how to do this, take a look below:
• Begin eliminating negative thoughts or images about singleness.
• Center your attention on positive aspects of your relationship status. There is beauty in singleness.
• Don’t place your attention on other people’s relationships. If marriage is in God’s will for your life, it will be unique to you and your spouse.
• Focus on things that bring you joy. Revisit old hobbies and create new ones. Do something daily that makes your heart smile to keep your mind, body, and spirit focused on you as a person, not your relationship status.
If your primary focus is having a relationship, make sure you think about everything it entails. People often focus on what a relationship can give them. However, for relationships to thrive, it takes mutual effort, sacrifice, and understanding amongst both parties. Take some time each day to reflect on why you desire a relationship. Ask yourself the following questions:
• Are my desires superficial?
• Am I seeking companionship to fit in?
• Am I happy as an individual?
• Do I offer the stability (spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially) I seek from a mate?
Before you respond to each question, pray for clarity and understanding to be revealed to you. When you receive each answer, take heed and begin making changes as you see fit. Relationships are a blessing to have with the person designed for you. However, engaging in one should not be the focal point of your single life.
3. Know What Your Single Purpose Is
Getting married is not your purpose. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. You have a specific purpose to fulfill during this season. You have work to do in God’s Kingdom. Focus more on God’s will for your life as an individual. Take some time each day to pray and ask God what He wants from your life at this time. Wait patiently for a response. During the wait time, delve into your spiritual gifts and work in ministry, inside and outside the church. You’ll discover a new sense of joy that will fulfill your life like you never imagined.
4. Establish a Personal Relationship with God
Your relationship with God should be the center of your attention. When you build a relationship with God, you begin to see yourself and life from His perspective. You demonstrate your trust in Him. You are surrounded by His enduring love and guidance. You start operating in His will for your life. If you’re struggling to strengthen your relationship with God, take the following steps:
• Read His Word daily for understanding, clarity, and guidance.
• Study the truth of His Word so it will become a part of you.
• Practice His Word to develop a lifestyle that pleases Him.
• Develop a consistent, healthy prayer life. Keep the lines of communication open with God. Pour your heart out to Him in prayer and listen as He speaks to you.
Your relationship with God is the most important one you can have. It allows you to experience unconditional love and live a life filled with abundance. During this season of your life, make time to spend quality time with God.
5. Surround Yourself with Strong, Christian Singles
Being a single Christian is hard. However, having a strong circle of unmarried Christian friends can make a world of difference in your life. They will support your journey and can relate to your struggles. They also influence your mood and your perspective on singleness. If you don’t have a strong group of singles in your life, begin intentionally making connections with some. You can start by attending gatherings for Christian singles that focus on developing singles to work in God’s kingdom. You can also find a mentor in your church or fellowship with other singles ministries. Whatever you decide, be sure the connections you make will help you find peace with being single.
As you continue your journey, I pray that you make peace with being single. I pray that you will discover your purpose and walk boldly in it. I pray that you will allow God to use you for His will. Finding contentment in singleness is a path everyone has taken. However, the only way you can discover this satisfaction is to seek it earnestly.
Photo credit: ©Unsplash/Hean Prinsloo
Author Liz Lampkin is an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.