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How to Make Others Feel Seen, Known, and Loved This Christmas

Cally Logan

Christmas is a beautiful time of year in which we can celebrate our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, but also, we can uplift and love others as He loved them. In every way, Jesus sought to help others feel known, seen, and loved during His time on Earth. As we strive to live lives as imitators of Christ, we too can follow His lead in loving others as He loved.

Thoughtfulness

A commonly overlooked way to love others is noticing the small but important details. This can be intentionally listening to what others say and incorporating kindness as a gift based upon something they have shared. One of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received came from a friend who recalled that my hands got cold during runs in the morning despite my gloves. The friend purchased me some hand warmers to place within my gloves, and it was astounding how they not only remembered that little detail I shared but decided to take action to bless me through a gift. Gifts do not need to cost a lot to be memorable or meaningful. When in doubt, ask the Lord to bring to memory or mind a detail that can help the person you want to honor this season through your thoughtfulness.

Known

Helping someone feel known can extend past knowing their favorite things; it can also be accepting them and appreciating them for who they are. Much of this can go hand in hand with their personalities. For example, if someone you want to feel known this Christmas is an introvert and you know that large holiday parties are not in their comfort zone, consider inviting them to a party so that the invitation is there, but also extending an invitation to a one-on-one coffee. This will help the person feel known because large crowds may prove overwhelming. Still being invited but being given the option of a one-on-one will help them feel valued by your spending and enjoying more intimate time with just them. Recalling the aspects of someone where they feel safe is important, and honoring their comfort zones can help them feel known. When people feel known, they feel valued, and that is a gift money cannot buy this holiday.

Seen

So often, people are present, and others are aware of their presence, but they do not feel seen. It is easy in the busyness of life for people to slip through the cracks, but over time, that can cause people to think that they are unseen and unimportant. Jesus loved others through seeing them, even the least of these. Think about the woman who bled for twelve years who touched the hem of His garment. Even though there were crowds of people touching and grabbing and attempting to draw near to Him, Jesus noticed that the woman felt His garment; He saw her. As imitators of Christ, we can look past the crowds of activities, things, and people grabbing for our attention and look to those that need our attention in this moment and season. It may be a spouse, a parent, a child, or a friend, but there is someone who needs to feel seen by you this Christmas season. Ask the Lord to embolden and highlight this person to you and ask how you can help them feel seen this year. It could be a coffee, a card, a gift, or even just a long hug, but someone needs what only you can give.

Loved

We all know the five languages of love: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, gifts, and acts of service, but how often do we actually seek to love others from where their love languages are rooted? It is easier to love others how you understand and accept love, but does that help the person you seek to love this season feel loved? It takes effort and time, but look to see how you can love those around you in the way they receive love. If you are having a hard time figuring out their love languages, you could ask, or you could notice how they love others. Does your dad show love to you by changing the oil on your car? Does your mom offer warm, full hugs? Does your spouse speak words of encouragement over you for no reason at all? If they give love to you in such a way, they would most likely appreciate receiving love in the same way. Get creative in how you can take their love language and truly help them feel loved this Christmas. You will never regret the effort you spend loving others.

Expect Nothing in Return

One aspect of giving, especially at Christmas that is seldom discussed, is the expectation of receiving in return. As much as we would want to receive the same amount of thought and effort in return, therein lies the potential to become let down or deflated, even angered if reciprocation is not there. Instead, give with a heart that is to sincerely help someone feel important this Christmas, regardless of if they can return the gift or not. 2 Corinthians 9:7 shares, “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” While this verse is typically in tithes and offerings, the principle stands still in giving to others. Offer up what is in your heart to give and put aside your desire even to receive a thank you. Know that you honor God in what you give, and you honor the person, even if the person keeps their gratitude within.

When we take on the decision and heart to give and live in the same way that Jesus did, we take on the task of going the extra mile. When doing so, partner with the Lord so that when you make an effort to bless someone, they feel it from you and their Heavenly Father, who loves them. Choose to make others feel known, seen, and loved this holiday season, even if in small ways. When you do, you open the door to so much more than all you could ask for or imagine. You help to become the hands and feet of Christ here on Earth through extending love in the way He loves us. Remember what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 12:27, “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.” As members of the Church, it is our duty to be the body of Christ, to be the hands and feet. And how much more glorious is this season when we come forward to genuinely and with sincere hearts love others well and fully? May God bless you this Christmas season and speak to your heart about blessing those He has placed in your life.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/SeventyFour

Cally Logan is an author and US History teacher from Richmond, Virginia. Her works have been featured on "The 700 Club Interactive," “Jesus Calling Blog,” and “Coffee and Bible Time,” among several notable outlets. She served as a mentor for young women for several years and enjoys challenging women to develop deeper relationships with God and to live fearlessly and authentically. She received her B.A. Degree from Regent University. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time in nature, having genuine chats over coffee, and woodworking. Her new book, The Wallflower That Bloomedis available everywhere nowConnect with Cally: @CallyLogan Instagram CallyLogan.com