At 10:25 p.m., I awoke with a start. All I could think of were my twin boys. Were they safe? I had fallen asleep on the couch as I waited for them to get home by their 11:00 curfew. They were brand new drivers. The roads were wet. Were they being careful? As I waited, I broke out into a cold sweat. My imagination ran wild. Visions of car wrecks and hospital rooms popped into my head. So I paced there tearfully in the dark, filled with terror, wanting to protect my kids from things I couldn’t control. Twenty minutes later, they came in safe and happy. I had panicked over nothing.
If you’re a mom, you’ve probably suffered from anxiety, too:
Writhing, instead of resting.
Terrified, instead of trusting.
Panicked, instead of peaceful.
Of course, you want to protect your kids. But face it, the older they get, the less control you have. And if you’re not careful, worry can take over. Like acid, anxiety can eat you up on the inside. It can steal the joy of parenting. It can hamstring you as a mom. I know. I’ve been there. And now that my kids are grown, I still worry sometimes, but I’ve learned to fight anxiety by focusing on the truth. So can you. When anxiety hits you, and you don’t know where to turn, turn to these five powerful truths:
1. Controlling everything is not your job—it’s God’s.
Even when it feels like you can control things, you can’t. Not really. And actually, you never have. Accepting that God is in control (not you) is freeing. Remember, the Lord loves your children far more than you do. He has a purpose for every child’s life—and for your life, too (Ps. 138:8). Mom, do your best and surrender the rest to God. Solomon wrote: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Prov. 3:5) This description of surrender can help:
Surrender Is:
Surrender is accepting life as it is, instead of how I want it to be.
Surrender is following God, even when I don’t know where He’s going.
Surrender is waiting patiently for God, even when I don’t understand.
Surrender is trusting God to bring good out of every circumstance.
Surrender is maintaining my peace, no matter what happens.
© Copyright 2017 by May Patterson
2. Ease isn’t always the best thing for your children.
Okay, this goes against my grain, but it’s true. Kids (and all of us) grow more when we face hardship rather than ease. But I admit I’ve tried to shelter my children from consequences too many times. I’ve tried to prepare the road instead of preparing the child, as if I know what’s best. But after years of parenting, I’m learning to look at my children’s trials differently. I’m learning to trust God (a little more) with their lives. I hope you are, too.
The Bible teaches us that:
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient.” Romans 5:3, NLT
3. You can choose peace, even when you feel anxious.
While some situations are forced upon you, you can still choose your response. Here’s how to choose peace even when you don’t feel like it: stop looking at the problem and start looking at God. For instance, consider who He is. The Bible calls Him “Savior” (Heb. 7:25). That means He’s really good at saving souls and more: He rescues us when we suffer. He comforts our hearts when they ache. He even revives our hopes and dreams. Peace will come as you trust in Him to be your Savior. The Bible says:
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” Matt 6:34 MSG
Here’s a good prayer for peace:
Dear Lord, my mind is racing. My heart is heavy. And I feel powerless right now. I release these anxious feelings to you, Lord, and ask you to take them away. Help me choose peace as I face this trial, for you are greater than my anxiety. You are more powerful than this problem. You are my Savior and my child’s Savior. You are worthy of my trust, so I choose to trust in you now. Protect us. Provide for us. Grant us peace.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
4. God has far greater dreams for your children than you do.
While your plans for your kids are good, God’s plans are better. He plans to bless and provide for your children’s future. Perhaps this includes friends, children of their own, an awesome career, or even something totally unexpected but wonderful. I cling to this promise for my children:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jer. 29:11 NKJV
You know, God’s pretty good at arranging things. Mom, be patient and flexible as you trust God to work His plans out for your kids. Their lives may look different than you expected, but you never know what God has in store. Encourage your children to walk with God and to live according to His principles. Trust God to use their lives for His great purpose (even if it doesn’t align with yours).
5. Instead of freaking out, call out to God in prayer.
Satan fights against your children every day, so they need your prayers every day. But sometimes, praying for your kids can be discouraging. You may feel ineffective. Your efforts may seem fruitless. And your prayers may not be answered for a long, long time. But don’t give up praying, Mom! Never stop interceding for your children. Remember, some answers come in decades rather than in days. And here’s an added blessing of prayer: the more you pray for your kids, the more your anxiety will shrink. The Bible says:
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 4:6-7 NLT
Here’s a helpful prayer for anxious moms:
Dear Lord, it scares me to see my child hurting. I want to fix the problem and make it right, but I can’t. Since I’m not in control (and have never been), I place this burden in your loving hands. Lord, I praise you for being good, not only to me but also to my child. You’ve come to our rescue so many times. You’ve provided power when we’ve needed it and made a way through impossible situations. Because of this, I know you have a good plan for our future, a plan you made long ago. So I trust you to turn pain to joy, trial to blessing, and sorrow to hope. For “no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has ever imagined the things you have in store for those who love you.” (1 Cor. 2:9) In Jesus’ name, amen.
Mom, if you’re feeling anxious right now, store up these truths in your heart. Attack your fear by focusing on them daily. And above all, remember this: God loves you and your children. Forever and ever. No matter what.
May Patterson has been writing and teaching Bible study classes for years. Recently she released her first book, “Seeking a Familiar Face.” Now, she has just released its companion Bible study workbook. May trained in small group dynamics for over ten years with Bible Study Fellowship, serving as a leader for four years. She has written for various magazines including Focus on the Family, Upper Room Magazine and iBelieve, and is a sought-after public speaker. May is married to her dear friend, Mike, and they have three grown children. She loves to tell stories, laugh, and talk about the adventure of seeking God. Read more from May by visiting: http://www.maypatterson.com.