It’s coming soon! That epic Sunday where dads are celebrated for being the number one dad in the world! Those of us who have been blessed with great fathers will all argue that our dad deserves that position, and let’s face it, we all know our dad is truly the greatest of all time.
When Mother’s Day rolls around, it always seems easy to figure out ways to express the love and affection we have for her. Flowers, dinner, pampering, etc., and she’s well on her way to knowing how special she is to us. But for dads, it can be more difficult to communicate how special they are to us. While a segment of men respond well to cards and gifts, there are also quite a few dads who aren’t sure what to do with the attention, let alone a card. And if you’re opting on getting daddy-o flowers for Father’s Day, maybe make sure that really is top of his gift-receiving bucket list.
So how can we make our dad feel special this Father’s Day? Are there ways we can do this where even the most reserved father will hint at a smile because it touches his heart? If you have a dad that’s easy to spoil, three cheers for you, and you probably don’t need this article. But, if you’re like me, your dad is a bit tougher, so I’ve put together a few thoughts that might help you this Father’s Day.
1. Consider His Love Language
Most of us are familiar by now with the concept of love languages. But if you’re not, consider that every individual responds very positively toward a specific way of expressing love. Physical affection, acts of service, tangible gifts, words of affirmation, or quality time. It’s not horribly difficult to uncover which one your father is, even if he hasn’t taken the assessment.
Once you identify what you believe your dad is, you can drill down showing your dad that particular kind of love that will truly communicate well to him. Is he acts of service? Maybe instead of a tie or a new wallet, consider heading over to his place to mulch the garden with him, clean out the garage, or accomplish a task on his to-do list. Is he quality time? A gift really won’t crack this man, but if you take him golfing, or maybe for a hike, or nosing around in an old bookshop, his love tank will swell. The chance to spend that quality time with you will be more effective than if you wrote a letter and told him how much he means to you. However! If your dad is words of affirmation, write that letter!
2. Don’t Underestimate Quiet
Not all days want a boisterous cookout for Father’s Day. They may also not want a lot of attention, nor do they want to have a lot of hoopla made about the day. If you’re like some families, dads prefer the simple, quiet Sunday to anything remarkably different.
I know. It’s hard to fathom letting Father’s Day go virtually uncelebrated. But remember. Father’s Day is about him. If your dad is more withdrawn, shy, and prone to avoid shin-digs and being the center of attention, then respect that. It’s difficult. We want to shower them with praise and excitement. We want to make a big deal, so he knows he’s special. But it’s not about what we want; it’s about what he wants. Maybe this Father’s Day, all you do is head over to Dad’s place after church, throw a pizza on the table, give him a haphazard “happy Father’s Day,” a sideways hug, and then collapse on the couch to watch TV and take a Sunday nap. And don’t be surprised if later, he states it was “the best Father’s Day ever”—even if you feel it was anticlimactic.
3. Quality Over Quantity
Balloons, dinner out, cards, gifts, and family can be a wonderful experience for your father on Father’s Day. Whatever you choose to do, remember that quality trumps quantity. By this, I mean dad will be able to tell if you almost forgot and threw something together. Often, we overcompensate by going big and all-out. But really, your dad will appreciate quality over a mass of gifts and cards and confetti. This means investing the time that it takes to customize Father’s Day for your dad. Be cautious of resorting to the cookie-cutter habits of commercialization, and instead, put time and thought into how you want to celebrate him. In the end, he will appreciate it—even if you don’t have confetti.
Father’s Day really is an excellent opportunity to celebrate your dad. Sometimes it seems as though honorable and good fathers are becoming less prevalent these days. So if you have a father who has invested in your life, it’s time to turn around and invest in his. In fact, consider that one day out of the year is a nice gesture to recognize your dad and take stock of how often you express your love, gratitude, and respect toward him throughout the rest of the year. Do you make a conscientious effort to do this? Is your father included in your life—either in person or if separated by distance, via text/phone/email/social media?
My own widowed dad told me the other day—with tears in his eyes—how grateful he was for the amount of time we spent with him. For the good night texts we send to him. For the way we make sure he makes it to church on Sunday. For the importance we put on not letting him be alone in the house for more than a couple of days in a row. He mentioned he had other widower friends who went weeks without hearing from their kids. They were an afterthought—or at least that’s how they felt. Now is the time to start cultivating that love and affection for your dad. Not just on Father’s Day but throughout the year. Dads want to know they’re appreciated, yes, but I’ve yet to meet one that doesn’t prefer the consistency of affection and respect versus a one-day big celebration.
Let’s face it. Sometimes to put ourselves in a position where we truly realize the importance of who dad is, we have to take him out of the equation and realize that he won’t be here to celebrate one day. We won’t be able to pick up the phone, take a drive over to his place, or even sit down and take a Sunday nap together in a nearby chair.
Making Father’s Day special? Yes. It’s a good thing. However you do it. But don’t limit it to just one day. Be with him. Be present in the moment. Put away work, your phone, your task list, and your busy lives, and welcome dad in as your father. He is the patriarch of your family—the one who has led and supported you all, more than likely quietly by the sidelines. You can do the same for him in return. A steady supply of care and respect will go much further than a coffee mug with World’s Greatest Dad emblazoned with gold letters.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Halfpoint
Jaime Jo Wright is an ECPA and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author. Her novel “The House on Foster Hill” won the prestigious Christy Award and she continues to publish Gothic thrillers for the inspirational market. Jaime Jo resides in the woods of Wisconsin, lives in dreamland, exists in reality, and invites you to join her adventures at jaimewrightbooks.com and at her podcast madlitmusings.com where she discusses the deeper issues of story and faith with fellow authors.