How to Overcome the Fear of Praying in Public

It can happen to anyone and maybe it has happened to you. You are sitting in church or in a small group and the time comes to pray. You can feel the leader of the group scanning the attendees because you know they are going to ask someone to pray. On the inside your heart begins to race because you are hoping they don’t ask you. You purposely keep your head down and avoid making any eye contact because you don’t want to give even the slightest impression that you are interested in leading the prayer. The tension continues to mount as the moment of truth draws near because they are about to ask someone. What a great relief you experience because this time they didn’t ask you. You got skipped over, and this was one time where it didn’t matter because thankfully, someone else was chosen to pray. Immediately your anxiety subsides, and you feel as if you have dodged another bullet.

If you have you experienced something like this when you are asked to pray in public, you are not alone. Many people are afraid of praying in front of anyone else. This fear can grip you whether you are praying in front of a group or even just one other person. There can be an inherent pressure that comes with it, and I must admit there have been times when I have felt it.

When I first met my wife, we went out to eat. I asked her to pray for the meal. She got very nervous and declined and asked if I could pray for it instead. I later discovered she felt intimidated to pray in front of me or anyone else for that matter. Over time she has since conquered that intimidation (as I have) and she is comfortable praying in front of a room or with someone else one on one. Trust me, if she can do it so can you. The question is how do you do it?

I want to give you four things to consider which can help you overcome the fear of praying in public.

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What Causes the Fear of Praying in Public?

Before I offer the suggestions to help overcome this fear, let me talk about the number one thing that causes this fear.

Intimidation.

When people are asked to pray in public, there are different worries and concerns that flood their hearts and minds. They worry about what they are going to say. How will it sound? Who is listening to the prayer? Will people think their prayer is spiritual enough? Will their prayer be effective? This is especially true if the pastor or someone you think can really pray is in the room.

When you combine all these factors, it can swell up into a tsunami of overwhelming emotions where people would rather sit in silence than get up to pray. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. You can pray in public with confidence and assurance that your prayers are effective, and I believe these four suggestions will help you do that.

4 Suggestions to Help Overcome the Fear of Praying in Public

1. Don’t Focus on How Other People Pray

I used to go to a church where the public prayers were very “extravagant” to say the least. While I don’t believe they were trying to be showy, these people really went into prayer. They prayed long, they prayed strong, and it felt like they knew how to pray. If there was a such thing as a professional prayer, this was it. They not only prayed with conviction, but it felt like they quoted the entire Bible when they prayed, reminding God of every promise he ever made.

When you hear people pray like this, you can easily think “I hope they don’t ask me to pray because I can’t pray like that.” Here is the good news. You don’t have to. Part of the intimidation of praying in a public setting is we falsely believe there is some special way you must pray because it is in public. This is not true. How other people pray has no bearing on how you pray. If that works for them, great, but don’t try to copy them.

So often in church we do things simply because we see other people do them and that sets an expectation that we feel we must attain. Sadly, this is true of prayer as well. Don’t fall into this trap. Let other people pray the way they pray and don’t try to compare or compete.

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2. Talk to God, Not to the People

Sometimes people pray for the effect of the prayer. What I mean by that is they want to hear a response from the audience (at least that is how it was in the churches I went to). You listen for the amens and agreements for the audience. If you are praying to hear the “amens” and “hallelujahs,” then you are not praying to God but to the people. These prayers might sound good and even be impressive to the people, but I can tell you these kinds of prayers are not effective, so avoid doing them.

When you pray, let God be the sole focus of your prayer. Spend your time talking to God because that is what prayer is, and the best part is he wants to hear from you.

3. Be Authentic – Heart Matters More than Words

One of the struggles of praying in public is you can feel like you don’t know what to say and you worry your words might not be good enough or your prayer might not be long enough. You can mistakenly believe there is some perfect way to pray. Let me tell you, God is not interested in perfect prayers because there is no such thing. What God is after is authentic prayers. The length of your prayer is not what moves God heart. The honesty and authenticity in your prayer does. Consider what Jesus said about prayer:

“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him” (Matthew 6:7-8).

What God wants in your prayers, whether they are public or private, is honesty. Tell God the truth about how you feel and what is in your heart. These are the most effective kinds of prayers.

Photo credit: Unsplash/Eunice Lituanas

4. Follow Jesus’ Model of Public Prayer

small group Bible study holding hands in prayer

When you look at Jesus’ life, you don’t really see him praying very long prayers in public. His prayers were short and direct. Here are some examples.

When Jesus was at Lazarus’ tomb here was his prayer.

“So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me’” (John 11:41-42).

That seems pretty short and direct to me. I would even add this is doable for the average person. Here is another example, when Jesus fed the five thousand.

“And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people” (Matthew 14:19).

Jesus had this practice of praying short, simple prayers in public. There were times when Jesus prayed long and intense prayers, but those prayers were never prayed publicly. If you must pray in public, short prayers work and are appropriate because that is what Jesus did. This does not mean you don’t ever pray a long prayer in public. It means you don’t have to feel pressured to do so.

Final Thoughts

Prayer is your time to talk to God and share what is in your heart. Whether you are in front of other people or in your own personal time of prayer this truth remains. When you pray from your heart with all sincerity, then you can pray no matter where you are, and this is what God wants to hear anyway.

The next time they are looking for someone to pray, you don’t have to volunteer, but you also don’t have to be afraid if they call on you. Just stand, pray in faith, and be authentic. When you do this, you will touch God’s heart and that is what prayer should be about anyway.