Do you feel helpless when it comes to encouraging your kids in their parenting? As young parents face complex challenges in today’s culture, many of us are left wondering how we can best encourage and support them. The truth is, we didn’t have to deal with many of the issues confronting modern families today, so we’re left scrambling to find ways to help our kids navigate these uncertain times. While we can’t eliminate every struggle, we can help ease their burden and offer genuine encouragement along the way.
Here are a few ways to encourage your kids in their parenting.
Let Them Know “God’s Got This”
I realize this phrase has become somewhat commonplace, but it’s still true. By letting our kids know, “God’s got this,” we’re reminding them of His guidance and help at all times. Remember, it’s the Lord who enables us to parent our children in the way they should go, and we desperately need the strength He provides.
Now, if your kids aren’t open to hearing about God, you can still offer words of affirmation such as,
“You can do this.” “I’m here for you.” “It’s going to be okay.”
Ultimately, we need to be our kids’ biggest cheerleaders, especially as they raise their children to be kind, loving, responsible adults. Words of affirmation can go a long way in building their confidence and preventing feelings of defeat.
If your kids are open to hearing about God, encourage them through the Scriptures, namely, Deuteronomy 31: 8, which says, “The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
It might not feel like it sometimes, but God truly has our best in mind. He sees, He hears, He knows, and our kids need to be reminded of this as they continue their parenting journey.
Point Out Their Strengths
Typically, it’s natural for us to point out people’s faults and criticize how they do things. But when it comes to parenting, our kids need all the positive reinforcement they can get.
Be willing to see the strengths in your kids’ parenting style, even if they do things differently. Remember, they love their children and want what’s best for them, so applauding their strengths without harping on their weaknesses is much more beneficial. Now, this isn’t to say we should never discuss negative issues. Anytime there is abusive behavior, concerns about child safety, or moral integrity issues, we should address the matter as soon as possible.
Be sure to pray for wisdom before you speak or act, and be willing to look for the positives in most situations. Almost everyone I know thrives when they’re given a little positive reinforcement, and that’s what we want for our kids in their parenting. Let’s help them be the best parents they can be by pointing out their strengths and encouraging them to keep going.
Offer Wisdom Once, Maybe Twice
Many of us believe that if we repeat ourselves enough, the other person will finally listen. However, there’s a good chance that if they didn’t listen the first time, they won’t listen on the tenth.
When speaking to an adult child, parental wisdom should be offered once or maybe twice. You can even say something like, “I won’t share this again, but it’s an important topic I think you should consider.”
Remember the Bible verse that says, “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). This imagery is symbolic of how silver and gold can fit together beautifully, just as a timely word can soothe the situation at hand. When offering wisdom, it’s important to let your kids know that you speak from a heart of love and experience and only want to help.
Acts of Service Say a Lot
Encouraging our kids through actions can often speak louder than words. Every parent needs support from time to time, and small acts of service are a great way to offer the help they need.
Here are a few examples:
-Delivering groceries to their doorstep
-Taking chicken soup when they’re sick
-Offering gift cards to local restaurants/stores
-Raking leaves or mowing their lawn
-Babysitting so they can have a date night with their spouse
-Cleaning/cooking for them
Try to be consistent by scheduling small acts of kindness each month. This doesn’t have to be extensive (or expensive); it can be the smallest gesture of support. When you make an effort, your kids will know you’re there to support them, and hopefully, they’ll recognize the tremendous blessing you are to them.
Let Them Know “We’re in it Together”
Gone are the days when extended families lived together and supported one another on a daily basis. The teamwork that used to be part of generational households has become a distant memory—especially in the U.S.
But, no matter how far apart you live, you can always let your kids know you’re “in it together.” You’re on their team, in their corner, and have their backs.
On the flip side, excluding your kids or keeping them at arm’s length can be hurtful to them. That’s why touching base with them regularly and keeping the lines of communication open assures them you’re available when needed.
Teamwork is one of the ways God created families to operate, and His design for parents and children is to live in live in unity and support of one another. Letting them know, “We’re in it together,” is a great way to encourage them in their parenting.
A Prayer for Our Kids in Their Parenting:
Gracious God, please give us wisdom as we encourage our kids in their parenting. Remove all doubt, fear, and negativity and replace them with trust in You. Show us ways we can be supportive—physically, emotionally, and Spiritually. Please open our kids’ hearts to receive what You have for them and strengthen them to parent their children in Your ways. In the holy name of Jesus, amen.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/LuckyBusiness
Jennifer Waddle is the author of several books, including Prayer WORRIER: Turning Every Worry into Powerful Prayer, and is a regular contributor for LifeWay, Crosswalk, Abide, and Christians Care International. Jennifer’s online ministry is EncouragementMama.com where you can find her books and sign up for her weekly post, Discouragement Doesn’t Win. She resides with her family near the foothills of the Rocky Mountains—her favorite place on earth.