Christmas is many people's favorite time of the year. But it can also bring undue stress and financial concerns as people strive to make Christmas the most wonderful time of the year. Part of the unnecessary stress has to do with trying to keep traditions from previous years. If you find you are stressed out because you are trying to keep up with traditions you had when you were a kid, you may want to re-evaluate your perception of what makes Christmas special. Here are five myths about Christmas:
1. You Have to Do it All
If your favorite holiday memories revolve around your mom cooking, baking, and decorating, you may find those memories are shaping how you see Christmas. If you are a mother, especially one who works outside of the home, you may not have time to do everything your mom used to do. In generations past, women prided themselves on making Christmas dinner from scratch. However, in this busy day and age, you may not have time to do everything from scratch. This does not mean you have to do it all or that Christmas will not be a great day simply because you use canned cranberry sauce or buy a store-bought pie. While those made-from-scratch items may taste better, it may not be worth the time and money you are spending to recreate this family memory.
This might be especially difficult to implement if you have family members who make you feel bad if you did not do it the way "mom used to make it." If you're having difficulty with family members making you feel bad about cutting corners, politely ask them to help you out or refrain from making comments. Part of great Christmas memories come from harmonious families coming together for a special meal. No matter how good a made-from-scratch pumpkin pie may taste, it won't be worth the memories if you find you're fighting with family members. There is nothing wrong with taking shortcuts, or even better, asking members who are coming over to help bring side dishes or desserts to minimize your time in the kitchen.
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2. Traditions Can't Be Broken
Some of the magic adults experience during the Christmas holiday is re-creating traditions from years past. Parents and children want to create the same warm feelings they felt as kids by re-creating those same traditions. However, traditions do not always have to be met every year. Some traditions can be broken and replaced with new practices. This is especially true if you're melding two families together. If you are newly married or have children, the old traditions simply may not work given your time schedule or new family dynamic. Give yourself a break by recreating new memories and saying goodbye to old traditions.
3. It Is Better to Receive Than to Give
Although the holidays were focused on getting a special gift for every person, you may be feeling under stress because you want the perfect Christmas gift as well. This may stress out other family members who want to please you. The emotional needs met through gift-giving are truly met when you sacrifice yourself for someone else. Isaiah 58:9-11 says, "If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame."
If we are living our lives daily with meaning and purpose as Scripture dictates, we will not need to rely on receiving the perfect gift to feel valued and appreciated. If we are, as Isaiah 68 points out, helping fight injustice and giving to the poor, our souls will be like well-watered lands if we are consistently producing fruit for the Lord. This is our lives' true meaning and purpose, and no gift will ever compare to the feeling of making a difference in someone's life.
4. You Can't Celebrate Christmas Without Every Family Member
While Christmas is known for being with family, this is not always possible. College students who are long distances away from home, elderly who cannot get out of their homes, and other factors may play a role in whether every family member is present at your Christmas dinner table. This does not mean that Christmas will not be Christmas if every member is not present. See a missing family member as an opportunity to get to know the other members who were there. In large groups, it is difficult to get to know everyone. Ask the Lord to help you get conversations started. Try to have deep-meaning conversations to increase the intimacy between you and your family members. You may find you discover things about family members that you would not have known if every member had been present.
In every family dynamic, members, particularly siblings, need to find their roles. Some may play the clown, trying to get everyone's attention with a laugh; others may try to impress others with what they have accomplished or what possessions they own. This does not make for deep sharing but rather a spirit of competition. This is not what the Christmas spirit is all about. Make a point to divert the conversation away from accomplishments and possessions and rather to what God is doing in your lives. You may discover ways God is moving that you did not know before.
5. Christmas Loses its Magic as an Adult
While it's true Christmas is most magical for kids, it doesn't mean adults can't enjoy the Christmas holiday too. Think about the favorite parts of Christmas you held as a kid. It may help re-create the magic if you dress up like Santa for your family members. It may mean taking up a hobby like creating a Christmas village or building on an existing train set you had whose tracks center around the Christmas tree. Re-create the magic of Christmas not by allowing the gifts but through the role you play in the holiday season.
Make Christmas Eve magical by reading the account of Jesus's birth in Luke. Have each family member go around the room reading from the Bible the story of Jesus. Ask people questions about the text. Put them into this story by asking them to interact with what they are reading. Ask them what Mary may have felt carrying Jesus on a donkey for many hours. Ask them what Joseph may have felt watching a baby being born. Bible reading doesn't have to be boring, but making it a more interactive experience will bode well for all participating members. You can also read a Christmas classic to your family members. A Christmas Carol or the poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' are great additions to your Christmas experience.
Christmas can be a great time for every person involved. By debunking the myths above, you can have a great time with family, impact people's lives, and, most importantly, keep Jesus as the reason for the season.
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Hall of Faith encourages kids to understand God can be trusted. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.