As the holidays approach, it is almost impossible to escape the theme of romance. From Hallmark movies to jewelry store ads, the holidays constantly bring up couples. That can be a harsh reminder for those who are single, and especially one for those who are newly single at Christmas.
Cuffing Season
In my early twenties, I became well aware of a trend that went on with many of those around me in college. It was the concept of cuffing season. Cuffing season is a term given to couples who get together early in the Autumn months to have someone special through the holidays and then more than likely find themselves broken up shortly after Valentine’s Day. For some, the intention to “cuff” for a few months is not there; it just happens to be the case in timing. For others, the fear of being alone during the holidays is greater than that of the fear of wasting time with someone not meant for them. Many newly single people at Christmas are the result of cuffing season, or they might feel tempted to try cuffing season. Either way, fear is in a place of control. When fear dominates anything, a door is opened to allow fear to become more prominent than the fruit that could be born of trust in God.
The Timing of the Lord
Isaiah 60:22 shares, “At the right time, I, the LORD, will make it happen.” What this speaks to is when the will of the Lord is being carried out, it will be by His hand to make things happen. This is a shift in perspective, for we no longer rely on our own wisdom, strength, or knowledge but instead look to God for such things. In a similar way, Proverbs 3:5-6 serves as a great reminder that it is not by our own understanding but in acknowledging Him that our paths are made straight. Some may have just found themselves alone and single at the doorstep of the holiday season, which can be a very hard place to be. Mates are not promised in the Bible, but what is promised is that God has a plan for every person’s life; when they choose to enter into a relationship with Him and surrender to His will for their lives, they will experience life in a whole new way with Him.
A Seed of Hope
Although companions are not a promise given in the Bible, they are often part of the plan for a person’s life. In the first days of Eden, God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He made a “suitable helper” for him in creating Eve. If we break down the story, we see that before Eve entered the scene, there was a seed of longing within Adam to find someone of his own kind. Genesis 2:19 shares, “Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found.”
Each type of animal had another of its kind, but Adam did not. If God had not wanted Adam to have the hope of a spouse, there would not have been the desire planted within his heart to have one of his own kind with him, for he was in perfection in Eden. God fulfilled that seed of hope within Adam by bringing Eve, but it was in the timing in which God saw fit. For Adam had accomplished the task given to him by God, and then God Himself moved and acted to bring forward a mate.
What it Means for Us
We are not in Eden, so our lives may not be as linear as Adam’s story in finding Eve, but that does not mean that God does not see where we are as well. For many, you may have just found yourself newly single after a long-term relationship. You hoped and worked and strived to make that relationship all it could be, but at the end of the day, it was not what God had as His best for you. You relied on your own stubbornness to find it wasn’t meant to be. That can sometimes feel soul-crushing, but it does not mean your story is over. It does not mean you have missed out on God’s blessings.
With a heavy heart, a broken heart, or even a weary heart, we can come before God as we are with our desires. Placing such precious things at His feet and allowing Him to answer to what is best for our lives and at what timing. For He knows more than we know, and in this season, He may have something entirely unexpected for you in the process. Perhaps there is someone He wants you to meet during this season, or maybe He wants to grow something new in your character. His answer is not the same for each person, but you can know His answer is what will yield the most fruit in your life.
How to Celebrate with Joy
Joy in itself means the quiet assurance of Who God is, and through coming before Him, we can all experience true and uninhibited joy in God this holiday season. We can take off the burden of trying to control situations, the weight of expectations of others at the holiday dinner table, and the fear of what ifs and instead stand knowing firmly that God is Who He says He is, and He will do what is best in your life if you trust Him.
Being single is not an easy experience for anyone, especially during the holiday season. Know that if you are newly single or have been single for a while that it does not make you less than; it is nothing to be ashamed of. Your duty is to answer to God, obey His leading and commands, and not entertain the passing thoughts of the Enemy that you are anything less than His child. The Enemy will attempt to sit at your table to mock and ridicule you into fear, but remember God is greater. So, as we enter into this season, come into it with a heart full of hope that He has you, He has your story, and this time is not wasted. This may just be a time you look back on with gratitude that you will one day share with others how God did a great and mighty work within your heart, mind, soul, and life.
Prayer:
Father God,
We pray for those who have found themselves single this holiday season. Lord, we know that single does not mean abandoned, forgotten, or all alone, for You have promised never to abandon or forsake us. Lord, please make your will for this person’s life abundantly clear and give them the faith necessary to trust and believe that You have a story so magnificent that they even now can rejoice in the work of Your hands.
In Jesus' Name,
Amen
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Drazen Zigic
Cally Logan is an author and US History teacher from Richmond, Virginia. Her works have been featured on "The 700 Club Interactive," “Jesus Calling Blog,” and “Coffee and Bible Time,” among several notable outlets. She served as a mentor for young women for several years and enjoys challenging women to develop deeper relationships with God and to live fearlessly and authentically. She received her B.A. Degree from Regent University. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time in nature, having genuine chats over coffee, and woodworking. Her new book, The Wallflower That Bloomed, is available everywhere now. Connect with Cally: @CallyLogan Instagram CallyLogan.com