One Thing More Pastors and Leaders Must Admit

I have been in church my entire life. I started going to church around five years old and got saved when I was six. Since then, I have always been a member of a church somewhere. During these past forty-plus years in church, I have served in many capacities and have ended up in some level of leadership in every church I have ever attended. I have seen what happens in the front of the house (which everyone sees), and I have seen what happens behind the scenes in the back of the house (which few people see).

After years of serving in these environments, I recognize there is something strangely absent that more pastors and leaders need to admit and be honest about. All pastors and leaders are human, and they don’t have it all together.

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The Reality of the Human Leader

The only time we hear about the humanity of a pastor or leader is when we discover some indiscretion. Suddenly, they remind you of how human they are. Where was this admission before we caught them? It existed, but unfortunately, many times they did not acknowledge it.

I believe too many leaders have bought into the idea that not only do they have to have it all together, but the people they lead need to know they have it all together. God forbid they see you are a flawed human being just like they are, and there lies the problem. It all boils down to one thing: pride.

We don’t like to think of these things as prideful or arrogant, but they are. Sadly, many in the congregation buy into this façade many pastors and leaders are selling.

The Façade of Perfection

There was a well-known television minister who was visiting my area, and I went to hear him speak and minister in person. During his message, he made this statement.

“The reason I have received so much from God is because I don’t doubt God.”

In the audience, many people responded with amens and applause as this man lauded his great faith and trust in God. I could tell some were in awe and wonder by his statement. My initial thought to what he said was what a bunch of hogwash. Every single person who has ever lived on the face of the earth has experienced a point in their life where they doubted God. Let me prove this to you.

In Matthew 11:11 and Luke 7:28, Jesus said of those born of a woman there was no prophet greater than John the Baptist. This is extremely high praise coming from Jesus’ mouth. John the Baptist was the forerunner of Jesus who prepared the way. He was the one who said he must increase, and I must decrease (John 3:30). He was the one who declared Jesus was the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world and he baptized Jesus and saw the dove descend on him and heard the voice from heaven. It was this same John the Baptist who was in prison and while there, he sent word to Jesus. Here is what he said:

“When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’” (Matthew 11:2-3).

When John was in prison, he had a moment of doubt. He proclaimed to the world of his day who Jesus was and yet, after experiencing everything he did, he still asked Jesus this question. This tells me that if someone as great as John the Baptist can have a moment of doubt, so can you, so can I, and so can every pastor or leader. That’s why I say to what that preacher said: hogwash.

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The Problem with That Preacher’s Narrative

Person walking on a rickety bridge over rough water

When pastors or leaders spin narratives like these, they create an image of themselves that is just not true. Maybe life is good for them now and they don’t have to worry about certain things, which are usually material or financial, but it wasn’t always like that. However, could it be possible this statement exposed a deeper truth?

When you are really pressing forward in God, there are going to be new challenges that require greater levels of faith and trust. In those moments, you can have doubts, worries, and fears because you are human and you’re believing God for something bigger than you can see or accomplish on your own. Faith and trust are not a perfect straight line upwards. Faith and trust are like the stock market; they go up and down, they just do so in an upward trajectory.

If you reach a point in life where you never doubt, then maybe you aren’t stepping out of the boat and are just staying in the comfortable lane you have created for yourself. Maybe the reason he doesn’t doubt is that he is not believing God for something bigger than he can see. When you already have the resources, it no longer requires faith to believe for them. Who knows, maybe his statement of not doubting God shows a lack of faith because he feels he doesn’t have to trust. (I’m just saying.)

It is easy to make brash statements when everything has already worked out and the battle is over, but what about when you are sitting in the prison? Pastors and leaders need to reject this type of false narrative because humility and being human are qualities every leader needs to exercise, and they are far more endearing to those whom you are leading.

Photo credit: Unsplash/Benjamin Davies

Let’s Follow Jesus’ Lead

“They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray’ He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,’ he said to them. ‘Stay here and keep watch’” (Mark 14:32-34).

Jesus was the greatest leader who ever lived, yet he showed his humanity and vulnerability to those he was leading. When you read these verses, there are some things Jesus acknowledged.

1. Jesus Acknowledged He Needed to Pray

It is okay to admit before the church that you need to pray. Jesus openly shared with his disciples his need to pray. In doing this, he was setting an example for them of how they should lead others. You pray not because you have it all together; you pray because you don’t, and you are going to the one who does.

2. Jesus Acknowledged He Needed Greater Support

Jesus didn’t set out to pray alone. He brought some help with him, namely Peter, James, and John. I have yet to find an outstanding leader who stands alone. You don’t make it to the position you are in alone, and you certainly cannot stay in that position alone. You are going to need help along the way and lots of it. There is no shame in admitting this.

What a refreshing thing to hear a leader say – I am not sure what to do and I am gathering some people so we can seek God together for the next steps. This is not a sign of weakness, but one of great strength and comfort to the listener, because it shows the leader’s dependence on God for direction. This person is a greater leader than the one who makes it appear as if everything is okay, nothing ever goes wrong, and they alone have all the answers.

3. Jesus Acknowledged His Struggle

Jesus stated he was deeply distressed and overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. If there was ever a moment we see Jesus’ humanity, this is it. If Jesus was comfortable in making known his struggle, then as leaders, we should be too. I am not saying air all your dirty laundry; I am saying acknowledge your humanity.

Final Thought

Red peg standing out from a line of white pegs

The generation we are living in is tired of inauthentic leaders who appear disconnected from the realities of the regular person. They don’t want picture perfect images of leadership where every part of their life operates in pristine fashion. They want leaders who are down to earth and willing to admit they hurt, they cut, and they bleed. This type of authentic leadership draws people to you and reflects who Jesus is. This is what people are looking for today.

When we set ourselves up as above it all, then all we have done is set ourselves up for a greater fall. This is unnecessary because you are human, and it is okay to admit it. You know you are. Your spouse surely knows you are, and chances are many in your congregation already know it too. Being authentic and vulnerable may seem scary at first, but it will make you a better leader in the long run.