As 2022 comes to a close, we encourage you to reflect on this past year and all the ways God has worked in and through your marriage. Crosswalk strives to provide biblically sound encouragement and wisdom to couples in every stage of life. Some of you have had a wonderful year, while others have greatly struggled. No matter what you are facing or have faced, know that God is for you. He has shown us what true love looks like; He can sustain us in seasons of marital difficulty or strife and is worthy of praise in seasons of great joy and growth!
In light of the New Year ahead of us, let's take a moment to look back and reflect on the ten most popular marriage articles of 2022!
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." (Mark 10:7-9 ESV)
1. Will I Still Be Married to My Spouse in Heaven? by Hope Bolinger
Although Scripture can be a bit enigmatic about the nature of heaven, Jesus does make one thing clear in the Gospel of Luke: even if we marry on this earth to an earthly spouse, we will not stay married to them in heaven.
One may wonder how this question comes about. Of all the things to wonder about heaven, a spouse doesn’t necessarily top the list of questions one may think to ask. However, it seems reasonable that Christians may wonder about this. Many Christians have lost a spouse along the way and want to reunite with them in heaven. Others may have experienced a divorce (or a few divorces) and may wonder which spouse they’d be married to in heaven. Or even others have remarried along the way, and would that mean they’d be married to both spouses? How would that work?
This article has been a long-time favorite with our readers, and it's no wonder why! It provides answers to this popular question and challenges our very view of marriage in light of eternity.
2. 10 Signs You Married the Wrong Person by Meg Bucher
This is not a rally cry for divorce, but it could be a wake-up call for your marriage. Many of us start down this road with visions of fairy tales in our heads, and echoes of Mark 10:9, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate,” that ring fresh in our ears. God allows us to make mistakes, and it’s possible to marry the wrong person.
To determine whether we are enduring the difficult reality of married life, or the consequences of bad decision-making skills when it comes to choosing a spouse, we must seek God’s counsel. Beyond daily prayer and study of the Word, professional counsel should be considered whenever a question regarding the stability of a marriage arises. Christian counselors are people put in place as the healing hands of Jesus here on earth.
This article looks at 10 signs you may have married the wrong person and what to do.
3. Is it a Sin to Masturbate According to the Bible? by Dr. David B. Hawkins
In today's society, masturbation is widely accepted as normal and even "good." But what does the Bible have to say on the topic? How does God want us to handle sexual temptation and our natural desires that He had created for good? Dr. David relies on Scripture in answering this question and offers five practical steps for handling temptation. Sin has caused us to stumble time and time again; the cycle of masturbation and shame can seem impossible to break, but it is possible to overcome with a submission to God and the help of others.
This is frequently a popular article; our world is full of sexual temptation, and so many of us struggle to fight it. This question of masturbation becomes especially interesting in light of marriage and how it can affect your relationship. Beth Ann Baus addresses this in her article Is Masturbation a Sin if You're Married?
4. What Does the Bible Say about Sex before Marriage? by Gregg Farah
Similar to the topic of masturbation, sex outside of marriage is becoming increasingly accepted today. It can be easy for us as Christians to blur the lines between right and wrong, especially when everyone around us is doing it. We convince ourselves that sex before marriage is "okay" if it is with our fiancé or that it is okay if it is close to the wedding date or because God will just forgive us. No matter what we may tell ourselves, the Bible defines pre-marital sex as a sin, and we must treat it accordingly.
God knows that if we pursue anything outside of His guidelines, we will suffer consequences. Until you're married, God wants you to pursue and love Him, and to honor and love your future spouse by waiting to have sex until you're married. If you've already had sex, you can begin waiting today. Maybe sexual sin is something you've struggled with for a long time and don't think you can just stop. So how about taking the first step and asking for God's help? Are you willing to do that? How about taking the next step and asking a friend to pray with you and encourage you? We need to be encouraged and supported by friends. God is crazy about you and will walk with you through this. He's just waiting for you. Will you take God's hand and walk with Him?
5. How to Survive the First Year of Grieving a Loved One by Dan Wheeler
Sadly, 2022 was a year of grief for many. Whether expected or unexpected, losing someone you love is hard. In this article, Dan Wheeler opens up about the loss of his wife to stage 4 cancer and the difficulties he faced in his first year without her. He shares what he learned from his first year of grieving and offers ways to honor their memory and hold onto hope:
"If you are grieving, or caring for someone who is terminally ill, just know that “the year of firsts” is coming. But have hope that you will make it through. The year of seconds will be a little bit easier. What’s important now is to live “in the moment.” Pour your love into your loved one. Don’t hold back in expressing how you feel through your words and your actions. And as you go through the year of “firsts,” recognize that those are going to be very tough days. Try to use them to honor your loved one’s memory and draw on the strength of your family and friends."
We pray for comfort to all those who have lost their spouse this year and for healing in 2023.
6. What Does the Bible Say about Marriage? Compiled & Edited by Crosswalk Editorial Staff
What does the Bible say about marriage? This article outlines several biblical facts about marriage: the relationship is to reflect God's image, the relationship is fruitful, marriage is to be a monogamous relationship between a husband and wife, both husband and wife are equal before God, marriage is an indissoluble relationship except on the highest grounds, and the husband is the loving head of relationship while the wife is to lovingly submit.
But what does the Bible say about sex in marriage? What is God's design and hope for marriage? Does the Bible say there is one specific person for us to marry? What does it mean that "two shall become one"? This article answers these questions and more, contrasting biblical and worldly marriages and showing how to be a Christian witness through your marriage.
7. Does God Want Me to Stay in an Unhappy Marriage? by Lisa Murray
The reality is that culture has changed, and the beliefs we carry about marriage often mirror those changes. Truth today is seen as relative; feelings fuel our experience, and a consumer-driven mindset fosters more transactional attitudes toward relationships.
Instead of understanding God’s true purpose for marriage, we routinely view marriage based on what another person can do for us, what they can give us, and, ultimately, how they make us feel about ourselves. Bottom line: If happiness is your primary expectation of marriage, you will most likely find yourself disillusioned and disappointed.
This article shares eight signs that your marriage is unhappy, the important difference between an unhappy marriage and an emotionally or physically abusive one, and six ways to reclaim your marriage.
8. 3 Reasons Why He Who Finds a Wife Finds a Good Thing by Heather Riggleman
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord." Proverbs 18:22
A man cannot attain anything better than a good wife. “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels” (Proverbs 31:10). Such a good wife is hard to find. The word excellent (hayil) can mean “strength, capability, valor, or dignity.” This woman exemplifies each of these qualities, having great competence, noble character, and a strong commitment to God and her family. Only the Lord can provide such an excellent woman. This good woman is a priceless gift from God.
So, what is a good wife? The Bible says a wife is a help-meet, a partner, a virtuous woman with the grace of God upon her. She is her husband’s crown jewel, his lover, his confidant, the mother of his children, and so many more things.
This article celebrates 3 reasons why when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing!
9. 9 Signs to Identify a Controlling, Dominating Spouse by Joe Beam
Because so many controlling or dominating people tend to dismiss complaints from their spouses, this article supplies quotes and examples with two goals. First, to demonstrate to those who feel controlled that they are not alone and that they should not dismiss their frustrations as selfishness or misunderstanding. Second, to give examples of how several different people feel controlled in hopes of creating awareness of the dominating spouse of how his/her actions are perceived. It looks at nine specific signs and unhealthy ways that a spouse controls.
Some examples are controlling what a spouse does or wears, using anger or criticism, acting superior, controlling who a spouse spends their time with, and dominating in sexual ways. Joe Beam then discusses how these actions can affect the dominated person in the relationship and gives practical steps to take in order to address the issue or flee the controlling spouse.
10. Does God Hate Divorced People? by Jen Grice
Loving people should include loving divorced people as well. But most times, divorced people don’t feel this love because they feel looked down upon and condemned. And they are labeled as sinners or adulterers for being divorced or remarrying after divorce. It feels like divorce is the only life choice that has no redemption in many ways, which is just not true! The “God hates divorce” statement is extremely harmful when Christians use it as a weapon to keep abused women (and men) in toxic marriages. Their intentions might be to save marriages, but the words only damage already hurting people. That's not what God intended when He made those statements in the Bible. Furthermore, maybe fallible humans misinterpreted God’s statements, and now we use it as God’s Word to punish divorced people.
Jen Grice, a divorcee herself, shares her personal story. She looks at Malachi 2:16 and concludes their is compassion and forgiveness for those who have gone through divorce. Her article shares how others can love and embrace those who are hurting from an abusive relationship that ended in divorce.
As we enter the New Year, we pray that God will richly bless you in your marriage and work in marvelous ways for those going through a hard season. He is capable of more than we can even imagine and is the great Healer. Lean on Him as you face trials in your relationship, praise Him for every breakthrough, and rejoice when you experience growth and happiness together.
We hope that you continue to be challenged and encouraged by our articles as we enter 2023!
Leah Arthur is the Family Editor of Crosswalk.com. She graduated from James Madison University with a B.A. in English and minors in Creative Writing and Writing, Rhetoric, and Technical Communication.