I stared at the photo. Who was that woman? Twenty years ago, Dan performed the wedding of some dear friends. The bride sent me a wedding picture she had taken the day they were married to celebrate their anniversary. I had to admit it was a great picture of Dan and me standing beside the bride and groom. However, celebration was not on my mind as I stared at the photo.
It was like an exclamation point to the fact that I am old! My first reaction was depression, so I took a nap and hoped it would pass. However, when I woke up, I was still old. Time for a major attitude check.
I knew the drawbacks of growing older – wrinkles, pain, and soreness in almost every joint, slowing metabolism - ugh. My husband woke up one morning, sat on the edge of the bed, and said, “I would love to wake up one day without any pain.” I could relate. But I was daily learning the profound and often painful truths of growing older. With a sigh of resignation, I responded, “Honey, that ship has sailed.”
The reality is that growing old is unavoidable. I know I need to stop whining about every passing day and cherish every moment God gives me on this side of Heaven. So, I headed to Google for articles about the perks of growing older to prime the pump. The problem was that a lot of those articles were written by people in their 30s and 40s. That is NOT old!
I am 72. That is old. I can write this article from personal experience and the perspective of someone who has traveled many roads, met so many wonderful and not-so-wonderful people and lived to talk about it all. I set my mind on gratitude as I began to think back over the years, and the perks of growing older began to rise to the surface slowly. I share them with you from a heart that is thankful for this day, this moment, and a heart holding a smidgeon of celebration.
1. Growing Older Is a Gift
I was recently getting ready to meet a friend for lunch. When I looked in the mirror, I saw my mother staring back at me. How did that happen? Wasn’t it only yesterday that there were no wrinkles, fewer pounds, and thicker hair? It was a shock! My mom died when she was my age – 72 – after years of battling cancer.
My next thought was that growing older is a gift. I decided right then and there to no longer fight the battle of aging by buying every beauty product that promises to wipe ten years off your face in ten days. I no longer would beat myself up for being a little messier, sleeping later, keeping a lighter schedule, eating a few things I shouldn’t eat - the list is growing.
Growing older is a gift.
2. Growing Older Allows Me to Be Comfortable with Who I Am
I cannot tell you how many hours, and even years, I spent playing the comparison game in just about every area of life – appearance, accomplishments, success in ministry, and being seen as someone powerful and important. It took a lot of energy to keep all those irons in the fires of significance—too much energy.
One day, my Father said, “That’s enough, child.” He shut the door on opportunities and turned out the light in my life so I could no longer see and compare and struggle to discover who I am in the eyes of God. Some things cannot be learned in the light. I had to learn them while sitting at the bottom of a deep, dark, slimy pit of depression.
It took me two years – no teaching, leading women’s ministries, community Bible studies, and no traveling to speak for conferences. I was paralyzed. Looking back, it was one of the most profound spiritual markers in my life. That experience made me comfortable with who I am – chosen, bought, and loved by God Himself.
I wrote my first book when I was 50 and have since written 16 books, 15 Bible Studies, and hundreds of devotions and articles for Christian websites like Crosswalk.com. All because as the years have passed, I have discovered who I am, what my purpose is, and gotten comfortable in my own skin.
3. Growing Older Allows Ne to Sometimes Be an Expert
I have a prayer team of women who have faithfully prayed for me for over twenty years. One team member once said to me, “Mary, you really should do a reality television show because no one would believe the things that happen to you and your family. You just can’t make this stuff up!” In the life of a Southerland, there is always a helicopter landing!
I have come to realize that this roller-coaster life is the one for which I was created. I have survived so many storms. An alcoholic father, sexual abuse, poverty, infertility, clinical depression, dealing with a bipolar child, you get the idea. And in each storm, God has helped me emerge stronger and wiser, ready to share what I have learned with those who come behind me. I am learning and growing and becoming more of an expert on surviving and thriving in the midst of storms.
My husband has taught me the valuable lesson of leveraging my age and experience instead of moaning and groaning about it. He has done this beautifully. Dan was a youth pastor and then a senior pastor who worked with Rick Warren to help existing churches transition to purpose-driven purposes. After pastoring churches for many years, he began to plant churches. Dan’s heart passion is now to train younger church planters and empower them to do what Dan has been doing for many years. Dan is notably a well-known expert in church planting.
Growing older allows me to become an expert.
4. Growing Older Helps Me Make Fewer Mistakes
Proverbs 22:15 says, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”
As I’ve experienced God’s discipline in my life, I’ve grown up in many ways. Spiritual maturity protects me as I seek to depend on the Holy Spirit as I make decisions rather than operating out of my own sin and issues. While I’m far from perfect, I don’t make the same “rookie mistakes” I did when I was younger.
I was rummaging through a box of old books and discovered several journals. I had forgotten entirely I kept those journals, but they were a roadmap of where I had been and how God had brought me through some pretty amazing times of struggle and joy, along with pain and purpose. And I realized an important truth.
I don’t make many of those mistakes anymore. I took a moment to celebrate the passing years that have held so many lessons learned and truths understood, then practiced. Words I spoke in haste many years ago I now pause and think about before saying them.
Growing older helps me make fewer mistakes.
5. Growing Older Gets Me One Day Closer to Heaven
I have a friend named Grace Chavis who is holding a spot for me beside her in Heaven. An author and Bible teacher, Grace embodied her name more than any woman I have ever known. When I learned that Grace had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer and doctors said there was nothing more they could do, my heart broke.
I took a few minutes to get my act together before calling Grace. I had rehearsed what I would say to her and had the Scriptures I needed to comfort her in mind. “Hello?” Grace said in an extraordinarily cheerful voice. I was stunned. How could this joyful woman have just received a diagnosis of terminal cancer?
“Grace, this is Mary Southerland. I just heard you are having some medical problems and just wanted to encourage you, friend.” Laughter came through the phone as Grace said, “Oh, Mary! I’m so glad you called! I just got home from the doctor, put on some praise music, and have been dancing around my living room singing, 'Soon, and very soon, I am going to see my King!'”
I could barely speak. I had just been schooled in how to face death on Earth and eternal life in Heaven. Growing older gets me one day closer to Heaven than I have ever been.
Psalm 90:12 contains an important truth: “Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” This wisdom flows out of our realization that we will not live forever. Each of us has been put on this Earth for a specific number of days that only God knows.
I am sometimes painfully aware that my days on this Earth are numbered. I need to make the most of every minute of every day. I need to view what I do as eternal investments in my family, friends, ministry, and whatever God gives me to do.
Eleanor Roosevelt said: “Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again.” While that truth can be a little unsettling, remember that every day you have on this Earth gets you one day closer to seeing Jesus face-to-face. That means your best days are definitely yet to come.
Growing older gets me one day closer to Heaven.
6. Growing Older Makes Me Royalty
When it comes to growing older, our culture is obsessed with products and procedures to erase all signs of aging. The Word of God tells us that aging is sacred and old age is wonderful.
Proverbs 16:1 tells us, “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life.” The Bible actually mentions several “advantages” of being older, such as wisdom and understanding.
Job 12:12 “Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding?”
Now think about those words for a moment and remember who wrote them – Job. Job had been through a lot, to say the least. I am sure he gained much understanding and wisdom because of the tough circumstances he endured. I need to do the same. And when I do, I want to wear that crown of glory as a testament to all God has done in, and through me, all God has allowed me to enjoy and endure, all God has left for me to do.
I know that growing older holds a plethora of emotions, thoughts, fears, questions, and the stark realities of life. I also know that growing older is not a surprise to the God who has seen me through every single moment of my life and will continue to walk with me, go before me, and make level every mountain. I am also confident he will fill each day with His presence, power, and purpose. If I am breathing, I am not done. And for that truth alone, I can celebrate each and every moment of growing older.
Mary Southerland is also the Co-founder of Girlfriends in God, a conference and devotion ministry for women. Mary’s books include, Hope in the Midst of Depression, Sandpaper People, Escaping the Stress Trap, Experiencing God’s Power in Your Ministry, 10-Day Trust Adventure, You Make Me So Angry, How to Study the Bible, Fit for Life, Joy for the Journey, and Life Is So Daily. Mary relishes her ministry as a wife, a mother to their two children, Jered and Danna, and Mimi to her six grandchildren – Jaydan, Lelia, Justus, Hudson, Mo, and Nori.