Couples study the Bible and apply verses to their personal lives. But how many incorporate familiar Bible verses into their marriage? Here are five familiar Bible verses you can incorporate into your marriage:
1. Love Each Other
John 15:12 says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."
Love comes in many different forms. There's agape love, eros (erotic) love, and phileo love (for a friend.) We share all these types of love with our loved ones or spouse. Our spouse is our best friend, lover, and someone to love through good times and bad. When you first get married, attraction is high, and your love for your spouse is superficial. Each partner is still looking for the other to meet needs in their lives that only God can fill. But as we mature, however, that love changes. They no longer have the warm feelings you once had when we first got married; we can love our spouses in different ways because we know them intimately and are committed to spending the rest of our lives with them.
The Bible contains many Bible verses that were written to churches for specific groups of people. Since we are to be the reflection of Christ and his bride, the church, many Bible verses can also apply to our marriages. Here are five ways biblical verses to incorporate into your marriage:
2. Turn the Other Cheek
Matthew 5:38-42 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."
This is a difficult verse to live out in today's "eye for an eye" society. We live among those who believe if someone does something bad to you, it is only right you do something wrong back to them. But Christ changes this by telling us to go out of our way to love our enemies. Your spouse may not be your enemy, but there are definitely times when you have arguments you may not love them the way you once did—or even like them. This passage tells us to go out of our way to love the people who hurt us the most, which includes our spouses.
3. Forgive Seventy Times Seven
Forgiveness is the cry of God's heart. Not only does forgiveness free us, the offended, but the offender as well. Jesus tells us to forgive even repeated offenses when he said, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. It gives them a taste of the freedom that Christ lived in as he walked on earth. Although we may have been victims of some horrible events, there is nothing without Christ help that we can't forgive" (Matthew 18:21-22).
It is easy to keep a record of wrongs when your spouse commits the same action repeatedly. Forgiving is way more difficult when the action is continuous because it involves trust. It's difficult to trust someone who has not shown repentant behavior. But our mandate in Scripture is still to forgive even if the offense occurs many times.
If you don't believe your spouse has done anything that you need to forgive, have a heart-to-heart conversation and ask them. You may find your spouse is holding on to the issues from months or even years ago. They may still be going through the process of forgiveness, but a heartfelt apology and a sign of repentance might be needed to improve your relationship.
4. Lay Down Your Lives for Each Other
Can you begin dating your spouse as a friend? As you spend more time together, your love for each other grows deeper and changes from "phileo" love to an "eros" or "agape" love. John 15:13 says, "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends."
But when a spouse has done many things to hurt you, it's easy to think only of yourself and not put your spouse's needs first. Your spouse needs you to protect them, stand up for them, and defend them when someone is doing wrong to them. To lay down your life means to give up all your comforts, including people's approval. When we choose to lay down our lives for our spouses, we are doing as Christ did, who sacrificed his own life, forsaking even the relationship with his Father to carry on the weight of our sin so that we could have the same relationship he has with his Father. Ask your spouse what they need you to lay down. Is it their preferences, creature comforts, or their need for approval? Commit to laying down whatever it is and standing in the way of a more intimate relationship with your spouse.
5. Pray Together with Shameless Audacity
One area spouses can neglect is their prayer life. They often pray on their own or quickly before bed. But they don't always have an intimate prayer life. They can share their most intimate prayer requests with each other and ask God in a way where they believe they will receive it.
Luke 11:5-8 tells us how we should pray: "Then Jesus said to them, "Suppose you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.' And suppose the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need."
This passage in Luke tells us God honors our obedience when we continue to pray for the desires of our hearts. Although the Lord may do things according to his will, they're always in our best interest. But that does not mean we shouldn't pray and ask God for the desires of our hearts, either. Find time a couple of times a week when you and your spouse can pray without shame and in solidarity. Pray for the country, your church, and your future as a couple. Spouses that pray together are more likely to have fewer arguments, and you have a better life overall.
We are called not only to be the church but also to be the reflection of Christ in our marriages. The verses above are merely suggestions but include ways you can incorporate familiar Bible verses into your marriage. Brainstorm together and think of other additional verses that you can incorporate. Increase communication by asking each other how they would best be able to fill this person in your life. God will honor the effort you are making in your marriage, and your relationship and personal spiritual growth will be greatly enriched because of it.
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Hall of Faith encourages kids to understand God can be trusted. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.