Why Do We Need Tears?
By Whitney Hopler
“Jesus wept.” – John 11:35 (NIV)
Tears flowed from my son Justin’s eyes when he told me that one of his preschool buddies would be moving to another state and they’d never get to play with each other again. I reached out to wipe away his tears. But he told me: “No, Mommy, don’t. I need my tears.” His comment stopped me. What good were tears? I saw them only as unfortunate reminders of pain. As much as possible, I avoided crying since crying seemed like a weakness to me. But as I watched Justin continue to cry, I wondered if tears may be more than just something to brush away.
Tears are a natural response to the pain we encounter in our fallen world. Crying is a vital way for us to let the energy of our emotions move through us so we can heal and learn from them. Research shows we can experience many well-being benefits from crying, including relieving stress and pain, improving our mood, and releasing toxins. Jesus cried after the death of his friend Lazarus. When Jesus saw Lazarus’ sister Mary and other people crying, “he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (John 11:6 NIV). Then, when Jesus saw Lazarus’ body, he cried (John 11:35 NIV). People who saw Jesus cry commented, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:36 NIV).
Crying is a way to express compassion as well as sorrow. Since Jesus let his tears flow, we can do the same. Jesus is our ultimate source of strength. His example shows us that crying isn’t a sign of weakness – but of strength. We need our tears to express our emotions in healthy ways. So the next time you feel the need to cry, don’t hesitate to let your tears flow. Our tears matter to God. He even carefully notes every tear we cry. Psalm 56:8 CEV says: “You have kept a record of my days of wandering. You have stored my tears in your bottle and counted each of them.” God says in Isaiah 38:5 NIV: “I have heard your prayer and seen your tears.”
God experienced sorrow just like we do when he lived among us as Jesus. He is deeply concerned about the pain his beloved children go through. God has something valuable to teach us when we cry – something we couldn’t learn without honestly expressing our sorrow. Crying can be a healthy spiritual practice that allows us to connect with our emotions and deepen our relationship with God. Letting our tears flow when we’re sad isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. The Bible teaches us crying is a natural and necessary expression of our humanity, and Jesus shows us it’s good to cry when we’re feeling sorrow.
When we allow ourselves to cry, we can be confident God will be there to comfort us. Not only that, but God will transform our tears into joy. Psalm 126:5 reveals that “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.” That’s possible because we can find joy anytime we pay attention to God’s presence with us. Crying can be a powerful way to welcome God’s presence into any situation that makes us feel sad. So, the next time you feel the urge to cry, don't be afraid to let your emotions out and turn to God for strength and comfort.
Intersecting Faith and Life:
As you reflect on the gift of tears, consider these questions:
- When was the last time you cried? What triggered your tears? Did you talk with God about that situation?
- Do you feel uncomfortable letting your tears flow? Or does crying help you feel better?
- What coping mechanisms do you use when you feel sad but don’t cry? Are those strategies helpful or harmful in the long run?
- How can you ask God to help you be compassionate toward yourself when you’re feeling sad and need to cry?
- What lessons can you learn from your experiences with crying and feeling sad? How can you use those insights to grow closer to God and become more resilient?
- How can you comfort or support others when they’re crying?
Further Reading:
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Cecilie_Arcurs
Whitney Hopler helps people discover God's wonder and experience awe. She is the author of several books, including the nonfiction books Wake Up to Wonder and Wonder Through the Year: A Daily Devotional for Every Year, and the young adult novel Dream Factory. Whitney has served as an editor at leading media organizations, including Crosswalk.com, The Salvation Army USA’s national publications, and Dotdash.com (where she produced a popular channel on angels and miracles). She currently leads the communications work at George Mason University’s Center for the Advancement of Well-Being. Connect with Whitney on her website at www.whitneyhopler.com, on Facebook, and on X/Twitter.
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