To embrace something means to welcome it with open arms. It means accepting someone or something for what it is and what it is not. It's the act of willingly supporting something. It is a journey of acknowledgment and vulnerability. It is learning to appreciate the good and the bad. It is the development of peace that comes with the ownership of oneself. Embracing or accepting something is a process that everyone has experienced at some point in life. Whether it was embracing or accepting something new or different, the path of embracing can't be evaded. Single life is a path that everyone has taken or one they are currently on. For some, it's an adventure that they never want to see end. For others, it's one they wish they could change immediately. Many people find it difficult to embrace the single life for a number of reasons. Some see it as a life sentence for loneliness. Others see it as one of the best times of their lives, and many create a sorted picture filled with ups, downs, and disappointments. While single life can be perceived in many different ways, it's important for singles to create an accurate picture of this season by fully embracing it for all that it is. If you're an unmarried individual grappling with accepting singlehood, look at the list below to discover ways to embrace being single.
1. Understand that being single is a gift.
Many people may disagree with this statement, but it is. Here's why. The season of walking without a spouse provides a person with time to grasp a clear vision of who they are and who they were created to be. Often people overlook the peace and blessings that come with living single because they are focused on an experience many of them believe they are ready for; marriage. Being single is the season in life that comes with the blessings of establishing standards for the life you deserve and desire, with or without a partner. It's the season when you can profoundly understand your purpose and walk in it. It's also the season when you can date freely to explore your options and understand your love languages as an individual and the love languages you will require in a future partner. Gifts are multifaceted and have different purposes. They serve as reminders to someone that they are loved or appreciated. They are given to brighten someone's day. They are often used as surprises, just to name a few. Just as physical gifts are used in different ways, your gift of singleness is also multifaceted. However, it is up to you to see it for the beauty it is.
2. Understand what being single means to you.
Being single has so many definitions that it can be confusing to those simply trying to figure out what it is for them. However, unmarried individuals need to have their own interpretation of what this relationship status is for them. If you're unsure of how you can gain this understanding, start by asking yourself the following questions; What does being single look like to me? Am I comfortable with my relationship status? How do I define singleness for myself? After asking yourself these questions, answer honestly and openly. To embrace singleness, you must be clear on what it means to you. Not to your friends. Not to your family, but to you.
3. Know whose you are and who you are.
This will confirm your worth. As a single Christian, you are a child of the Most High God. You were fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. Knowing that you are a child of the God Who sits high and looks low and cares deeply about you is the first step to knowing who you are and knowing your worth. Understanding that you are a child of God will give you a sense of pride in who you are and how you should view yourself, no matter your relationship status.
4. Establish a profound relationship with God.
When you develop a relationship with God, this means that you want to know Him better. It also means that you want to understand His purpose for your life. Your time of singleness is the best time to build your relationship with God. It will allow you to establish prayer time, time to meditate and study His Holy Word and walk in the purpose He has for you with His guidance. Having this relationship with God before you enter any other relationship will help keep you whole and Holy.
5. Get closure from your past relationships, even if it means you get it for yourself.
Many times when intimate relationships end, people don't understand the reasoning behind it. This can cause bitterness, self-doubt, and loneliness. Getting closure is important for embracing singleness because it allows one to gain an understanding of what happened, allows for healing, and the ability to move forward to a new season of being unattached. If you can't or haven't received closure from someone, make sense of things for yourself without doubting who you were in the relationship and move on. This is crucial to healing and taking positive steps during your single journey.
6. Establish meaningful relationships that are not rooted in romance.
Having a solid circle of family and friends who support you in every conceivable way is important whether you are single or not. Everyone needs a village of people who love and want the best for them, in and out of relationships. During your single tenure, be sure you have people around you that love you for who you are and don't pressure you into changing your relationship status.
7. Make and spend time with positive single friends.
This is especially important for singles from all walks of life. Spending time with people who share the same relationship status as you and who are positive about it will strengthen your perception of being single. It will also provide you with more than one perspective on how to live your best single life with people who enjoy it for what it is. There are so many negative images and myths about living single, so it's vital that you surround yourself with singles who live positively with their relationship status.
8. If you're struggling with embracing your singleness, take some time to discover why.
Make a list of things you like and dislike about it and walk through each reason. Your list can include relationships gone wrong, your truthful feelings of loneliness, or perceptions people may have created for you about being single. Once you've made your list, pray and ask God for clarity about your struggles and how to overcome them.
9. Don't be afraid to go to things by yourself.
Trust me; you won't be alone in your efforts. Taking trips or going on solo adventures is the best way to learn about who you are and what you like as an individual. This is good to know so you will see what you want to have in common with a potential partner.
10. You won't be single forever if you don't want to be.
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Long distance relationships, long-term, short-term. It simply depends on what your heart desires. For many singles, the ultimate relationship goal is marriage; however, the reality is that marriage may not be in God's will for your life, and that's more than okay. You can have various healthy, God-honoring relationships if you choose to do so. However, in order to know what those relationships look like, you have to know how another person can speak to your soul. In order to achieve that, you must first know what your soul requires as an individual.
11. Take some time and talk about the truth about marriage with a married couple who's willing to be transparent.
Many couples typically reveal the glamorous aspects of their marriage. Why? Because no one wants to air their dirty laundry. With this revelation, it may be best to reach out to a married couple willing to share their journey and the work they put into their marriage. Many singles only see marriage and relationships from one side, and getting a full view of everything that goes into them is important. Doing this can bring about a greater appreciation for being single.
These are just a few ways singles can embrace the single life. It is a gift that is often overlooked or not completely unwrapped because of the many negative perceptions of it that should be changed. No matter where you are on your single journey, embrace it for what it is. However, if you are unsatisfied with it, begin changing the narrative by taking some of the steps listed. Most importantly, begin your journey with a changed mindset of what it means to be single. You'll be surprised at how your life opens up to the endless possibilities of it.
Author Liz Lampkin is an experienced writer, teacher, and speaker. She is an advocate for singles who encourages them to live their best life God’s way. Follow her on Instagram @Liz_Lampkin.