July 11, 2023
You Can Walk Through Divorce and Be Better Than Okay
BRANDI WILSON
Lee en español
“Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.” Luke 2:38 (NIV)
Sitting in an office with stiff leather chairs and walls painted a depressing shade of beige, I took a deep breath and signed my legal name: Brandi L. Wilson.
I’d signed that name thousands of times since the moment I walked down the aisle toward the man I loved. A walk toward the person I planned on spending the rest of my life with — till death do us part. A walk that signified a beginning full of hopes for our future.
This time, the signing of my name signaled an end. An end to my marriage. An end to my current family unit. An end to being a wife.
No one foresees their marriage ending in divorce. No one expects to live through the division of a life they worked hard to create with the person they loved. Splitting Christmas decorations, furniture, savings accounts, and — the most difficult — time with children. No one delivers a baby, looks into that infant’s eyes, and thinks, I can’t wait to spend every other weekend and even-numbered-year Christmases with you!
Some of you know what I’m talking about. You yourself have gone through a divorce. And if you haven’t, chances are that someone you love has.
We all go through seasons of suffering that force us to question what we believe and who really loves us. Trust me — I wish I didn’t have to write about divorce, but I choose to share the value a season of suffering can bring.
One person who models hope in the midst of suffering is Anna, a prophetess we find in the New Testament.
Anna entered the story of Scripture when the infant Jesus was presented by His parents at the temple. Luke writes, “There was also a prophet, Anna, the daughter of Penuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying. Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem” (Luke 2:36-38, NIV).
We don’t know a lot about Anna, but we can gain insight into how her suffering strengthened her and brought her closer to God.
First, Anna chose worship over bitterness. After her husband’s death, Anna probably grew tired at times, wondering how much longer she’d be on those temple steps alone. Regardless of what she felt, she chose praise.
Second, Anna was committed to hope. Luke 2:37b says “she never left the temple” (NIV). She was committed to seeing the story of redemption play out in her life.
Third, Anna saw God in places where others didn’t. When the Savior of the world came to the place where she worshipped, she recognized Him immediately, even though He was only a baby. She had been focused on God with her whole being.
We follow a God who is with us in every experience of our lives, especially when we’re suffering. We can allow our dark times to draw us closer to Him so that we will see God at work in ways others might not. God opens our eyes to see beauty in brokenness.
As I signed “Brandi L. Wilson,” I knew I was devastated — but not destroyed. Moving forward wouldn’t be easy. But deep down, I knew I could heal.
And that’s what I did.
I don’t know what season you’re in. But wherever you are, know that this isn’t the end. And if you are going through what feels like hell right now, let me remind you:
You are worthy.
You are strong.
You’re going to make it through this.
You’re going to be better than okay.
Lord, walking through seasons of suffering is often more than I can handle. Help me look for You in my daily life. On days when I’m overwhelmed and life feels unfair, help me choose worship over bitterness. I want to remain committed to hope that can only be found through You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
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For practical guidance on finding hope and healing when your marriage ends, check out Brandi’s new book Better Than Okay.
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FOR DEEPER STUDY
Genesis 16:13, “[Hagar] gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me’” (NIV).
Sister, the Lord God sees YOU. Despite all that you’re going through, take a moment to write down the ways you know the Lord sees you. If you don’t feel seen right now, ask Him to show you; then write it down so you can remember and be encouraged.
© 2023 by Brandi Wilson. All rights reserved.
Proverbs 31 Ministries
P.O. Box 3189
Matthews, NC 28106
www.Proverbs31.org