Movies, television, and music give us definitions of what happiness is. In today's world, happiness is the ultimate goal to achieve. Whether it's through a romantic partnership, making lots of money, or landing that dream job, happiness seems to be just around the corner. Yet, as I grew older, I realized that happiness is a myth. Although having money to do the things you want to do or to land that dream profession might be good in the short-term, in the long-term, it never makes us happy. When we reach our goal, we may feel a short burst of happiness, but we're always thirsting for something else. Love and money are two great things, but they're not the things in life to chase after. Love and money can become idols in our lives if we're not careful. We can make idols out of anything through which we're trying to achieve our happiness. Even placing our happiness in our families or friends can be idols if we're not careful. Here is how I'm learning what real happiness means:
First, I consult Scripture. For any significant issue in life, I consult Scripture. As we study the people of the Bible, most of them had difficult lives according to today's standards. Although they were sometimes blessed with land, animals, and many wives, many characters still found themselves being unhappy. Solomon talks about this when he says, "I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind." Ecclesiastes 1:14.
One of the primary keys to happiness is having a life with purpose and meaning. We can only find purpose and meaning through God. When God directs our steps and leads us in the path he wants us for our lives, we will always have a purpose. Because we were being used for his ultimate plan of spreading the Gospel and doing the work of the Kingdom, we will always feel like we used our lives well. However, when we spend our lives chasing after things that make us happy, like positions, popularity, and possessions, we'll always find our lives empty. Some people from the Bible never even saw the ultimate goal that was promised. Life is not about achieving a big goal or realizing a huge dream, but rather being obedient to the steps God has directed you towards.
Second, I spend time with God. Some of the best moments of my life have been spent listening to and being the voice of God. It is not always easy to obey God's directions, but simply hearing his voice and believing God still wants to use me for his purposes is enough for me to achieve happiness. Simply hearing from God is an experience. We are hearing from our almighty God, and he chooses to use us to carry out his plans. Spending time with God is not only vital in my spiritual journey, but it also makes me feel closer to God. When I feel closer to God, I'm never alone. Doing life alone is why mental health issues like depression are on the rise. People who spend many hours of their time on social media feel so disconnected and alone from people. Knowing I have God by my side makes me feel like even in the worst circumstances, I have hope that there is a God who'll always direct my steps.
Third, I have hope. In my life, I have experienced many ups and downs. Some of the down seasons of my life have been the most trying. Many days during those seasons, I would wake up feeling like nothing would ever change and my life would always be that way. However, even when I would do that, God reminded me I always have hope. Stories throughout Scripture reinforce the idea that God can do the impossible. When we truly surrender our lives to him, he can work out so many things on our behalf. We have to let him. However, I am most unhappy when I'm trying to take control of my life. When I yield my life to him, giving up all the circumstances and trusting God will do what's in my best interest even if the situation does not go my way, it helps me to continue to have hope even in the worst situation.
Fourth, I focus on helping others. When I become selfish and turn my attitudes and desires toward only what I want, I'm extremely unhappy. The problematic part about ourselves is that we're never satisfied. We were born with a God-shaped void. We will always be unhappy if we don't use God to fill that void. When we choose to chase after things other than God, we find we never truly attain what we're looking for. When I give of myself to help others, I feel happy that I have helped make a difference in someone's life. We often see people doing extraordinary things and making a difference in the world in television and movies. While that's a lofty goal to achieve, I can simply focus on my community or neighborhood. What are the needs that surround me today? What can I do to help meet those needs? Maybe it's checking in on a neighbor. Maybe it's doing yard work for an elderly person in the community who doesn't have anyone to help them. Making a donation to my local food bank. Whatever it is, when I direct my focus onto others and not on myself, I can always turn my attitude from one of discontentment to one of contentment.
Fifth, I learned the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that comes and goes. Joy is an attitude that I can choose each day. I can have joy by renewing my mind with Scripture, changing my attitude toward the world around me, working as if it's my worship to God, giving freely, and helping others. Even when financial woes, health concerns, and marriage tensions abound, I can still choose joy through it all. Joy is the attitude that attracts unbelievers to believers. When we show the world that we have an attitude that's different than what others have or an attitude that is the opposite of what should be considering our circumstances, we are an example of Christ to the world. This helps me understand what joy truly means. When I renew my mind to understand that joy is a choice, not simply a result of my circumstances, it gives me hope that I can always choose joy and have the happy feelings that accompany it.
Happiness can be a good thing. But it is only a good thing if that's not the only thing that we're it's driving for. If we keep our minds focused on God and live our lives and sacrifice to others, we will live a life with purpose and meaning. When we choose to join the minister in difficult circumstances, we can have joy (and ultimately happiness) every day of our lives.
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Hall of Faith encourages kids to understand God can be trusted. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.