The Gift of a Secret Sister
By Laura Bailey
“So that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” - Matthew 6:4, NIV
Our women’s ministry introduced a new opportunity for fellowship called “secret sisters.” It’s a simple concept, but the impact on our church was significant. We were given the name of another lady at our church and tasked with encouraging her for the next few months. We could write a card, share a Bible verse, or give a little goodie, but most importantly, we committed to praying for our secret sister each day.
As the name implies, our chosen sister was meant to be kept secret until our reveal party scheduled for a few months later. It was an enjoyable way to encourage women of our church to pray for each other, get to know someone they may haven’t had the opportunity to engage with, and provide a steady diet of encouragement to a sister in Christ.
Our church experienced a period of high energy, a boost in Bible study participation, and an intense feeling of welcome and joy during the months we participated in this secret sister program. A friend shared with me that she wished we could continue the secret sister year-round; she loved how our women felt like they were seen, belonged, and loved.
Sometimes when we are involved in organized service opportunities, we forget that we don’t need a program, event, or group; there are numerous opportunities around us each day to be a “secret sister.”
Have you noticed that your neighbor's garden has gone untended this summer? Grab a pair of gloves, pull a few weeds, water her flower beds, and trim up some unruly bushes.
Has a co-worker shared that she is going through a messy divorce and worried that she wouldn’t be able to make ends meet? Enlist some friends and slip a grocery gift card into her box at work with an anonymous note to remind her she is loved!
Maybe a new mom confided that she struggles to meet her newborn's and active toddler's demands. Drop off a few goodies from the dollar store, bubbles, sidewalk chalk, or a big coloring pad, on her front door, with a note letting her know she is doing a great job!
Yes, there are numerous opportunities to fill a need, give a word of encouragement, and show the eternal hope of the Gospel to a hurting world. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a private donation, but I love these words from Jen Wilkin if we are wondering if we should share openly or in secret. She says, “ Show when tempted to hide, hide when tempted to show.”
Maybe like me, you sometimes struggle with the right heart motivation in these types of exchanges clamoring for recognition rather than giving for God's glory. If so, let us cling to Matthew 6:4, which prompts us to give in secret knowing that our Father in Heaven sees our good deeds and will reward us at the proper time. Jesus, in this passage of Scripture, points to our inner heart motivations; he cares more about our why than our what. This verse also comforts us that our service acts aren’t in vain, and God sees His people! And not only does He see our works in private, but He will receive an eternal reward, a wonderful gift from a gracious God.
By all means, have fun participating in secret sister and other secret exchanges, bearing in mind that we don’t have to wait for these special events to share God’s love with people!
Heavenly Father, thank you that you are God who cares about us and sees your children's needs. We are so grateful that we serve a mighty God, but one that still cares for every detail of our lives. Lord, we ask that we do and give with pure motives, convict us when we pursue charity for righteous gain, and help us as “we hide what we are tempted to show.” We love you, Lord, and are grateful for the gift of salvation that you freely give to those who accept you as Lord and Savior. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/MangoStar_Studio
Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply biblical truths to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and plentiful lives today.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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