Do you know how to encourage yourself? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across someone who’s fallen into the mindset of this always happens to me. Nor can I tell you how many times I’ve said this always happens to me. Whatever bad thing comes our way, big or small, we chalk the circumstance up to some inevitable, ill-fated reality. If suffering is a part of life, then suffering is our life. Even today, I sometimes fall into the trap of repeating that same tired line before remembering to encourage myself.
When bad things happen, especially repeatedly, falling into negative thinking becomes easy. Add unfair and unforeseen misfortune, and you have a recipe for despair. What reason do we have to think things will ever change? While the doubts are understandable on some level, too much negativity leaves us ensnared. We not only begin to expect bad things, but we create them too.
We settle for mediocre relationships and jobs. We allow people to mistreat or talk down to us. We even treat ourselves badly, saying what we can’t do and how we aren’t good enough. In the end, we don’t see ourselves the way God does. Nor can we see God the way we should.
What I’m sure you already know, but should be resaid anyway, is that pity doesn’t serve us. Feeling sad is okay, even human, but we can’t stay there forever. No matter how many relationships we have, there will come a time when either those relationships are gone or those very people just aren’t able to provide the support we desire. And no matter what we own, there will come a time when we lack or when the items that brought us comfort no longer serve us the same way.
When we find ourselves in such a place, disheartened and alone, where do we find encouragement? Here are five ways to encourage yourself today:
1. Read Scripture
Not only are some of us prone to negative thinking, but many are prone to forgetting as well. When the bad times come, the good times seem so far away, even if we just felt great yesterday.
By taking the time to read Scripture, we help ourselves recall what the Lord has done in our lives and the lives of other believers. We find verses to strengthen us in our time of need and give us direction when we aren’t sure what to do next. Forgetting is normal, but finding encouragement through God’s Word can be your normal as well.
2. Pray and Pray Some More
There’s no good reason not to pray, and living in this fallen world, there’s plenty of reason to pray. Every single day. Rather than turning to God as a last resort, seek Him out before, during, and after your struggle with hardship. God is ready and willing to hear our prayers, but too often, our negativity leads us to doubt that truth. And in doubting, we sulk in our own sad thoughts. We discourage ourselves. Don’t become trapped in your mind. Instead, take your concerns to God and watch as He brings His light to shine upon you.
3. Remind Yourself of Truth
Just like remembering Scripture can serve as encouragement, the same applies to other truths. Spend some time thinking about your strengths and what other people appreciate about you. Consider not just who you are but whose you are. When we take time to view ourselves in a positive light, we can oftentimes find a boost to persevere when we’d rather give up. Not only that, but discouragement often forms when we look down on ourselves. If you actively search for good traits about yourself, you have far less reason to doubt.
4. Smile
Staying upset is difficult when you’re constantly smiling. And when you’re focused on smiling, you’re constantly considering reasons why you should. You’ll find them at home, on the job, while you’re running errands. God blesses us more than we could ever possibly fathom. No wonder Paul encourages believers to dwell on positive things (Philippians 4:8). When we do, how we see life changes. We won’t be able to do anything but smile. Watch as the bad thoughts and the bad mood drift away when you start performing this small act, no matter what you’re facing.
5. Practice Gratitude
There’s nothing like an attitude of gratitude. Set aside some intentional time to thank God. In addition to thanking Him, find reasons to thank other people, too. And give thanks for more than what seems obvious - spending time together, praying together, being a friend. Unsurprisingly, when we are used to things, we don’t fully appreciate them. However, when we do, we feel better about the other person, ourselves, and much of everything else. Gratitude is like an ignition for encouragement.
Conclusion
These days, when the bad beliefs start to replay, and they certainly do, I remember to encourage myself. What I’ve come to realize is that all the things I thought I needed to find motivation, happiness, and peace were not necessary at all. So long as I can view God in a positive light, I can find encouragement today. And the same is true for you!
Again, I ask, do you know how to encourage yourself? I hope now that the answer is yes, and even if you answered yes before, I pray that you will find room to grow all the more.
There is and will always be a reason to worry or fear for as long as you and I live. That will never cease to be true. Yet, if you and I make the effort to change our perspective even a little, we will see that there is also always a reason to be grateful and to hope. God’s Word is true, and He is unchanging. Take solace in the love He has for you today.
If you’re looking for encouragement right now, don’t wait. Look up to the Lord and look within yourself. Smile.
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Milko
Aaron D'Anthony Brown is a freelance writer, hip-hop dance teacher, and visual artist, living in Virginia. He currently contributes to Salem Web Network’s Crosswalk platform and supports various clients through the freelancing website Upwork. He's an outside-the-box thinker with a penchant for challenging the status quo.
Get in touch with him at aarondanthony.com and check out his debut short story anthology Honey Dreams on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.