In today’s world, faithfulness is rare a commodity, with individuals finding it increasingly difficult to trust another person to be faithful to their word and commitments.
Unfaithfulness is displayed in politicians who fail to follow through on campaign promises, as well as employers who let staff go after decades of loyal service, and even more devastating, spouses betray marital trust.
Heartbreakingly, a relative’s best friend ran off with her husband. She didn’t see it coming, and it was devastating when the two people she wholeheartedly trusted the most in her life to be faithful to her dished out the ultimate betrayal.
Holding Ourselves Accountable in Marriage
It’s easy to overlook signs that others may be unfaithful in keeping their promises, forgetting what Luke 16:10 warns of: “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”
Still, when it comes to our own relationships, it’s vital we examine ourselves, especially in our marriages, to see where we can strengthen our faithfulness to our spouses in little things so that when it comes to the bigger things, we will be found faithful.
2 Corinthians 13:5 encourages us to “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test?"
6 Ways to Help Cultivate Faithfulness in Marriage
Following are six ways to help us cultivate faithfulness in our marriages:
1. Choose our friends wisely.
It’s wise to spend time with women who have worked out or are in the process of working out issues in their own marriages. Find like-minded wives who are committed to staying in their marriages, with an unwillingness to throw in the towel.
Like-mindedness in the friends we choose to hang out with can make all the difference in how we view our own marriage and affect our thoughts and actions. Choosing women willing to pray along with us and cheer us on will help us keep on course when trying times in marriage are at work to take us out.
Surrounding ourselves with women committed to fighting the good fight of faith for their own marriages is vital to our preserving our own marriages. 1 Timothy 6:12 urges, “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”
2. Fill our hearts and minds with God’s truth.
Colossians 3:2 directs us to, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
One way we can do this is by filling our hearts and minds with biblical wisdom and teachings that encourage longsuffering and endurance in marriage. 1 Corinthians 3:19 reminds us, “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God’s sight. As it is written, ‘He catches the wise in their craftiness.’”
If we fill ourselves with worldly wisdom concerning marriage and relationships that contradicts God’s Word, it stirs up doubt, causing us to question whether or not it’s true or right and leads to decisions that don’t line up with His truth. As James 1:8 explains, “Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.”
3. Honor our husbands with our words.
Speaking well of our husbands to others is vital to our marriages. Even in jest, it’s not good to make fun of, joke, or criticize them to others, because it matters to God how we speak about our husbands. Ephesians 5:33 urges wives to respect their husbands, which includes what we say about them.
Likewise, it matters to our husbands and reveals our true commitment to them and our marriage. Proverbs 31:11-12 describes how “The heart of her husband trust in her, and he lacks nothing of value. She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life.”
Rather than calling out our husband’s weakness to others, God calls us to do everything within our ability to bring honor to him.
4. Give our husbands undeserved privilege.
Look for ways to care for our own husbands, as if we are doing it for Jesus. In Matthew 25:40, Jesus explains how if we do something for the least of our brothers and sisters, we’ve done it for Him.
However, often, wives are more willing to do something for the least of these, like individuals they see as needing their help, but not so much their own husbands. Women may feel a husband can take care of himself or hasn’t earned or is deserving of their kind efforts towards him.
Truthfully though, all of us are undeserving, yet, God gives us a place of undeserved privilege, freely pouring out His love upon us in our unworthy state. Still often when it’s up to us, we want to determine if we consider our husbands deserving enough for us to do the same.
Romans 5:2 explains, “Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s Glory.”
5. Guard our husbands from loneliness.
It’s important to spend time with our husbands even if we might find it challenging at times to do. Although we may feel we need the support of Bible studies, friendships, and outside activities more than spending time with them, it’s wise to try and schedule these around our husbands’ schedules so that we can be available and present to spend time with them.
It’s too easy for a bored or lonely husband to be led astray, even one who isn’t looking for trouble. Genesis 2:18 says, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Sometimes it’s easy for us to just skip over a truth God is telling us, not taking it seriously enough to live it out. However, if God points out how a man’s loneliness is not good for him, we want to sit up and take notice because He didn’t speak this in a passing moment, or merely in observance, but as a deep truth about a man’s heart, as a truth wives are wise to keep in serious consideration.
6. Keep eternity at our forefront.
Relationships can be uncomfortable, unpleasant, and inconvenient at times, but earthly situations and circumstances don’t last forever. Rather than walking away from decades of marriage, we can ask God to help us look towards eternity.
This life is temporal with so much more to look forward to eternally. As 2 Corinthians 4:18 urges, “So fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Looking forward to our everlasting life with Jesus, with the hope of being with Him forever, can help us live each day with the joy of knowing where our future lies. 2 Corinthians 4:17 reminds us, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”
Cultivating faithfulness in marriage in an unfaithful world is possible with God’s truth to lead us, understanding regardless of other’s actions, God remains faithful. As Romans 3:3 assures, “What if some were unfaithful? Will their unfaithfulness nullify God’s faithfulness?"
Photo Credit: ©Sandy Millar/Unsplash
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.