This past weekend I spent two nights at a mom’s getaway with 23 other moms with kids of different ages. Some of us knew each other well and others of us had never met. Each time I venture out to these kinds of gatherings, there is a bit of anxiety that gets in the way of me wanting to actually attend. Will everyone get along? What will we talk about? Wouldn’t my time be better spent doing other things? How will my family manage without me at home?
Despite these worries, once I go, my soul is so abundantly blessed because being in the presence of like-minded, Jesus-loving women is powerful! It’s encouraging to hear the stories, struggles, convictions, and wisdom of other Christ followers on this parenting journey. There was not a single quiet moment in the house for the whole weekend because we each came expecting that this was a chance to get to know others and be more known ourselves. The mutual commitment to vulnerability as a community created quick bonds that will hold us together as we venture back home to serve our own families for God’s glory.
The key to the weekend’s success was brutal honesty and mutual vulnerability! I had the chance to hear of these women's daily struggles with their children, marriages, and more. Suddenly as the conversations unfolded, we all felt much less alone in our imperfect commitments to our families. Even more beautiful were the subsequent impromptu testimonies because as we shared honestly, we could give glory to the Lord for the ways he’s provided for us. A testimony can’t be shared unless we are transparent about our needs and how God met them.
1. Relationships Only Grow When We Are Willing to Be Mutually Seen
The older I get the more uninterested I am in acquaintances. The way I see it is that time is valuable, I have none to waste on people who aren’t willing to be real about who they are. This isn’t necessarily a good thing, but it comes from a realization that relationships only grow when we are seen. Seeing takes revelation that happens as we open our lives to others.
For some God calls us to be patient as we love someone long enough that they open their heart to reveal their truth. Other times we get so accustomed to keeping our conversations trivial that we never allow our friends or loved ones to truly know us. How can your people help you grow and change if the real you is always hiding?
This principle is even true in our walk with the Lord. God promises us freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17) but that freedom only happens when we invite Jesus to be the ruler of our lives (Romans 10:9). God can only change our lives when we open our hearts to him!
2. Sharing Is a Way to Give God Glory
God tells us over and over in scripture to ‘remember his deeds’ (Psalm 77:11). In our current culture, we don’t make offerings or landmarks to remember God. Recall happens when we tell the story of our lives with the people we come in contact with. At one point I felt really uncomfortable talking about my life until God convicted my heart. He reminded me I’m supposed to remember how he has provided. This is for my good and his glory, as it's so easy for us to forget.
As a result of this conviction, I’ve started to introduce the basic facts of our life as the testimony it is. Where does your husband work? Well, he works here but it’s a miracle he has that job! When he got it he was actually in no way qualified for it! How many kids do you have? We have five but God has put together our family in a special way, let me tell you how he has provided for us! Where do you live? Actually, we have a miracle house that God brought us right when we needed it. This also helps me when I get frustrated with my house (as it breaks), my kids (as they are hard), and my husband’s work (it’s not perfect).
Every one of us has things we can give God glory for in our stories! Are we making a point to give him credit and let others know what he has done? It takes practice, it feels weird, but it is a powerful way to remind us that God is alive and active and cares about every detail of our lives.
3. Being Vulnerable Breaks Down Walls and Helps Create Meaningful Community
Have you ever felt like you must be the only one that has a certain struggle? Do you ever feel ashamed of how you’ve failed? Shame, loneliness, secrecy, and isolation keep us from finding freedom and growing a real community around us.
I struggled with depression and anxiety for years. When the days were bad, I would cry alone, usually in my car, wondering why I was the only person I knew who was broken in this one terrible way! Turns out that is not true at all, as I’ve shared about my own struggle, many others have confirmed that they also have battled their own minds. It’s those conversations that led me to finally get on medication that has brought healing to my mind and body that I was unable to attain on my own.
Our world wants to highlight our differences. All around us dividing lines are being drawn in our culture but the truth is we all have more in common than we think. Those of us who follow Christ are regarded as “brothers and sisters” (1 John 4:20) meaning we all share a heavenly Father. This common ground is the glue that brings unity to our community. We are each a part of the body of Christ, and we can only appreciate each other's God-given roles when we are willing to open up about the strengths and weaknesses that we each have.
The bottom line is that we all need to take a little more risk when it comes to our relationships. Hurt is a real possibility, and the enemy of our souls keeps that fear in front of our faces, so we never realize that true joy and connection is the more likely outcome of our willingness to be real and committed to the believers in our lives. Ecclesiastes 2:9-12 tells us that two is better than one because we get more done together and that’s the truth. We need each other.
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Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.