Life on this side of Eternity is full of oxymorons. As a day that intends to celebrate love and connection, for many, it is just the opposite. Valentine’s Day for many becomes “SAD” or “Singles Awareness Day” and, in turn, is one of loneliness and the feeling of lack. How, then, can we seek to redeem Valentine’s Day even if you are single?
The Purpose of Valentine’s Day
The history of Valentine’s Day swirls with lore as to its roots, but many credit it to the martyr, St. Valentine. According to legend, St. Valentine signed a note to his jailer’s daughter, “from your Valentine,” which is why cards and notes are exchanged on Valentine’s Day, and the day of his feast is February 14th, which is why mid-February is the day for the holiday. It has also been said that St. Valentine broke orders given by the government and in secret married couples, which spared husbands from being sent to war. Whatever the actual roots are, these tales have been passed down and, in time, have had the common thread of friendship, love, and unexpected kindness. With this in mind, it challenges singles to rethink what the holiday is really about. It is far more than stuffed bears and expensive dinners with a sweetheart.
How to Shift Perspectives
Perspective is a choice, and when we choose to look at things from a positive perspective, it has the power to make an experience that is beneficial rather than a bitter swig of sorrow. As hard as it is to potentially be single for a holiday where romance is the main reason to celebrate, we must remember that romantic love is not the only type of love in this life. Love can come in many different forms, not just romance. Perhaps this holiday you could choose to love on family members especially, thanking them for standing by your side. Friendship is another type of worthwhile and graciously given love, and perhaps a “Galentine’s Day” or celebration of your friendships could see affection and attention this year. You may even find that you are called to work at a nursing home, a children’s hospital, or a homeless shelter, caring for those who could desperately use some love in their lives. Invite the greatest love of all through Christ to dwell within you and to move your focus towards what He would have for you this year. It may surprise you to see that He calls you out of a narrow scope of what is missing and thrusts you into a place of service where you find more of His love, love from others, and what it really means to celebrate St. Valentine’s Day like St. Valentine.
Conscience Efforts
Making a conscious effort not to avoid the holiday but to celebrate it in the best way God has for you to celebrate it this year will yield the fruit of experience. Ask the Lord to make it clear to your heart and spirit what He might have in store because, more than likely, it will not be something you considered previously. When we make the conscious effort to invite the Lord into situations, it is then that we can experience the journey of a God-written testimony to share, which benefits more than just those He may call us to serve. You will see the fruit of giving, loving, and being the hands and feet of Christ by offering yourself as a vessel this Valentine’s Day. Take the risk, ask Him to use you this holiday, and be prepared for a story to tell for years to come.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Offering yourself as a vessel this Valentine’s Day does not mean you squash or silence your own feelings. When one is single, they often are overcome with a feeling of lack; it almost feels as if that precious seat you’ve been saving for someone special has a thick layer of dust upon it as it remains empty. Don’t deny your feelings; instead, bring them before the Lord. It is not as if He does not already know you are hurting or aching for love; even in the paradise of Eden, the first man, Adam, felt this ache. God, in His perfect way, timing, and authoring, satisfied this desire within Adam, and He can do it in your life, too. Your person may not arrive by February 14th, but that does not mean this time is without purpose. God may be using this time to prepare your heart for the one that will walk and journey in this life with you, and you will see in retrospect that God had it the entire time. Place your honest feelings before the Throne of God, and place before Him your desires as well. Know that God sees your tears and cares richly for you, even in the pain and struggle. Psalm 56:8 reminds us that He knows, “You keep track of all my sorrows.[a] You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Know that you don’t go unseen, and your feelings are valid and matter. But also know this time holds so much more than just tears for you.
Allowing God to Redeem
The way to redeem Valentine’s Day for singles is to invite God in to redeem far more than just a single day. This is a great time to reflect upon the realities of life, the honest feelings you have, and the sincere desires that are yet to be fulfilled. It is also a time to allow space and time for God to speak, act, or reveal to you what He desires for you to know during this period. Even if your words seem to be given no reply in the immediate, know that God is always working, always doing, and always there with you. Revelation 21:5 reminds us, “And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also, he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Perhaps this season is one where you pour out love and find redemption in new, unexpected ways through friendship, godly brotherhood, or through connection with strangers. Perhaps this is a time to focus solely upon the love of God Himself and to fall more deeply in love with Him as our First Love, the greatest love there could ever be, or perhaps it is a time to love yourself a bit. Ask the Lord how He desires to redeem this holiday to be one that you reflect upon in years to come as a day of celebration and joy, even if that seat next to you remains unfilled. Remember more than anything that God is love, and His love upon us is the greatest gift we could ever hope to receive. Don’t underestimate how God will make a new thing and redeem this day for you.
Cally Logan is an author and US History teacher from Richmond, Virginia. Her works have been featured on "The 700 Club Interactive," “Jesus Calling Blog,” and “Coffee and Bible Time,” among several notable outlets. She served as a mentor for young women for several years and enjoys challenging women to develop deeper relationships with God and to live fearlessly and authentically. She received her B.A. Degree from Regent University. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time in nature, having genuine chats over coffee, and woodworking. Her new book, The Wallflower That Bloomed, is available everywhere now. Connect with Cally: @CallyLogan Instagram CallyLogan.com