“The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Proverbs 15: 4 NIV
As I poured my coffee, waiting for the jolt of caffeine to kick-start my day, I mindlessly grabbed my phone. I braced for the flood of e-mails that accrued while I slept but noticed I’d received a text in the middle of the night.
Clicking on the little message icon, I was surprised to see the contents. The previous night, a group of girls got together to grab dinner and catch up. The text was from one of my friends asking for forgiveness over something she had playfully said during the night. It took me a few beats to recall what she had said, but I quickly tapped back, “Nothing to forgive; I knew it was a joke, no harm done.”
I couldn’t help but think about my friend’s text as I went about my day. It touched my heart that she was bothered at the mere thought of her words offending that she made an extra effort to seek forgiveness.
I felt that familiar sense of conviction in my heart. How many times had I meant something as a joke, but it could have been hurtful to the recipient? Even worse, how often had I ignored the prompting to ask for forgiveness, knowing that what was meant in fun had caused harm?
Have you ever found yourself in one of these scenarios?
Your friend, notorious for being late, sends a message that she is running behind. You joke that she would be late for her own birthday party, and while she laughs it off, she is quiet during your time together.
You see that your sister-in-law has brought the store-bought dessert to the family gathering once again. Playfully, you ask if her oven still has the plastic wrapping on the top. She brushes off your comment, but you find the dessert’s leftovers thrown in the trash.
Your husband may mention needing to go up a pant size. Flippantly, you tell him it might be good for him to skip a meal or two. He pats his stomach, trying not to let it show it hurt him, but over the next few days, there’s tension in the air.
Guiltily, I have been a part of all three scenarios above, and shamefully, I let it go instead of seeking forgiveness for unintentionally (or maybe intentionally) causing hurt. Our key verse, Proverbs 15:4, tells us, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
What do you think of when you hear the word "soothing"? I think of my grandmother’s gentle touch and lyrical voice as she sang me to sleep. The meaning of soothing is to calm or bring comfort to. Conversely, a perverse person is someone whose actions are unreasonable or unhelpful. Ouch. How many times have my words fallen into both of these categories?
I’ve heard that the average woman speaks almost 5,000 words a day; for those of us with the gift of gab, I am sure that number is nearly double! That’s a lot of opportunity to provide life-giving words of encouragement or spirit-crushing quips. There will be times when we unknowingly say something hurtful, but might we be people who are so in tune with the Holy Spirit that if we feel prompted, we ask for forgiveness from those we’ve offended?
“Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Proverbs 26:24 NLT). May our speech be sweet-filled, dripping with kindness, and life-giving.
Heavenly Father, we are thankful for the gift of words. We know that words matter to You, and the power of life and death is in the tongue. We ask that our speech be seasoned with salt and that our conversations bring You glory. When our words have offended, they prick our hearts, stirring us to seek reconciliation and forgiveness. We are thankful You are patient with Your children and willing to forgive us when we sin against You. We love You, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo Credit: ©SWN
Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply biblical truths to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and plentiful lives today.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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