“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” Philippians 3:13
Have you ever wished for a time machine to travel back through the years to correct, undo, or stop a past choice, decision, or action? Books, films, and shows love to explore the possibilities of being able to go back in time to correct a past failure.
If there were time machines, I would be one of the first to sign up, knowing there have been times in my life when I’ve let my family and friends down. If possible, I would jump at the opportunity to make things right.
Telling ourselves to “not look back” is easier said than done because letting go of past failures is hard to do, especially if they deeply and irretrievably affected those we love.
Decisions we did or didn’t make can have lasting effects on the lives of others and our own, bringing heartaches and consequences we didn’t anticipate, desire, or see coming.
It’s difficult for us to forgive ourselves when our failures involve letting friends and family down, where our decisions and actions, or lack of them, hurt others.
Often, we beat ourselves up because we missed or failed to see opportunities to be there for someone or make a real difference in their situation. Sometimes it’s because we didn’t understand what was needed, other times it’s because we didn’t know how to help, and then there are the times we were distracted with our own lives and failed to reach out at all.
It’s important for us to know that it doesn’t help anyone to be unforgiving of ourselves for our shortcomings. We must realize that it can be challenging to know how to walk alongside individuals in various situations, especially if we lack their shared experiences. In our unawareness, it’s easy to miss opportunities to encourage and minister to individuals.
Sadly, too, at times, we may have unknowingly caused additional heartache to those we love by making situations worse with our lack of understanding of what they were going through.
Still, even when we fail others, God wants us to know that He doesn’t fail us. Lamentations 3:22-23 encourages us to know that “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”
When we mess up, we can ask God to forgive us because His compassion towards us is new every day. We can also ask others to forgive us for our failed attempts to help, praying they’ll recognize that in our weaknesses, we let them down.
Hopefully, they’ll see that if we did try, we just didn’t have the insight or experience to know how to help them and appreciate that at least we tried to help by being there and reaching out, even if we failed.
1 John 1:9 reminds us that “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Nonetheless, past failures with people have a way of holding us back, paralyzing us at times, where we seem stuck in time and unable to move forward, afraid of making the same mistakes again. But Isaiah 43:18 urges us to “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.”
To go forward with people, we have to be willing to let go of our past failures and keep moving ahead, trusting God to help us. 2 Corinthians 5:17 explains, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
When unsure how to help others, we can trust God’s leading through His Word because, as Luke 1:37 explains, “... no word from God will ever fail.”
We can also know that we are not alone in our walk with God but are being cheered on in life by those who have gone before us. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).
Let’s Pray:
Dear Father,
Help us today to forgive ourselves for past failures with people and to move ahead by fixing our eyes on Jesus. Lead us in looking toward the future with the joy set before us.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/valio84sl
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
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