A Prayer for When You Don't Feel Like Forgiving
By Laura Bailey
“But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” - Genesis 50: 19-20 NIV
“Tell your sister you are sorry,” I instructed my daughters. My girls had been fighting all afternoon, a minor tiff that started over something small and escalated within minutes. A door slammed, a finger pinched, and egos bruised. In hopes of beginning the reconciliation process, I encouraged the girls to apologize, forgive each other, and return to playing. They grumbled out a few, “I’m sorry,” but forgetting the “harm” done and moving on, they weren’t quite ready for that.
As a mother, it’s easy to point out and address my children's selfish behavior. I admonish them to forgive quickly, especially when the infractions are minor. Unfortunately, though, I don’t always take my advice.
- My husband makes a harmless comment about the dishes in the sink, and I give him the silent treatment for the next few days.
- Someone has parked in my assigned parking spot at work. It’s raining, and I don’t have an umbrella. I stay annoyed all day, being short with my co-workers.
- A fellow church member critiqued my choice in front of a group. They weren’t rude in their remarks, just sharing an opinion, but I bitterly snapped back a biting remark.
In the grand schemes of life, these are minor grievances that should be quickly forgiven and forgotten. But what about when someone causes permanent damage, when the harm done has lasting consequences?
The story of Joseph and his brothers speaks to just this: how do we forgive the people who inflict pain and suffering on us? Joseph and his brothers experience a bad case of sibling rivalry. Joseph was his father’s favorite son, and all his children knew it. It didn’t help the sibling relationship when Joseph shared a dream that implied his brothers would one day serve him( Read Genesis 37-50 to understand the full story of Joseph better). The brothers decided they had enough of Joseph and sold him into slavery. Joseph ends up in Egypt, and after a rough patch of being wrongly accused and imprisoned, he becomes Pharaoh’s right-hand man. The land had a famine, and Joseph was responsible for food distribution. His brothers reconnect with Joseph ( unknowingly at first) as they had to travel to Egypt to buy food for their families.
This is where we pick up in our key verse, Genesis 50:19-20, “But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” Joseph, who endured intense trials because of his brother’s actions, forgives them, choosing to leave the judgment to God, and then encourages them that though they acted sinfully, God used it to save the lives of many!
God is always working in our lives. It can be hard to think about how God will use our pain and suffering for our good in a difficult situation. But, we can cling to the eternal hope in Jesus Christ and, with great confidence, know that God is working all things for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28). There will be times when reconciliation may not be an option, but we can choose to forgive. We can release the need to feel vindicated, knowing that our Father in Heaven sees and is the righteous judge. We can forgive others, even when we don’t feel like it, because God forgives us.
Let’s pray:
Most gracious Heavenly Father, thank you for being the One who sees. Lord, thank you for being slow to anger but quick to forgive. Help us to be people who forgive those who have hurt us and when able to reconcile. Let us abandon feelings of bitterness, choosing instead to ignore, freely offering mercy and love, just as we, ourselves, have received from You. We love you, Lord. Through the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can surrender our lives to You. Help us, when our faith is wavering, to walk confidently in Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/PeopleImages
Laura Bailey is an author and Bible teacher who encourages women to understand what they believe, why it matters, and how to apply biblical truths to their lives. Her recent book, Embracing Eternity in the Here and Now, explores how the timeless truths of Ecclesiastes help us live more peaceful, purposeful, and plentiful lives today.
She lives in Upstate South Carolina with her husband and three young girls, where she serves as director of women's ministries at her church. Her passion is teaching the Bible to women, equipping them to live with an eternal perspective. Invite Laura to speak at your next event or learn more: www.LauraRBailey.com
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