It hit me out of nowhere as I was driving to work one morning. I was praying for my adult daughters and asking God to give them favor in their jobs. I was also asking God to provide work for them that wasn’t stressful, as well as asking Him to provide whatever needs they might have. Thinking about my three beautiful daughters, I was reminded of the fact that they were all educated at home, and all of them went on to college and graduated with honors. As mothers, we don’t want to see our children suffer or struggle, which explains the heart behind my prayer. And let’s be honest with ourselves. When our children suffer, so do we. We don’t want to suffer or struggle either.
Two things stood out to me from this experience during my morning commute. The first thing that I truly had not thought of before was that all three of my girls are functioning as productive, healthy adults contributing to society. The two who are married are raising children of their own and doing a great job. And isn’t that what we want as moms? We want to see our children thriving. The revelatory a-ha moment for me was realizing that I had played a part in my daughters’ thriving as adults, and I had done a good job. I made a difference in their lives. I impacted them. It was a good reminder that as a mother in the second season of life, I still had a significant role to play in their lives.
As Christian women, the journey of motherhood doesn’t end when our children leave our homes. In fact, it enters a second season, one filled with new opportunities to reflect on our role and impact as mothers. This second season is not defined by the daily tasks of feeding, clothing, and training young children but by the enduring legacy of life in Christ that we impart to our adult children and also our grandchildren when they come into our lives.
With fresh eyes that aren’t as tired as they once were when we were in the thick of motherhood, this second season of life for us as moms takes on new meaning. We observe our adult sons and daughters running a household and navigating the challenges that come with unexpected repair expenses, caring for sick children, and making decisions that are best for their families. There are also significant moments filled with love, laughter, and joy when they are planning and celebrating milestones and special occasions with their immediate and extended families.
Let’s be real for a moment. As human beings, we all want to know that our lives matter for something. And yes, my a-ha moment as I was driving to work confirmed for me that mine did. To all the second-season-of-life moms out there, your life matters. You made a difference. You are making a difference. Motherhood is not a one-and-done type of thing that ends when your children leave the nest.
You Are Significant, Mom
Rest assured that you, as a beloved child of God, have what it takes to still make a significant impact in the lives of your children, no matter their age, because:
-You are made in the image of God.
“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” Genesis 1:27 (NASB)
-You are a new creation.
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NASB)
-You are a child of God through faith.
“For you are all sons and daughters of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:26 (NASB)
-You are in Christ, and Christ is in you.
“On that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you are in Me, and I in you.” John 14:20 (NASB)
-God’s power works within you.
“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us.” Ephesians 3:20 (NASB)
-You are a child of light.
“for you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light.” Ephesians 5:8 (NASB)
1 Peter 2:9 reminds you that, “you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
Remind Them of Who They Are in Christ
The second thing of note that I realized during my morning drive to work is that I was asking God for things that He has already given my daughters because they are His children too. 2 Peter 1:3 tells us that we, as believers, have everything we need for life and godliness, and Ephesians 1:3 tells us that we are blessed with every spiritual blessing. I needed to remember that the moment my daughters put their faith in Jesus as their Lord and Savior, they received all of Him—His peace, His joy, His abundant life, His rest, and His freedom. Most of us forget these things and keep striving to achieve the things that our loving Heavenly Father has already given us.
This second season offers an opportunity to shift our perspective from one of scarcity to abundance. Instead of continually seeking God for what He has already provided, we learn to rest in His promises and trust in His provision. Scripture assures us of God’s faithfulness and encourages us to cast aside doubt and fear, knowing that He is always present with us.
God’s Word tells us to renew our minds in Christ. “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2 (NASB). We need to line our thinking up with what God thinks about us. In this second season of motherhood, we have the privilege of reminding our adult children of their identity in Christ. We affirm that their worth is not contingent upon worldly achievements or societal standards but rooted in the unchanging truth of God’s love for them and their relationship with Him. As we share the life we have in Christ, we impart a legacy of faith that transcends generations.
In this second season, Mom, with a perspective of what we already have in Christ, your conversations with your adult children can gently shift conversations of defeat and “I can’t” to reframing with an “I can” mindset. The way we view situations and experiences can dramatically affect our well-being. You have the opportunity to be a cheerleader for your children, reminding them of who they are in Christ, as they navigate hard things that come as a result of life in this world.
Reflecting on the lives of our adult children, we see the result of years of prayer, sacrifice, and guidance. We see how our efforts, rooted in faith, have shaped them into individuals who not only thrive in their personal and professional lives but who also exemplify God’s love and grace. Our contribution to our children's lives never stops even after we are no longer physically present on this earth. Let’s celebrate the impact we have made and continue to make in their lives, knowing that our legacy extends far beyond the confines of this earthly realm.
Photo Credit: ©evegenyatamanenko
Renee Bethel, author of Finding Me: A Woman’s Guide to Learning More About Herself, is a Professional Christian Life Coach and a Certified Enneagram Coach. Her passion lies in guiding growth-minded Christian moms towards embracing their identity in Christ and finding freedom in the finished work of Jesus. If you're ready to change the way you view yourself and your place in the world, join her FREE 31-Day Challenge to Embrace Your Identity in Christ.