Almost every family I know has at least one child in their home that comes with a label. These days navigating the world of medicine, therapies, diagnosis, and special needs is now a pretty common part of the parenting journey. This road towards better supporting our kids comes with a lot of anxiety as we all want to diligently do all we can to support and love our kids well.
I personally believe in gaining a diagnosis for your child when you suspect there is something that is impeding them from reaching their milestones. This information is helpful to better support our kids, empathize with them, and understand their strengths and weaknesses. I love how one friend's son took his diagnosis of being on the Autism Spectrum as his Super Power! He saw the strengths that come with the specific way his brain works as something to celebrate.
My own kids come with brains that work differently. For me, talking to others who have gone before me on this road, reading all I can about what we know about these differences, and praying over my kids' futures has helped me tremendously as we are just beginning to better understand their needs. It’s a journey that takes openness and flexibility. We have to ask so many questions, and we have to be advocates for our kids in the communities they live in.
We have to be willing to explore every option we can to help our kids thrive, and I believe that, at times, medication can be a necessary and helpful way to support our kids. Yet, with anything we put in our bodies, there are risks and drawbacks to giving our kids medication. There are some things we can do to help support our kids before implementing meds and these things can also better support our kids while on meds as well!
1. Explore Occupational Therapy
I had no idea how versatile OT can be when it comes to supporting kids and families. I always thought of OT as something you used to help with gross or fine motor delays, but if you find the right place, they can help with so many other things that help support kids. They can help with impulse control, following directions, study skills, emotional regulation, coping skills, body awareness, social skills, and more!
Kids with a trauma history, ADD, ADHD, ODD, ASD, SPD, learning disabilities, and more can be supported through a knowledgeable occupational therapist. If you are working through a diagnosis, start by seeing if your insurance will support the implementation of OT.
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2. Explore How Diet Could Be Impacting Your Child
Nutrition impacts our behavior. As adults, we sort of intuitively know this because we comment on how we need our caffeine to keep going, how sleepy we are after a big meal, or how yucky we feel after splurging on a high-fat meal. The same is true for our kids, and some kids are even more sensitive than others to unhealthy substances that are in so many “kid-friendly” foods.
Sometimes, a small change in diet can make a big impact on how our kids are able to function. Our kids need regular balanced meals that offer them a variety of vitamins and minerals. This can be really hard if you have picky kids! Truly, it’s also a big task for us parents; I often fail at creating healthy meals for my kids just because I get tired. My energy, willpower, and time get pulled away from food because it's required for many more things. Yet, I do know that food matters in our home!
For some of my kids, I discovered that their allergies and constipation issues were connected to a gluten intolerance. Cutting this one food out of their diets resolved the other health issues they had been dealing with. It took a willingness to do some trial and error to find what worked best for them, but sometimes small changes can really make a huge impact!
I know other families that have avoided food dyes in order to not trigger certain behaviors in kids. Adding a quality multivitamin can also help balance your kids' bodies. If you have an extra picky kid, working with a food therapist can help give you strategies on how to better diversify your kid's eating habits. I have one kid who is highly impulsive and loves sugar. For that one I have to make sure I keep sugary treats and junk food out of our house or hidden away if I don’t want it found and sneakily devoured. Food is tricky but we have to make sure we are supplying our kids with the nutrients they need to thrive.
3. Consider Seeing a Chiropractor
I have personally heard from many Mommas particularly with kids that struggle with impulse control how helpful chiropractic care has been to their ability to self-regulate. Every part of our mind and body are connected. When one part is out of line there are ramifications that we see expressed in a variety of ways.
While more research is needed there are studies that support the claim that regular chiropractic care has a positive impact on the behavior of children. Chiropractic care also boosts the immune system, can help with sleep, digestion, and allergies, helps prevent injury, and boosts moods! These are all great reasons to explore this option in your home.
4. Consider an Alternative Educational Model
For many kids some of the reason they are struggling “behaviorally” is because they are struggling with the educational model that they are in. If you have the resources, considering how you can better support your kids' ability to thrive in their daily lives is a huge gift to your kids. In a public school setting you can request an evaluation in order to see what modification or support may be necessary for your kids to thrive in the classroom. Don’t hesitate to request these steps to be taken. It's often a long process for a child to be assessed and for changes to happen in the class.
Sometimes, homeschooling can be a wonderful place for kids who have behavioral challenges to thrive. I say sometimes because there is no one-size-fits-all model for our kids. I have a kid that I homeschool who struggles with ADD. It’s taken him longer than most to read fluently, do math well, and basically master any of the typical academic skills we look for kids to master in class. But he has got there! He is in fifth grade and really doing well, but he didn’t read till nine. What he did excel in was building forts outside, jumping on the trampoline, tinkering with Legos, and playing pretend with his siblings. He never needed medication because he had the flexibility to learn at the pace and style he needed without the pressure of standardized tests causing us all a lot of anxiety.
I have some other kids that need the structure of a class to thrive. They deal with anxiety and need a consistent daily routine to stay regulated, which is best accomplished through a small private classroom. In my own family, what my kid needs when it comes to education varies and will change over their own lives, too. Considering alternatives to the traditional classroom model with 30 rambunctious kids with one teacher can be huge in our kids' success and, if anything, can help us delay the administration of medications until their bodies are more developed.
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5. Keep Your Kids Bodies Moving
Movement is vital in the regulation of your body. Studies show that even just 30 minutes of exercise a day can help children manage ADHD tendencies. If you have a kid with a sensory issue or regulation issue you see them seeking input however they can. This often looks like bad or dangerous behavior. My kid jumping off the stairs, throwing a rock at someone, yelling loudly when they don’t get their way, touching things always, and the list goes on! They need input to stay regulated.
I’ve found tricks like having gum and lollipops on hand can help in a pitch. Chewing gum is an easy way for your kid to get that input and helps them stay focused. Bear hugs can help, weighted blankets, yoga, dance, stretching, jumping on the trampoline, running, swimming, fidget items, and more. Giving our kids lots of big and little ways to move their bodies is hugely helpful to their brains and bodies.
6. Monitor Screen Use
When you have a “tough” kid, screens can become an easy go-to in order to help maintain peace and tranquility in your home. I GET IT. I also am really guilty of relying on screens to take the pressure off with my kids. Grace is important to embrace as parents! But screens can become addictive, they have negative effects on our kids, and they also get in the way of them engaging in more healthy activities such as free play, exercise, games, and more.
Some ideas are implementing “no screen days” so your kids know from the start of the day that screens will not be a part of the way we use our time. Placing time limits on your devices, limiting the number of devices in your house, making certain time that is set aside for screens, making a checklist of things that need to be done before screen time, and more. Find what works for your home to make sure screens don’t get in the way of healthy habits.
Medication is a tool in a big toolbox that parents can access when supporting their kids. Medication can be life saving, hugely beneficial to our kids and homes, and should not be ruled out when helping our kids learn and grow. Personally, I have found that I need antidepressants to live a balanced and healthy life. It took me years to come to terms with this reality as an adult, but I’ve learned to be grateful for this tool in my life. But we need to make sure we do what we can to take a holistic approach when considering our kids' needs and our own. Now, on meds, I still do all the things that helped me stay healthy, and it just keeps me that much more regulated. The same is true for our kids; if we need to use medication, pairing it with other tools only gives them more support!
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Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is to encourage others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for My Daily Bible Verse Devotional and Podcast, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, the Daily Devotional App, she has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.