Prayer Is Relational, Not Just Transactional
By Whitney Hopler
“…the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” – Romans 8:26-27, NIV
Thoughts of several serious and complex situations swirled around in my mind on a prayer walk. I wanted to give my best effort to praying for those situations and the people involved. I had even traveled to an international prayer retreat in Ireland, where I learned fresh ways of praying for our world. But I got so caught up in the details that I didn’t seem to know how to begin. Finally, I did something simple yet significant: I asked the Holy Spirit to help me pray. I just told God’s Spirit that those situations were on my mind and heart, and asked the Spirit to intercede to do what’s best for everyone involved. Then I continued walking prayerfully, paying attention to however the Spirit led me, and trusting God would hear and answer the prayers. It was a wonderful partnership, where God met me where I was with his Spirit. It was like we prayed together.
Prayer at its best is relational, not just transactional. Too often, we think of prayer only as a transaction – a list of requests that we present to God and expect God to answer in return. However, Romans 8:26-27 reveals a profound truth that transforms our understanding of prayer: it is inherently relational. This verse reassures us that the Holy Spirit is actively involved in our prayers, especially when we’re uncertain about what to pray for. God’s Spirit helps us in our weakness. This simple yet powerful statement reminds us that we are not alone in our prayer lives.
There are moments when our minds are confused, our hearts are heavy, and words fail us. In those moments, the Holy Spirit steps in, interceding on our behalf with groans that words cannot express. This is not a mechanical process, but a deeply connected one where the Spirit – who knows our innermost thoughts and feelings – communicates directly with the Father. The Spirit intercedes for us according to God’s will, aligning our prayers with God’s perfect plan. This means that our prayers are not just about presenting our desires, but about aligning ourselves with God’s desires. As we lean into the Spirit’s guidance, our prayers become a conversation based on intimacy and trust.
Consider the difference this can make in how you approach prayer. Instead of coming to God with a checklist, you can come with an open mind and heart, willing to be shaped and guided by his Spirit. Your prayers become less about getting what you want and more about developing a deeper relationship with God. This relational approach transforms prayer into an ongoing conversation where you listen as much as you speak, trusting that the Holy Spirit will guide you even when you don’t know the words to say. In this dynamic interaction, you’re invited to pause, reflect, and be still, allowing God’s presence to fill the spaces between your words. As you surrender your attempts to control the conversation, you can perceive more of what the Spirit wants to tell you. This can inspire a profound sense of awe in your life, as you experience the Holy Spirit’s close relationship with you.
When you trust the Holy Spirit to guide your prayers, you may find yourself moved by unexpected insights or drawn to pray for something you had not previously considered. This can deepen your awareness of God’s presence with you and his profound love for you. The realization that the Creator of the universe is personally involved in your prayers can fill you with awe. It reminds you of your important place in God’s great work.
Intersecting Faith and Life:
As you reflect on how prayer is relational rather than just transactional, reflect on these questions:
- How often do you find yourself treating prayer as a list of requests rather than a conversation with God?
- In what ways can you develop a more relational approach to prayer in your daily life?
- Can you recall a time when you felt the Holy Spirit interceding for you in prayer? How did that experience impact your relationship with God?
- How does knowing that the Spirit intercedes according to God’s will change your perspective on prayers that seem to be unanswered?
- What steps can you take to pay more attention to the Holy Spirit’s guidance during your prayer time?
Further Reading:
John 14:26
Ephesians 6:18
Jude 1:20
Philippians 4:6-7
1 John 5:14-15
Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Tinnakorn Jorruang
Whitney Hopler helps people discover God's wonder and experience awe. She is the author of several books, including the nonfiction books Wake Up to Wonder and Wonder Through the Year: A Daily Devotional for Every Year, and the young adult novel Dream Factory. Whitney has served as an editor at leading media organizations, including Crosswalk.com, The Salvation Army USA’s national publications, and Dotdash.com (where she produced a popular channel on angels and miracles). She currently leads the communications work at George Mason University’s Center for the Advancement of Well-Being. Connect with Whitney on her website at www.whitneyhopler.com, on Facebook, and on X/Twitter.
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