How to Kill Shame Once and For All
By Kelly Balarie
Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. – Hebrews 12:2 NLT
Groggy and confused, I paced around the island in the center of my kitchen. I tried to rub my temples to make the hammering headache go away but it wouldn’t relent. I couldn’t think.
“I have a horrible headache.” I told my husband.
“No, you don’t have a headache. What you have, Kelly, is shame.”
Shockingly, I considered his words. Was he right? Could what I feel in my head be a result of the shame that had compiled during the last hour of conversation with my kids? Truthfully, I felt horrible that I didn’t keep my cool with them. In the heat of difficult conversations, I gave advice and got annoyed rather than showing empathy and listening. I hate it when I do that; I can’t seem to get things right. I really could be a better mom. Will they want to keep following Jesus when they grow up? What if I messed up everything? Plus, how in the world could they be acting like this after all I taught them?
I’m ashamed of myself; I am not a good mom.
Snapping back to reality, I said to my husband, “Maybe you’re right.”
We prayed. I said something like this to God, “Father, I am sorry for carrying shame when you have afforded me grace. Will you forgive me? I am not the maker of my children; You are. You are the Maker of Heaven and Earth, certainly you have my children in your hands. I surrender them to you. I release every grievance I have against myself and every bad name I call myself. I am sorry for letting who I am rule over who Jesus has made me to be, in Him. Will you forgive me?”
Then, and there, I know I have to receive His forgiveness. Otherwise, the devil will keep hassling me with self-hate and doubt.
In this, I remember Ephesians 1:4: “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
I am holy and without fault, because Jesus was beaten and bruised to give me His goodness, His righteousness.
The truth of this is staggering.
My friend, might you be feeling shame about something? Maybe you don’t feel shame about your kids, but you feel it about work, about your intellect, about your past, about relationships, about finances or something else. Whatever it is, it is important to remember that even Jesus, “despised shame.”
“Because of the joy awaiting him (Jesus), he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne”. – Hebrews 12:2 NLT
Shame was not something Jesus played with; it was something he disregarded. Other translations say that Jesus despised the shame (see the KJV, AMPC).
We don’t hang out with shame. We despise it and disregard it. How? Like I did, we repent, realign with truth and reengage in new behaviors moving forward.
Don’t be ashamed you felt shame; you are holy and blameless, my dear friend, in Christ Jesus.
Intersecting Faith & Life:
Shame aims to give us a bad name. Shame tries to make us believe that we are our sin. Shame makes old labels stick. However, in Christ Jesus, we are not what we have done, we are sons and daughters. We are loved, chosen, called, equipped, and renewed by the power of the Holy Spirit. What shame do you need to repent of carrying? What might you release to Him? What new biblical truth can you use to be a sure and steady anchor for your soul?
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/mapo
Kelly uplifts believers with boosts of faith; be encouraged weekly by getting Kelly’s blog posts by email. Kelly, a cheerleader of faith, is a blogger, national speaker, and author of Take Every Thought Captive, Rest Now, Battle Ready, and Fear Fighting. Kelly loves seeing the power of prayer in action. She loves seeing the expression on women’s faces when they realize – their God is faithful! Kelly’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CBN’s 700 Club, Relevant and Today’s Christian Woman.
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