A Prayer to Cultivate Long-Lasting Commitment in New Marriages
By Lynette Kittle
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” - Mark 10:7-9
Comedian and former “Tonight Show” host Jay Leno told Fox News about caring for his wife, Mavis, who has advanced dementia. “People say marriage is difficult. I don’t get it. I enjoy her company. I enjoy taking care of her.” Leno’s statement is opposite to many who pass through the popular reality show “Married at First Sight.” The show offers insight into the mindset of many singles, ones who say they want marriage, yet when given the opportunity, they come up short, unwilling to truly commit, sacrifice, and submit to one another. In the pre-marriage interviews, prospective brides and grooms often express how ready they are to be married and want a life-long, lasting commitment.
However, all too soon into the marriage, it all starts to fall apart for most of the couples who were matched together sight unseen. Many may say it’s because they didn’t choose the person they married, but is it really? Looking at national statistics, those who choose their own spouse have similar failure rates. So, is it an authentic reason? Or is it something deeper within individuals unwilling to pay the high cost of committing to a lifelong marriage, whether their spouse came to them sight-seen or unseen?
What’s Behind the Struggle to Love?
Anyone who is married knows the struggle is real. Enduring love in marriage seems harder to find and maintain in our world today. Jesus, in Matthew 24:12-13, cuts right to the issue of what is behind love that fails. “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.”
Likewise, the Apostle Paul in 2 Timothy 3:1-4 points out, “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”
Scripture Reveals Keys to Long-Lasting Marriages
Although it takes two in marriages to make it last, Scripture seems to most heavily address the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. When a husband’s love grows cold for his wife, the marriage is in dire trouble. Following are verses describing ways a husband can love his wife.
- Love her sacrificially. Ephesians 5:25 explains a husband’s love for his wife as sacrificial in nature, like Christ’s love for His Bride the Church. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.”
- Love her like your own body. Ephesians 5:28 directs husbands to love their wives like they do their own bodies: “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
- Love her like you love yourself. Ephesians 5:33 stresses how important it is for a husband to love his wife like himself. “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
- Love her in gentleness. Colossians 3:19 urges husbands to love their wives with gentleness. “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
- Love her with plenty of TLC.1 Peter 3:7 encourages men to love their wives with tender loving care, along with noting the consequences of failing to do so. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Love Leaves No Room for Excuses
Sadly, many wives make it very difficult for husbands to love them. Yet, a husband's love for his wife is not dependent on her actions and attitudes but based on his relationship with God. A husband's love for his wife is centered on his faith because the deeper his commitment to God, the more he is able to love his wife. 1 John 4:8 gives us no excuse for lack of love, confirming that “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Let’s pray:
Dear Father,
Thank you for Jesus, who loves His Bride the Church and has given Himself up for her. Forgive us for ways we have let the wickedness in the world affect our hearts in ways we may not even recognize by turning our hearts away from You and letting our love grow cold towards You and each other. Soften our hearts to love you more so that we may love each other. Help us as couples to cultivate a long-lasting commitment in our marriages. Strengthen us with Your word so that we may love and respect each other as You have called us to do.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Hiraman
Lynette Kittle is married with four daughters. She enjoys writing about faith, marriage, parenting, relationships, and life. Her writing has been published by Focus on the Family, Decision, Today’s Christian Woman, kirkcameron.com, Ungrind.org, StartMarriageRight.com, and more. She has a M.A. in Communication from Regent University and serves as associate producer for Soul Check TV.
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